What Can You Get From a Toilet Seat Anyway?

I get all judgey in bathrooms. People that look like normal citizens in any other setting suddenly become carriers of every exotic disease known to man when they enter the bathroom. It's made a little paranoid and I'm not sure the reasons are all that valid. (Although MERS is a real thing, people).

For example, I'm not a big fan of the paper toilet seat cover. I don't think it really does anything. But there are times when I see someone washing their hands, and notice that the stall I went in to has water that's clearly just been flushed, and I'll grab one. I told you. I'm judgey in bathrooms.

And that's if the person is actually washing their hands. If they are just making the motions or messing with their hair and it's obvious that they haven't even attempted cleanliness, I'll just move on out of the stall and hit the next one.

But honestly, despite this paranoia, what actual diseases can you get from a toilet seat? The first rumor about any new disease is that you can't get it from a toilet seat. HIV/AIDS? Not the toilet seat. The Clap? Not from the crapper. Cancer? Yet again, not transmitted through porcelain.

Seriously, I'm probably still going to be judgmental in the bathroom (and don't act like you aren't. You know you are), but do I have anything to be afraid of (Except MERS, of course)?

My Blog Wouldn't Be The Same Without Poop-related Posts

Those of you who really know and love me, know that I have a long history with poop. In just about every sense of the word possible. In that light, my friend Meredith sent me this video and  had to post it. 

It was my duty. 

You're welcome. 

Products Making a Splash Today

You don't know what you got til it's gone.

The headline might be kind of a stretch. The one product making a splash today was the Twinkie, which announced it comeback date of July 15th with a HUGE billboard at Hollywood & Highland. Who knew the beloved snack cake would create such an uproar when it was threatened? I love Twinkies, but apparently not as much as most other people, judging by the uproar. I was always more partial to the Oatmeal Cream Pie or Swiss roll, myself. But then again, my school cafeterias were always stocked with a plethora of Little Debbie products. Maybe that's just Indiana.

The second product I spotted in a local 7-Eleven and thought was

Creepy

a joke. Shaq Soda?!?! Really? Do I need a 7-foot tall man hawking me everything? From soda to Buicks to Goldbond Medicated products to Icy hot. I wouldn't be all that surprised if he ended up with his own line of tampons soon. He was always good at blocking things. Just sayin'.

And on a completely different note altogether, can we just all agree that paper toilet seat covers are 100 percent worthless? They always fall into the bowl and then take two flushes to get down. And if the toilet seat is that disgusting looking in the first place, then you're probably already contaminated. Let's just hover and save some trees.

Happy Monday from my head full of randomness!

Can we agree to pee in toilets please?

There seems to be a strain of people that are peeing in completely unreasonable places. Namely airplanes. And not in the bathrooms.

Look, I of all people know its hard to hold it. I specifically have aisle seats on long flights so that I don't have to crawl over people for the bathroom. I even had my first outdoor pee in forever while on a long drive, but I had napkins and a heavy underbrush to shield me.

The same could not be said of Gerard Depardieu, who peed on the floor of a plane on recently. Or US Ski team hopeful, Robert Vietze, who peed on a flight, but also on an underage girl. I know the bathrooms are not the most spacious, but they do have some essential things...like toilets.

What's up with this, people?

Public Restroom Habits

When you use public restrooms a lot, be it at work or on the road, you begin to realize there are some habits that are prevalent but really shouldn't be. And those habits typically revolve around the bathroom. Here are just a few of my recently noted obnoxious bathroom behavior:

• Failure to replace toilet paper rolls: Contrary to popular belief, this isn't just a male problem, as I've recently began experiencing it in the ladies' room. I've now learned that if it's after 4 p.m. and I choose to use the first stall in my office, then I'll more than likely be hobbling to the next stall for some paper.
• Not washing your hands: Not even the president is too busy to take 30 second out after using the bathroom to wash his hands. You're not too busy either. This is especially gross if the offender touches their hands and/or hair before leaving the sink area.
• Sitting in the stall next to the occupied stall when there are literally 10 other choices: Observe the every other stall rule at a minimum when the place is relatively empty. The illusion of privacy is shattered as soon as someone coughs or unrolls the toilet paper, so choosing a stall away from others when they're available just helps everyone pretend a little longer.
• Acting mad if someone in the bathroom is taking a #2: People have varying degrees of comfort doing a deuce away from home base. I get that and am not going to begrudge anyone their opinion. However, I do take offense to people who are shocked or offended that someone is taking a poo in a public bathroom. Where else are they supposed to go? They are doing the right then in the right place. If they've gotten over the potential for embarrassment, then you should let it be. I honestly think it's the shame that prevents women from leaving home base. What makes me say that? you ask. I worked at a large place a long time ago and the lights in the bathroom were out. Everything else worked including the ventilation. During the three hour blackout, that bathroom got more dropped loads than in a normal entire week. The anonymity gave people freedom.

So, that's my list for now. If you would care to see more outrageous (and clean-except in terms of language) bathroom behavior, check this out.