Taquitos are a good time

Lately we've been having taquitos at least once a week--sometimes more if we run out of dinner options. Tonight is taquito night this week and it left me thinking a few things.

• Is there really such a thing as a taquito or was it made up by the frozen food companies because frozen tacos suck? I got my answer.
• Isn't a taquito just a smaller version of an chimichanga? Isn't a chimichanga a fried version of an enchilada? Isn't an enchilada an open ended version of a burrito? Is there any Mexican food that isn't a derivative of another dish?
• Avocado is a god-like food that can be smeared on nearly anything edible to make it delicious. It's becoming my slightly healthier version of cheese in that sense.

Anyway, because I've been asked before, I'll post my "recipe" for taquitos, which really isn't a recipe, but just a tested method of making these things healthier and still very crispy. Here goes:

1. Preheat your oven to 400 degrees and place one to two cookie sheets in to warm up (I hate you Sandra Lee, but I love this tip).
2. Brown some ground turkey (yes, turkey) then add water, taco seasoning, garlic, paprika, red pepper flakes, minced onion, cayene pepper and whatever else you like until it tastes how you'd like it. Honestly the taco seasoning does a lot of the work, but I like making it a little spicier.
3. Next take about 5 taco size corn tortillas and place them between two moist paper towels. Nuke them for one minute. Okay, here's my corn tortilla sidebar: I have a preference for Kroger brand corn tortillas (and I rarely have a preference for anything related to Kroger) for three reasons: 1) They are only 35 calories per tortilla as opposed to other grocery stores (Harris Teeter I'm talk to you) that have about 50+ calories per tortilla 2) They're cheap--like 70 cents for a pack of 10 and 3) they seem to roll better than other brands-no idea why.
4. After the tortillas are warm, take one and slice it in half. Have both pieces with the long side facing you on a cutting board and put in the ground turkey and , if you like, a small pinch of cheese. Warning--make sure the ground turkey is in small bits because a chunk might make the roll impossible.
5. Roll up and push down to get to stick. Roll as many as desired--10-15 per person should be plenty for a meal.
6. Take cookie sheet out of the oven and spray with Olive Oil flavored Pam. Place taquitos on pan in rows and spritz tops with Olive Oil Pam. Bake for about 5-10 minutes--until slightly brown. Then flip and bake for an additional 3-5 minutes. Taquitos are now crispy and delicious.

Ten taquitos are about 375 calories without guacamole or salsa. Not too bad a way to be bad. Mmm, now I'm hungry. Okay, spread the love of taquitos, people.

Sure Signs You're Middle Class

Last night I went to a work shindig. It was very lovely and accomplished many things including rallying some very influential movers and shakers around the cause. However, when that many high powered people are in one room, it makes me realize just how staunchly entrenched in the middle class that I am. Here are some ways I knew:

• When one guest mentioned wanting a pool, I immediately threw out there "Yeah, but the upkeep is horrendous" before realizing that they probably won't be touching pool chemicals or a sweeper ever.
• None of my stories begin with "We were taking this quick jaunt up to Chicago in our private plane, and. . ."
• I had to explain to the valet the best way to get into my 14 year old car. (It only unlocks from the passenger side, God love it.)
• I can't relate to taking a business trip. . .to Japan or hosting the Australian Trade Commissioner for dinner.

However, that's what I love about sports. No matter how rich or poor a person, they can all become instant friends or enemies in the matter of one question: Who's your favorite team?

One Reason I'm Glad That Summer's Almost Over

I think most of you know that I'm an avid sports fan. That being said I multitask each morning by watching Mike & Mike on ESPN 2 while I get ready. While Mike & Mike rocks, it puts me in a demographic to watch stupid life jacket PSAs every morning. Look, I get and understand the importance of wearing a life jacket. I just don't need a teenager preaching to me at 7 in the morning. Especially not one that's about 3 feet tall.

So while I don't look forward to cold weather, I am ready for the Wear It Tennessee! commercials to come to an end.

Check it out and give me your opinon.

Things I Learned from Last Night's Keith Urban Concert

Last night I went to the Sugarland/ Keith Urban concert at the Sommet Center. I'm not a live music person which is sacrilege in Nashville, but the ticket was free, in a suite, and the company promised to be fun as well. Besides, there's no better place to country music, pop country or old school, than in the town that celebrates it in its every boot scuff and lilting twang accent.

