Getting Kind of Excited And Terrified

I have officially finished hand editing my novel and I have to say that it doesn't look as bad as I thought it would. Are there some big sections of boring prose and little progress? Why yes, yes there are. Are those sections easily cut or rewritten to better fit into the entirety of the story? Why yes, yes they are. Considering I started writing this novel in pieces that weren't not necessarily in chronological order and I wasn't sure if I what I wrote would end up making much sense, I can say that I was pleasantly surprised.

So now I'm adding my edits into the computer and adding some touches before I send it to a few trusted people to read through before...DUM DUM DUM...trying to find an agent. My goal is to theoretically have something workable to send out by January 1st. I'll be using this time to not only polish the roughness of the manuscript down a little more, but also to mentally prepare myself for the agony of being rejected constantly.

I don't know if anyone takes rejection well, and I am no exception. I especially have a hard time if the rejection is coming towards something I care about and needless to say, I care about my writing. Even when I try to pretend I don't.

What I really fear is that this thing will get looked at and people will think it needs a major overhaul. Which means that I'll be rocking myself quietly in the corner for a month or so. As much as I love this novel, I'm also ready to start working on something else, too. Meaning that I need to have some time devoted to the new characters in my head. Unless that's schizophrenia, but then that would present before I turned 30, so I think it's just new characters.

Wish me luck!