I went Friday to Sam's Club to get a set of new tires for the Cam. Hoping that I would get a jump on the crowd, I got there at a little before 4 p.m. When I purchased my new tires, I found out that it would take 2 hours for them to be installed. Two hours of Sam's Club is a long time.
I walked up and down every aisle. At one point, a man who worked there asked me for help and I politely declined. He saw me later and asked me if I was lost. I explained that I was waiting on tires to be installed and he said "Are you SURE you aren't lost?". You ask a 5 year-old that. Not a 26 year old.
The highlight of the evening was sitting at the "Cafe" having a Diet Coke and having a 30-something guy hit on me at the urging of his mother. Luckily, my name was called over the loud speaker right when things were getting really awkward.
Despite my long-ass wait, I did get about $40 back because they took more than their 59-minute guarantee.
Needless to say that I when I saw myself as a grown-up, I never imagined that my Friday night would be spent being picked up at a Sam's Club.
3 comments:
Getting there early at 4:00 p.m.? Dude, getting to either Sam's OR Wal-Mart early is more like 4:00 A.M. And that's just so there are few enough people there that you only run into 100 morbidly obese, unwashed child molesters with your cart, not 1000.
I fucking HATE that place, and not for the socially conscious reasons that Precious does. When the revolution comes, I'm nuking all Wal-Marts to begin the Genetic Purification (Step One of my Final Solution, read about it now in my new book "Mein Schnitzel" in bookstores now, only $29.95 h/c). I'm just sayin'.
I usually hit Wal-Mart or Kroger at about 6 a.m. on the weekends. However, who really thought that there would be an abundance of tire buyers on a Friday night? Of course, my first tip should have been the dually mulletted couple buying monster truck tires in front of me.
Yeah, yeah, I may hate Walmart and Sams Club and Home Depot for the socially conscious reason, but also b/c I don't want to catch anything from the shoppers. I haven't had a hep vaccine yet and that guy picking up the 60 lb/ bag of dog food looks ripe with a virus.
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