This is the very definition of hyperbole:
"Tom Cruise is one of the most important stars ever in the motion picture business," Universal Studios President Ron Meyer, a close friend and former agent, told Reuters.
Of course, how important are stars really? Is Tom Cruise going to cure cancer? Balance the budget? Mediate the peace talks between Iran and Israel? No, no and no again. Let's put things in perspective. He reads lines that more talented people wrote while pyrotechnical masters make things explode around him and people who actually know what the hell they're doing cut the work into a manageable size. He's an overpaid reader. Some people do that at church on Sundays for free.
But what really makes me happy is that the world is all aflutter because Mission Impossible 3 didn't make $70 million over the weekend. It only made about $48 million. Wow. That is disappointing.
Needless to say the media is hypothesizing about the downturn in the movie's outcome and the downturn in Cruise's Popularity. I, personally, would blame Phillip Seymour Hoffman. When people found out he talked normally instead of in the nasal whine of Capote, they were disappointed and left. Or perhaps people like me blame Cruise for making Chef leave South Park and hate him for it.
Either way, USA Today did a poll of about 1,000 of the, what 60 million?, people in the U.S. to tell us that more than half of people think less of Tom Cruise now. And here's the biggest shocker, he fell the hardest in opinion among women. So, a good-looking man over the age of 40 marries a 20-something and women don't like this? That IS news.
From this point on, I'm only writing about Tom Cruise if he does something noteworthy. And that will be a long time coming.
On another note, did anyone else see the priest that got convicted of stabbing a nun 31 times in the shape of an upside down cross and then "anointing" her with a smudge of her own blood? How soon before this gets incorporated into a movie? Seriously, the supposed motive of the priest was that he just snapped. When I just snap, I usually throw something. I don't stab someone 31 times and then smear their own blood on them. I do occasionally fling my own feces on people Swampy-style, but that's on a rare occasion.
3 comments:
The nun thing is far more likely to be incorporated into a "pulled from the headlines" episode of Law and Order: Priest Stabbing Squadron (No, Not That Priest Stabbing Squadron, The Other One That Has Emelio Esteves and The Chick From Pump Up The Volume, Though I Understand Your Confusion What With The Two Law and Order Spinoffs Dedicated To Priests Who Stab People).
I'm looking forward to when Law and Order celebrates the 100th episode of it's 100th spinoff.
I think when that happens though we'll be lead into a vortex of an alternate dimension where Vincent D'ofrio is president and Chris Noth is VP. Noth orchestrates a nasty assasination and then takes over as leader. And our national anthem has "da dum" in it six times. But that's just me.
Heh. Swampy. You makee me laughee.
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