30-something going on 20-something?

Chef got the new Taylor Swift album for me. Feel free to poke fun all you want. Mostly he did it because I asked him too and then because he loves to make me happy. I've been listening to it shamelessly for the past few days. I like to turn it up, roll the windows down and then watch the hipsters and Hollywood homeless look at the old weirdo listening to Taylor Swift in her Nissan Sentra. It's fun.

Part of the reason I like listening to Taylor Swift is because it reminds me of my late teens and early twenties. The whole being bad at relationships (although I don't think anyone is ever really GOOD at them; we're all varying shades of bad), hanging out with my girlfriends until the wee hours of the morning, eating at Denny's or Steak 'N Shake because they were the only things open. It was awesome.

And I don't really want to repeat it. I love getting together with my girls every now and again for some wine and good food, but I'm fairly certain that my intestinal tract and liver can't handle the kind of abuse I used to put my body through.

But more than anything, what I realize is that I didn't have all those failed relationships that most girls get to have when they're young. I spent most of my efforts on massive unrequited crushes that took up my time and energy but only left me wounded for a moment before I moved on to the next. There were a few that were stronger than others, but in the end, did I ever have those guys that I hung out with forever, made out with just as long and then dumped or got dumped? Not really. Part of that was being overweight and not feeling that I was attractive enough to land a guy. Part of it was having high enough self-worth to know that I didn't find most of these guys all that interesting.

Sometimes I wonder if I would do things differently if I were to go back. Would I truly try to be in more relationships? (Poor Chef had to deal with the brunt of a lot of my relationship naivete) Or do I just feel like I missed out on something that I probably wouldn't have enjoyed all that much in the end? Who's to say, I guess. In the end, things didn't turn out too shabby. Which is something else I also bob my head to and think about as I'm rocking out to my Taylor Swift songs.

Attack of the Tacky

I have never been a girly girl. I have never considered myself exceptionally high maintenance. But nothing will change that perception faster than a trip to Gatlinburg.

I had never been to Pigeon Forge, Gatlinburg, Dollywood or anything in that area. Not that I hadn't wondered about it, but Tennessee wasn't the normal destination for vacations in Indiana. I had a few trips to Nashville, but other than that, it was mostly Indianapolis, Florida or the grandparents houses. We had the extra special trip to the Cayman Islands too, and a trip to Myrtle Beach, but I digress.

So I didn't know exactly what to expect. And Gatlinburg was beyond my expectations. I went with two of my chicks for a quick girls' trip. Had we gone for a mountain retreat, the experience might've been different. But probably not better. I love the tacky. It gave me fuel for the snarky comments for the entire time I was there PLUS a blog entry and some good stories.

So we had a great hotel (thanks, Jules!) and after the 6 hour trip (normally 4, but the traffic made it like Spring Break '94), we got dolled up for a night on the town. The recommended watering holes were a brewery that was owned by Calhoun's and the TGIFriday's. Not a great sign.

My favorite points of the trip were the crowded streets with families where at least one teenager looked mortified and parents were determined to make some memories, dammit. There was a plethora of options for miniature golf, ziplines and dinner shows. But places that stayed open past 1 a.m.--not so much.

The best part of the trip was the time with the girls. But that's often the case, isn't it? The company makes the trip.

Back to Reality

Last week was somewhat less of a reality check as it was the third week in a row that I worked less than 5 days. This week. Not so much. Back to a full work week and all that that entails. I'm also back to missing my girls instead of being with them, but that is a constant for about 360 days a year.

Being up north did inspire me to start cooking more. I've let that slide and know that when I actually cook, I actually care what ends up in my body. Being busy was never an excuse when I was losing weight the first time and shouldn't be an excuse now. So I'm not gonna let it.

Wish me luck. . .

And Now They're Gone

Yesterday my three closest friends from high school and college made the up to 7 hour trek from up north to visit me. Actually, they got here on Friday night and Chef made them a delightful "Welcome" meal, but I digress.

We talked, shopped and ate. . .all three in abundance. It was so easy to get back in a routine with them. That's something I always love about the girls. It doesn't matter how long we've been a part, we can always get together like no time has passed.

The only bad thing about them coming is them leaving. It always sucks to be the one that's being left, not the one doing the leaving. I get depressed when I leave them in Indiana, but I know that I'm going back home. Being at home and then having them here and gone, it makes me so much more sad. I am officially depressed but know that it was totally worth it to see them.

They came down to help me celebrate my 30th birthday, which is next Thursday. I don't know quite how I feel about turning 30. Everyone says it's great, but I don't know if that's because it's true or because it's inevitability makes optimism a prerequisite. Either way, I know I should be doing something big, but I just don't know what to do. I'm taking off of work, which is huge considering it's a very busy time of year. But other than sleeping in with Chef and cuddling cats, I'm not sure what to do. If anyone has any ideas, feel free to pass them along. I'm open to just about anything.