It was a good show. Anyone that can play for two hours with but a minute or two break is truly earning some money. It was entertaining for sure, but I'd have say that I dig Sugarland a little more than Keith Urban. Plus I was resentful that he didn't even mention Nicole Kidman at all.

That being said, here are some things I noticed:

• Every woman there--from the young to the more mature--was dressing as if they expected Keith to see them and instantly know he was meant for them. Which is a little bewildering when he has a notoriously famous and beautiful wife who bore him a child. And little creepy when you consider that if you brought a recovering coke addict accountant home, your family wouldn't have a great response, but Keith Urban-hell yeah.
  
• To have be a hit in country music, you must have at least one song in your catalog about skipping work and staying in bed with your lover. It's obligatory. People eat that shit up.
• Guitarists truly are enamored with having something large come from their crotch. Keith Urban is a HELL of a guitarist. More than I've probably ever taken the time to notice or give credit for. However, one hazards to guess that those calluses don't come solely from his pickin' if you know what I mean.
• Are the expectations of a country love song a little out of reach with reality? I mean if Chef started spewing some of the things that are in these lyrics, I think I'd have a hard time taking him seriously. Also, it made me think Keith Urban was a little but of a pussy. I'm just saying.
• The older I get, the more curmudgeonly I get and think that I'm turning into my father (not that that's entirely a bad thing). I found myself thinking "Stop letting the crowd sing. If I wanted to hear that, I'd step down to the karaoke bar and listen to these drunk bastards later tonight." and the classic "Why are you singing someone else's songs? I didn't come to hear someone else. I came to hear you sing YOUR songs."

Overall, it was a good night with great company and what I needed. Now I need a lazy day and some additional grocery shopping.

Dreaming of Mike Rowe

Last night was repeated proof that I watch too much Dateline and 48 Hours and other related news murder mystery shows. I fell asleep with a Dateline on about a swindling Indianapolis man (Purdue graduate, of course) who faked his own death to avoid creditors. However, my subconscious took me in another more pleasant direction.

I was dreaming of trying to hook my girlfriend (Amanda, shout out to you) up with my ex-boyfriend, who just happened to be Mike Rowe. For those of you not familiar, he's from the Discovery Channel's Dirty Jobs and those Ford Commercials (see picture below). However, instead of him hooking up with her, we ended up back together. He got down on his knee to propose just as he got a phone call. The phone call lead to a helicopter taking him away.

Just as I was wondering what was going on, Amanda explained to me that Mike's first wife had disappeared 10 years ago from "Indianapolis County, FL" ( I even saw a map in my head like it was on Dateline) and that they just had a lead on her whereabouts. "How could you have dated him before and not know that?" Amanda asked me in my REM state.

Then I woke up.

While any dream with Mike Rowe is a step in a positive direction, I think I still prefer dreaming about my mom.

The object of my subconscious affections, Mike Rowe

Rainy Day Matches My Mood

There are very few mornings when I wake up and it's raining and I think "That's perfect." Mostly because I run outside in the mornings and while I don't mind running in a light drizzle, a hard rain is not ideal for keeping my feet dry.

However, this morning the rain was perfect. It felt like Mother Nature was empathizing with me. And let me be quite honest, nothing horrible is going on in my life. No one died. No one has cancer. It's nothing life-shattering. It's just not been a good week. Personally and professionally frustrating. Things had been going so smoothly that I knew I was due, but I didn't expect it all at once.

That being said, I'm taking the afternoon off to work out, grocery shop, and lounge on the couch with Chef and the cats. No work for me. And hopefully by tomorrow's Keith Urban/ Sugarland concert, I'll be in a better state of mind. And no, I'm not a country music fan--Nashville still hasn't gotten me yet. However, when you have the opportunity to see a concert for free in a corporate suite and have cocktails with an interesting and fun group of ladies, you're a fool to pass it up. And while I'm a fool in many other ways, passing up fun is not one of those ways.

