Why Am I Reinventing the Wheel? (Or using tired cliches?)

This was under the lid of a box of
mini-pies I bought last week. 

My experiment in trying all new healthy recipes hit a snag last week that lead to my downfall. I had three bad recipes in row which in my head gave me a legitimate reason to give up and order a Domino's Bread Bowl--which is the ultimate in nasty carb overload. I've also been a touch down which again lead to the carb chowdown.

I was thinking about where I went wrong and then I realized that I'm not new to this. I've lost weight before and I will lose weight again. I took a step back and thought: What were the habits I had when I successful in losing weight? What made it seem not so hard back then? And so, now I'm gonna write them down here and make the commitment to replicate them for a month to see how I do. Here goes:

• Track--truthfully--every calorie I consume
• Don't beat myself up about a bad meal--just don't let one meal turn into a day or a week or a month. 
• Eat things I love. Just healthier versions. If I don't say NO to anything in particular then I'm not really denying myself. I just need to eat better versions.
• Eat at least 3 fruits and veggies a day. (Yes, I know it's a 5 a day limit, but I've always been behind on that one).
• Mix up the exercise. Do a regular bout of cardio (running, walking, elliptical) each day and some weight training or other exercises at least 3 times a week. 
• Limit my alcohol.
• Look at menus of where I'm planning on eating before I go out so that I can make my healthy choice before I walk through the door. 
• Eat 5 times a day--3 meals and two small snacks. 
• Weight myself only twice a week. (not daily. yes, I'm that neurotic)

So that's it. These were the things that helped me do well before. They helped me focus on gaining healthy habits and not just on weight loss. They made being healthier easier and fun. And I didn't dread what I was supposed to be eating. 

Pizza Slut, Vampires, Stuffed Animals and Succulents

Jenny Lawson, aka The Bloggess, on
the left, Soleil Moon Frye on the right
(Man scratching his head-dead center)

I spent the weekend carbo-loading. Not for any particular reason other than I had a heart-to-heart with myself last week and decided that my skin, hair, body and clothes were telling me one thing: I needed to try harder. It's not my full effort and without that, I can't depend on my best results.

So between my gorging of all things baked, fried or just plain delicious and shopping at various nurseries for Chef's new love of gardening, I got my car fixed (kind of. The damn tire pressure sensor was off for half a day and then came back on which sent me over the edge in a fit of fury), added red to my head, got my hands and feet all pretty in coral, and saw Jenny Lawson, aka The Bloggess, being interviewed by Soleil Moon Frye (aka Punky Brewster).

Chef was gracious enough to go with me to the Bloggess event (book reading, signing and interview thingy) even though he wasn't totally into it. I could tell because he was looking up gardening stuff most of the time. However, I enjoyed it, although there was a lady there who blogged in the voice of her stuffed sheep which kind of creeped me out. The Bloggess is delightfully dirty and odd, but that was a little odd, even for me. Also, Stephanie Meyer, author of the Twilight series, was in the crowd in cognito. I remember seeing her at the time, but didn't put two and two together. As is the case when you're still reeling in laughter from a story about an at-home cleanse using ex-lax and a question from a lady that came through the voice of the stuffed goat she blogs through (FYI- the goat was not full size, but rather a small hand-held goat. If it had been full-sized, I think I would've been less confused. Maybe.)

After that, I helped pick out two plants that I wanted because they were pretty and made me happy. Then I decided that I needed to concentrate on making myself happy, in various ways. I bought a book of writing prompts, read about 100 magazines that had been piling up, and decided to get my ass back in gear. Again. YES AGAIN. I work out now and count calories, but I haven't been super strict about my diet in a while. And while I haven't eaten an entire box of TGIFriday's potato skins and an entire DiGiorno pepperoni pizza (that may have happened in the past, I'm just saying), I also haven't stuck to lean proteins, restricted carbs (my love for which can only be topped by my love for Chef and our cats, most of the time), and eaten fruits and veggies. So back to the original diet plan it goes. I even had Chef buy my old protein shakes when he went to the grocery store. I had a French Vanilla EAS CarbAdvantedge (yes, it's spelled like that) this afternoon for my "high-protein" snack. And tomorrow, I go on a cleanse. We'll see how that goes.

