Apologies to all of those with birthdays in late August. And if your wedding is, was or will be scheduled for late August, you'll excuse me for celebrating a little less joyously. For me, late August sucks.
Not just me, but also some of my friends. You see I've lost a lot of good people in my life and it always seems to happen in August. My grandfather passed away 15 years ago earlier this week, my friend's mom passed away around this time, and my own mom passed away 12 years ago today.
The good news is that while I get irritated and a little irritable on this day, I'm not crying in the fetal position like I used to. The older I get the less rare it is, sadly, to have a parent who's passed away too early. And I wonder if the year that I turn 42, it will feel different. That's the year when I will have lived longer without my mom than with her. It seems weird to think about. It also seems weird to think that I've known my stepfather longer than my mom did. By a lot. I've been in the man she married's life longer than she was. And I'm exceptionally thankful for it. There are many gifts she's given me and that is definitely one.
So today I just put my head down and muddled through like every Wednesday. But I knew and I know that this day hurts less this year than last and more than next. But this week, I'm wishing for the weekend for more than just leisure. I'm ready for September!
3 comments:
That's tough. I can't imagine. So - DOWN WITH AUGUST.
If you will join me with DOWN WITH SEPTEMBER.
It's always my worse month. ALWAYS.
I'm in! Down with SEPTEMBER!!
My dad died on St. Patrick's Day in '96. It took until 2009 to come to terms with that holiday and to celebrate it; if not for me, than for my kids. In my defense, green does makes my hair look a little brassy...
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