Perhaps if She Played the Violin with a More Popular Part of her Body

gay

1 a : happily excited : merry b : keenly alive and exuberant : having or inducing high spirits
2 a : bright, lively b : brilliant in color
3: given to social pleasures;
4 a : homosexual b : of, relating to, or used by homosexuals

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From the gossip pages:
Paris (Hilton) is a "classically trained violinist," says Blender (via the New York Post), although it looks like she has no plans to show off her string skills on her much-ballyhooed forthcoming CD.

"I'm not going to be onstage playing the violin," she explains to the mag. "That would be gay."

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Which one of those means stupid? None of them. That's not even the most bothersome thing about this quote. It's just the first thing that I can think of to contradict. Actually, it was the first thing that She-Ra brought to my attention.

I have several other problems with this bit of gossip. First of all, I am technically a classically trained pianist, yet I haven't played piano for over 10 years. Does this qualify me to put down a recording of it? No.

Second of all, since I hadn't heard much about the Paris Hilton album since she was dating Nick Carter (which was like 2 engagements and 5 boyfriends ago), I was kinda hoping it was die--like her acting career after 'House of Wax'.

Or maybe it will be like a 45 minute-long all Paris version of "But Can They Sing?." The show itself might not be worth sitting down to listen to, but check out The Soup on Fridays for the highlights---and if nothing else, check out Bai Ling's performances. I have no idea who this girl is or what she does, but all the racket she's making makes me think she's an Asian Paris Hilton minus the money. What does she do, people?