You Say You Want a Revolution

Okay, maybe I don't need a revolution. Maybe it's an attitude adjustment. Or "I say I need a inspiration". What can you give me?

I need to regain my focus, motivation, whatever it is that makes me care about my eating and exercise. My weight loss has been stagnant in the last two months and it's 100 percent my fault. I used travel as an excuse to eat whatever I wanted. I mean, how often could I have a Philly cheesesteak in Philadelphia? I had to take advantage, right?

And to make things worse, I have still been getting up at 5 a.m. every morning to get on the elliptical and make things happen. Why is that worse? Because I've been getting up so early and wasting my efforts. That just makes me mad. I'm an idiot.

On the other hand, the working out probably prevented me from gaining more weight than I probably should have. But it's awash and basically spent 8 weeks losing 2 pounds. Not cool.

So I'm going to be bold and say that I want to get back to the weight I was at at my lowest and I want to do it before the end of July. That's about a pound a week, which isn't all that ambitious. But at least it's a goal.

The cravings must be a household thing because Genghis is now begging for white chocolate macadamia nut cookies when Chef eats them. Carb cravings are a family trait for sure!

Frankly, Scarlett, We don't give a damn. Just hand us the food.

There are some nights when you can't believe the people you meet. And that's without even leaving your home. Friday night was one of those nights. After having spent the night at Wal-Mart, Dick's Sporting Goods, Petsmart and Kroger buying Soap Scum remover, water bottles, cat food and human food, among other things, I went home exhausted and excited about starting the meal plan...on Saturday. I mean, it's just silly to start a meal plan two thirds of the way into the day, right?

So to celebrate our new begining, Chef and I went out with a Bang. Or a breadbowl to be more precise. A suprisingly delicious card-loaded (saying my last goodbyes before I'm relegated to two servings of whole grains--one of which is oatmeal) pasta-filled breadbowl from Domino's. Not normally a place that would call to us, but it totally hit the spot. What really weirded us out was the delivery woman, Scarlett. The normal food delivery transaction is fairly simple and short, hand over food, exchange for money or signature on credit card receipt, close door. This night was different.

This woman chatted Chef up while he was getting the food and then demanded to see my driver's license before she would hand over the food. (I'd put the online order on my card). I did and she stood there with the door propped open for so long that Genghis ran out of the apartment. . .while she just stood there. No effort to get out of Chef's way or concern for our animal. She then proceeded to tell me that she and her mom ran a Barber business, but her mom died a year ago. "But I still come to people's houses to cut their hair," she said. "I can come back here and cut both of yours." She then handed me her business card.

After we FINALLY got her all the information she needed to process my card (urine sample, blood draw and 10 forms of id), she opened the warmer to find that she'd only brought half our order. I was immediately irritated mostly because I knew she'd have to come back. And she did a mere 10 minutes later. Of course it took 20 minutes because Chef had to spend the time talking to her about how pissed her manager was at her.

We thought the Scarlett saga was over until we heard a third knock at the door just as we were finishing. Scarlett had lost my credit card receipt and asked if she could have the one she'd given me back so that her manager wouldn't get pissed. When I finally found it and rewrote all the info on it, she asked me if I was from Nashville. When I said no, she then proceeded to talk about how much my mom must miss me because she misses her daughter who lives in a double-wide in North Carolina. I am not adding any detail to this. She told me this at the door as I was trying to politely close it. But after a while, being polite is not an option. When she went back into telling me how much my mom must miss me, I finally just snapped.

"My mom's been dead for 9 years. Have a nice night!" and shut the door.

If you're ordering Domino's from the Belcourt location, just make sure Scarlett doesn't deliver it. It almost made me glad that I'm not going to be ordering out for a while.