Words and Phrases that Makes No Sense Out of the Workplace

Is Mila trying to increase
her ROI here?

I used to look at things happening in my corporate jobs with a sense of cynicism and sarcasm. Unfortunately, the longer I'm in the "business world," the more I not only don't notice these things, but I actually do them myself. And I don't like that. I need to remember how to be a real person, if not inside the hours of 9 to 5, at least outside.

So here's my list of words or phrases that have completely weird or irrelevant meanings in real life (and by "real life" I mean the actual lives we live when we WANT to live them, not the life we live to earn money to support that life):

• Vision: outside of work, if someone used the word "vision" I assume they're a psychic or have just taken some psychotropic drugs.
• "Think outside of the box": What is this box to which you are referring? And why does a cliche meaning to not be a cliche warrant a cliche? (did you get that all?)
• Pain point: typically an elbow if I've hit my funny bone (which is actually a nerve) or my knees. Because they are pointy and I have bad knees.
• Return on Investment (ROI): I have decided to measure my love for my cats based on their return on investment. I will use the dollars we spent on them in their lifetime and measure that against the amount of love and joy they give me. Since Khubla is a shelter cat with no health problems, he's looking like the cat with the best ROI right now. Wonder if this works with kids. . .(and if it does, I wonder if my parents ever derived my ROI. Hmmmmm)

What're your corporate words or phrases that bug you?