When You're Doomed Before You Start

I had an interview this morning at a Skin Care place. I knew it was doomed because I had developed my largest zit in several months around my mouth this weekend. Chef wondered aloud if a small puppy might erupt from it Alien-style. So, big zit and skin care interview. Not a good start.

Then the lady I met with had no sense of humor. In fact, I felt like I was wasting her time and mine. She knew within 10 seconds of meeting me that I wasn't the one for the gig. She asked me things like "Well, which of these computer programs are you really proficient in."

"Well, all of them. With the exception of one, I use them all every day." I realize some people lie, but would I really list out all of the computer programs I'd HEARD of and try to pass them off as things I know. How many people accuse someone of lying on a resume in a frickin' job interview?!?!? Why interview me at all if you didn't believe my resume?

Then she told me that I'd have to meet with the director of operations, Pat Buchanan. It was a female Pat Buchanan, but nonetheless I knew with absolute certainty, that that was my sign things weren't going to work out. Then the lady interviewing me informed me that Pat had been tied up in an emergency that developed over the weekend and wouldn't be able to see me today. The translation to that statement from Southern side-speak to straightforward talk is this: "Look, we both know you aren't getting this job. I just left the room and told Pat Buchanan that she needn't worry about us taking up her time this morning."

I should've just gotten up and walked out except that I would've missed out on the opportunity to be criticzed for my current work. Apparently a former and current employee of the skin care place had been involved in an incident at a third party place. The third party told me about it and who was involved and I was sent out to award those involved for their efforts. Well, apparently one of the skin care company's current employees is still pissed because she wasn't mentioned or recognized. Of course, I didn't even know this person existed because the third party gave me the names of those involved. This event happened a YEAR ago. It went a little something like this:

"Funny you mention Incident X. Some of our former and current employees were both involved with Incident X at Location Y. Our current employee was involved and yet her name never seemed to make it into any of the papers or recognition."

I began to wonder if I was called in merely to have that rubbed in my face. I couldn't say anything nor did I want to at that point. I shook her hand, pretended to smile and walked my ass back to my car laughing. At least I was laughing.