In the mean time, here are some things to help cheer me up:

• From my genius doctor friend in response to losing the contest: "Men are genetically programmed to lose more weight. It's innate. Men were hunters (need to be lean and mobile) and women were gatherers and child bearers. Chef should not be so smug--his chromosomes most likely did most of the metabolic work. "
• Chef made the most delicious steak I've ever eaten last night. Center cut filet with a beautiful wine sauce and seared to perfection. It melted in my mouth. Paired it with some red wine and McDonald's french fries. Told you I was taking a few meals off!
• Avocados. I love them. I love guacamole and if you cut up corn tortillas and bake them, they are a perfect low-cal treat for my guacamole addiction. The thought is helping me make it through the day.
• And while I'm still food-centric, despite my mood, I ran this morning and am planning to go to the gym before I go home, so I consider that a step in the right direction.
• I have two books waiting for me. One to finish and one to begin. Both of which promise hilarity in either being so bad they're funny or so funny they're funny. Either way, I win.

See? Even sad I count my blessings, so I can't be that bad, right?

And The Winner Is. . .

NOT ME!!! After weeks of exercise and watching what I ate to heathfully lose weight, I am proud to say that I'm down a total of 19 pounds. Only 15 of which counted for the Biggest Loser contest between me and Chef.

However, 15 was not enough because Chef lost 18 pounds. He beat me by a mere 1.5 pounds or so. And while I can stomach losing (barely), it's the way I lost that I'm having trouble with.

Chef was behind by more than 7 pounds last week and in his final home stretch effort to shed "weight" he pulled a move of high school wrestlers and cut water weight. In fact, he fasted for the last three days of the contest and didn't DRINK ANYTHING. If he ends up with any kind of health problems because of that, he's paying for it out of his winnings. I'm gonna be like Blue Cross Blue Shield of Farifax Avenue and DENY his claim.

I am pissed. Mostly because he did do some things that are actual healthy habits, but that weight loss didn't beat me by itself. He's started walking/ jogging lately. In fact, at the end he was walking/jogging (aka wogging) for about 5 miles at a time. Impressive from a dude that worked up a sweat walking to get the mail. And the big thing is that he quit smoking. Which is HUGE! The savings we'll have from that will (eventually) more than pay for his prize. Lastly, he stopped eating Nutty Bars three times a day and for the last couple of weeks has shown more willpower than most people I know. If only he had done that the WHOLE TIME.

However, if anyone wants to contribute to the "Ashley Should Have Won Because Chef is A Cheater" Fund, please feel free to put your check in the mail. I deserve it.

That being said. It's on to the next challenge. Working with an office buddy to hold each other accountable for getting off the last 20 pounds. But I'm going to wait until Monday to really start. Until then, Chef is cooking steak for us and I'm hitting a cocktail.

Things I'm Not Very Good At

Recently I took a personality assessment test and found out that I'm not a big fan at concentrating on my weaknesses. I knew that already in the reluctance at which I do formalized performance reviews and in throwing away recipes that I've messed up. Typically I'm already sizing up failure and opportunity during the project so I have a handle on what to repeat and what to let die. However, in honor of my annual performance review, I have started thinking about things that I'm not very good at. Here's the beginning of what could take volumes to fill:

• Letting things die a respectful death. Typically I'm like the EMS called on to the scene of a dead patient, but legally obligated to try some resuscitation methods --not matter how fruitless the attempts.
• Hula Hoop. The only Hula Hoop I can do is one the Wii because it doesn't instantly slide down my flat hips.
• Telling succinct stories in my personal life. I tend to take the listeners down, around and directly through the entire path that my train of thought traveled to get you to the answer you wanted 5 minutes before.
  
• Putting down a book I've started reading and didn't like. Once I'm in, I tend to keep reading even if I get more disgusted with the story on each passing page.
• Leaving food on my plate. If it's on there, I'm eating it. And if it's in front of me, it's most likely going to be consumed. Once the jaws have opened, they're like Pac-man. They don't like to stop unless the board is cleared or a ghost blocks their path.
• Improvising on recipes unless it's by adding copious amounts of butter, sugar and/ or cheese.
• Being self-less. About 90 percent or more of my actions are spurred forward by personal motivations. Who am I kidding? 99% is probably a closer number.
• Saying 'no' to eating out. I don't care if I'm picking a healthy option, if someone else makes it, it just tastes better.
  

That's it for now, but stayed tuned as I'm sure I'll get stuck for a blog topic that will have me revisiting any introspective lists I've made.

Meryl & Amy not just Julie & Julia

I went with my friend to see "Julie & Julia" this weekend. I had read the book and a narcissistic part of me likes the idea of a movie based on a book based on a blog. It give people like me hope.

Mostly I went because the older I get the more in love with Meryl Streep I am. When I was younger and "Bridges of Madison County" came out, I couldn't recognize the full glory of her because I was too creeped out by Clint Eastwood's squint. And it wasn't until I was in the middle of my Anne Hathaway crush movie marathon that I truly looked at what could've been a farce of a role in "The Devil Wears Prada" that the Meryl made into a masterpiece. And trust me neither Julie & Julia or The Devil Wears Prada are literary masterpieces.

So, if I ever get something published, I hope to hell that it lands in the hands of Meryl Streep and she sees enough of a glint of interest in something to want to have her fingerprints on it. Even if its just to produce it.

On another note, I watched "The Goonies" for the first time in a long time. I keep my movie ticket stubs out of habit because wherever I am I can always remember who and where I saw a particular movie at. The stubs are just a manifestation of that memory. It was while watching "The Goonies" that I could vividly remember curling up in an oversized movie seat at an old theater at Kentucky Lake with my cousins from Florida and my aunts and uncles. My family used to all gather at a rented house on the lake for an annual pilgrimage and while I remember water slides that took heavy mats to go down and riding a go kart with my grandpa, I also remember "The Goonies." It's a good memory.

Got to love the power of movies. Even when we start to forget them, the magic just creeps right back in.

In A Month With Crappy Memories, This one is a good one

Traditionally August hasn't been a banner month in my life. I've lost two people I was close to (understatement) during that month and once a month is associated with death, there's little to do to get it back.

However, 8 years ago yesterday I moved to Nashville and started at the American Heart Association. I remember the day exactly as I was hovered over in my tiny cubicle and being drilled with questions from one of my two new direct bosses. They took me out to eat at Cooker on West End (now J. Alexander's) and proceeded to pepper me with questions about my skills (except Jen actually asked me about my life).

I then went home and cried nearly every night for a month. Some because I missed my famiy, some because I missed cable TV, other nights because my dog was sick and then put down. But after all the tears, moving to Nashville has been one of the things in my life that I'm most proud of. I didn't know many people here and yet in a short time have made so many connections that it's crazy to think about. Wherever else I end up in life, I'll be happy to be have been able to call Nashville home.

Couldn't They Have Let Him Shower? He just finished mowing the lawn

I realize when your team has Sage Rosenfels and Tarvaris Jackson as their hopeful quarterbacks that landing Brett Favre is such a coup that you want to announce it on the highest mountain tops immediately, but can't you let a man shower?

Does he not look like he hopped off his lawn mower to get on a plane and announce that he's back? Maybe it's just the red hat. Or maybe it's just that he's had about 30 "will he or won't he or HE IS!" press conferences in the last couple of months that his attire no longer matters if he's holding a jersey in front of him.I was in Dallas, TX the first time Favre retired and remembered being touched by the sincerity of his tears. He won't get that emotion from me any more. The only emotion he's stirring up lately is the eye-roll inducing fed up emotion.

It's exciting for Vikings fans, but for the rest of us, can we focus on more important issues? Like the Colts o-line that has more holes than Favre's lawn mowing shoes (I'm sure he wore them to the press conference too--I just can't find a picture. Sports journalists are too caught up in drama to care about shoes)?

Hey You, I Need Some Dinner Ideas, Please...Yes, You

Okay, people, help me out here. Chef and I have been coming up with a weekly schedule of dinner for the last month or so. I have to admit, it's helping a lot. Mostly because come 5 o'clock the last thing I want to hear is "What do YOU want for dinner?". Usually by that point my brain is mush and I could care less. I want whatever will make the questions stop.

So we plan ahead on Friday, I go shopping and BAM! the dinner question is answered before I walk through the door. The only problem is that we're running into a rut. Not that I don't love baked turkey taquitos and I could eat guacomle every night, but we need to shake things up a bit. Any low-cal, low-fat dinner ideas you can throw our way?If you're a vegetarian and/or have some vegetarian dishes, that'd be cool too. Although we haven't given up meat, we've switched to turkey and chicken, and Chef's feeling a little poultry-ed out.

In exchange for your help, I can share a chicken bbq, low cal Twinkie pudding (it's not really twinkie, I just think that's what it tastes like) and the aforementioned baked turkey taquito recipe your way. Just to shake things up a bit.

Our Smart Ass T-Shirts were Better Than Theirs

As I stroll through the Kroger on Friday nights (my usual shopping trip time-easiest to get in and out), I get to observe a lot of the workings of human nature. Mostly I get to do it from afar, but occasionally I get sucked in.

Like a few weeks ago, I got hit on by several middle aged divorced men. I even got sucked into a conversation about diabetes and frozen dinners with one of my weird neighbors, who last week went back to Kroger at the same time and parked next to me.

But nothing beats the first Friday when the students come back. It's when my quiet little ghetto Kroger turns into a fashion runway for the misinformed. The Kroger is closest to Belmont which has a music business school and even with its Baptist roots, the students tend to dress like roadies and rock stars. It's a little disconcerting. Mostly I noticed the abundance of faux hawks (which I thought were out of style, but I guess I was wrong) and clever t-shirts that say things like "Analog" and try to be ironic.

Maybe it's the nostalgia washing over me, but when I look back at my college pics, I realize two things: 1) my t-shirts were much better and 2) I dressed like an idiot. My fashion mostly consisted of flannel t-shirts and men's hanes v-neck white t-shirts. I was on such a budget that I didn't care if things were flattering, I just wanted clothes. Now I'm a little more discerning.

Either way when the faux hawks start popping up, it's time to batten down the hatches. The students are coming! The students are coming!

Thirsty Thursday Musings

It's Thirsty Thursday because I'm so frickin' busy that I need a beer to get through the work day. However, instead of driving myself to drink, I've decided to blog out some thoughts and then work out. Oh, I miss the calories-be-damned cocktail binges.

• Our cat Genghis likes to sit between the shower curtain and shower liner when Chef or I are taking a shower and bite at the water droplets pelting him through the liner. I commented that I think he would like to kill water if he could figure out a plan of attack without getting wet. Here was Chef's strategy for GenghisOnly 2 weeks left in Chef and I's Biggest Loser contest. We weighed in this morning and he lost 5.3 lbs. I lost 3.1 lbs, but as of today, I'm leading. Of course, I had to start going to the gym every night for extra cardio, but I'm in it to win it!
• I got to hold a precious one day old baby this week. He was adorable and I liked holding him, but it just made me realize that my biological clock still hasn't started ticking.
• Conference calls that are just a run down of report outs are a waste of time. Have an agenda with stuff on it, people!
  

Mmmm Microwave Meals

There was a time when I would turn my nose up at the thought of eating a microwave meal for lunch. I either went out or packed something better. OR if I ate microwaved meal, I always supplemented it with crackers, cheese, dessert. Never considered that the meal itself was enough to fill me up.

And in truth, it probably isn't enough to fill me up as my stomach is a bottomless pit, but it certainly is enough food to last me until my afternoon snack (typically yogurt). For a while I cut out my prepackaged gloriousness for more protein favoring meals. That was fine for a while, but I tell you, I am now loving my meals in minutes even more than ever.

Whereas before I would stick to things in the pizza range, I've found two that satisfy my need for carbs, spice and leave me wanting more--but not gorging on other foods.

1. Healthy Choice Sweet Asian Potstickers. It's got way more carbs than it probably should, but DAMN. It's a good time.



2. Kashi's Mayan Harvest Bake. Um, sweet potatoes, plantains, black beans, polenta and kale sound like an odd combination--and they are--but they are deliciously odd.
   

Wonder what it means that my two favorite choices are vegetarian?

But I'm always the Tire Girl

I got asked to be the Nashville Start! Heart Walk team captain for our AHA office again this year. It started out as a good idea and then we had to go and up the ante. Instead of just having incentives for the top walkers and prizes and all that usual crap, we also added in a team challenge. The losing team has to wash the winning team's cars. In our parking lot. In October.

While Nashville is further south than my previously beloved home, it is not south enough to be warm in October. It's quite cold. And I'm still the shortest (at least non-pregnant shortest) team member. Why do I bring that up? Because when doing car washes for other things (namely softball team fundraisers), my height dictated that I wash the tires. I hate washing tires. I always scrape my knuckles and then get soapy water in them. It's horrendous.

So, this is where I need your help. You can do one of two things to save me from soapy, stinging, bleeding knuckles and frigid October wet t-shirt contests:

1. Donate to my Heart Walk campaign. Click here and you can do it in 2 minutes. I would greatly appreciate it. If you want to donate less than $25, feel free to email me at ashley.wrye@gmail.com and I'll send you an envelope to make it happen.
2. Join my team. Don't have money to donate? No problem. Just join my team and email your friends and family to help support the cause. Click here and click on "Join My Team" to be an official Walka Walka (that's our team name--it's an homage to my favorite comedian--Fozzie Bear).

Seriously, I can't thank you enough for helping out because I know that I have the best friends. Way better than the Walker Nashville Ranger people!

Nothing Says Tired like 4,000 kids in 3 hours

I don't think there's any amount of caffeine, energy drink or other legal or non-legal stimulants that can properly prepare you for 4,000 kids in just 3 hours. Today was the Mayor's First Day Festival at the Sommet Center which is really cool. It's free for vendors and free to attend and hands out thousands of free information and school supplies to kids before the first day of school. I love the idea of this event and in its purest form, it's spectacular.

However, in its actual form, it can be spectacular, tiring, frustrating, exhuasting, infuriating, surprising and short. The good things come from the reactions of the majority of the kids. The please and thank yous and smiles. Especially knowing that most of the kids there can use the pencil and activity sheet and information we gave away.

The bad impressions come from parents yelling at me that they have 8 kids so they need more pencils or the elementary school kid that snipped at me that he needed more than one pencil to get through the school year (I didn't realize that my supply was supposed to take 4000 kids through 180 days of math problems, English essays, and homework, but whatever) or the parent that took a handful of pencils and then when I said "one per child" refused to put any back but instead grabbed another handful AND THEN proceeded to come back two more times 30 minutes later ( I did NOT allow him any more out of spite).

The only other thing that stinks is that because of the size and number of participants at the event, vendors have to be checked in by noon. That means that even if I push it to the latest, I'm still sitting there waiting for 2 hours before doors open. It's a little much.

However, despite all that, I know that we reached a little under 4000 kids in three hours of passing out and talking. When all that energy comes your way, you try to match it for as long as you can, but there's always a wall. And I'm hitting it now. I bet I'm asleep before 9:30 tonight. Oosh.

blogging from my phone so it's gonna be short

chef and I are watching an episode of gangland on the history channel that's featuring nashville. i'm learning so much about the various gangs in town. who knew we were special because no one area of town is controlled by a particular gang? I am,however, still going to avoid certain parts of nolensville road and of course, hickory hollow mall. that's just good sense.

lost 3 pounds this week! I think it's partly because i'm in the gym every day and jogging every morning and partly because all of last week's efforts are finally registering. i'm back in the lead for the biggest loser contest and only a pound or so from my lowest weight ever! three weeks left.wish me luck.

Almost Ten Years Ago. . .

I sat in one of the three different "Media and Society" classes that I took at IU and filled a bluebook with my theories on how to eliminate "scary world syndrome." Scary World Syndrome is the theory that people think the world is more violent than it actually is because violence is portrayed on TV at a MUCH higher rate than it occurs in reality.

Back then, my theory was that people would be less likely to believe the overweight ratio if the news were more parody than real. My example was The Daily Show. Jon Stewart had just taken over which caused a spike in popularity, but nothing like it is today. My professor responded that I understood the concept, but also wrote in the margins "TV news consisting as parody for the masses? That'll be the day."

I wonder what the professor would think about this.

Random Thoughts of a Tuesday

Chef and I watched a show on Fox called "More to Love". It was exactly like The Bachelor, except the contestants were all plus sized. It made me realize a couple things. Stupid and bitchy women are stupid, no matter what their dress size. Chef had the line of the night. When the Bachelor was asked what his type was, he replied "Everyone in this room." Chef's remark "Yeah, because you all have a vagina and are actually talking to me."

Other random thoughts:

• Last night worlds collided in my dreams. In one, I was explaining to an ex-boyfriend how he could totally implement an AHA school program into his teaching lesson plan while we played basketball in the cul-de-sac from my childhood home.
• Folding machines are great when you have 2500 sheets of paper that need to be individually folded. However, they are loud and not as convenient when they start pulling multiple pieces of paper to fold at one time just for funsies.
• The week that I've started organizing and delegating is the week that the department's shared coordinator is on vacation. It was purely a coincidence.
• I have an unexplained sense of dread that is starting to cloud my disposition.

An Anniversary...of Sorts

On Saturday as I was running at 5:45 a.m. (because I was up and it was not blazing hot yet), I remembered that it was a day that meant something to me. It was August 1st. Now August is not the best month for me in terms of things to remember. It's the month that a lot of people that I love have died. It's also the month that I moved to Nashville 8 years ago (yes, it's really been 8 years).

But this particular day is an anniversary (kind of) of something good. Two years ago on August 1st, I looked at the American Heart Association's internal wellness web site and said "That doesn't look too hard." I do not know why it happened. It wasn't something that I planned or even thought other than, "I think I can do that." But for some reason, this time it stuck.

Two years ago I started losing weight. And not just a little weight. A lot of weight. In fact, if you add my set backs and big chunks, I have lost more than 100 pounds in two years. Not that I weigh tiny now, but including the times that I've gained and lost again. At my heaviest, I weighed (I cannot believe I'm going to admit this) 221 lbs. More than the majority of defensive players on the Colts. I tried to rationalize that they were built for speed and not punishment, but when you can honestly say you weigh more than a professional defensive football player. . .and you're a woman that's 5'2", it's time to make a change.

Now I'm the type of person that I used to hate. The type of person that gets up at 5:45 on a Saturday morning to go for a jog. Who'd have thunk it?

Now only 3 more pounds to go to be at my lowest weight in my adult life. What a difference a day can make.

Then

Now

Getting To Know Me...Because I'm Lazy and Arrogant

I got tagged on this and I'm feeling a little lazy today for the blog posting, so I'll take the bait. I'll let you know everything you didn't know you didn't want to know about me.

1. What time did you get up this morning? 6:05
2. How do you like your steak? Medium/ Medium Well
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
4. What is your favorite TV show? 30 Rock, watch it even in reruns
5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? Europe, probably an English speaking part
6. What did you have for breakfast? Lower Sugar Maple & Brown Sugar Oatmeal
7. What is your favorite cuisine? Mexican, probably
8. What foods do you dislike? tomatoes, cilantro, cucumber
9. Favorite Place to Eat? Depends on the day, but I always love PF Chang's
10. Favorite dressing? Kraft Fat-Free Zesty Italian because Zesty is Besty
11.What kind of vehicle do you drive? 1995 Toyota Camry named Cam Camry... still.
12. What are your favorite clothes? any of them that I describe as "my skinny" ____ (aka My skinny jeans)
13. Where would you visit if you had the chance? Europe, any part
14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? mostly half full
15. Where would you want to retire? California
16. Favorite time of day? the time that I'm in bed
17. Where were you born? Evansville, IN
18. What is your favorite sport to watch? NFL football
19. Who do you think will not tag you back? I don't answer questions that aren't about me.
20. Person you expect to tag you back first? see above.
21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this? see #19
22. Bird watcher? No, it's kinda lame.
23. Are you a morning person or a night person? Used to be night, but now I'd have to say morning.
24. Do you have any pets? Yes, see plethora of cat pictures
25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share? I'm 4 pounds awy from my lowest adult weight.
26. What did you want to be when you were little? a writer.
27. What is your best childhood memory? Going to kentucky lake with all my extended family for the summer
28. Are you a cat or dog person? Both, but I'm currently fully entrenched in felines.
29. Are you married? Not technially.
30. Always wear your seat belt? yes
31. Been in a car accident? Yes
32. Any pet peeves? lots. My current biggest annoyance are women who sit right next to your bathroom stall in a public bathroom when there are numerous empty stalls.
33. Favorite Pizza Topping? Pepperoni
34. Favorite Flower? Peony
35. Favorite ice cream? Cake batter ice cream at Maggie Moos
36. Favorite fast food restaurant? Wendy's burgers, McDonald's fries, so Qdoba.
37. How many times did you fail your driver's test? None
38. From whom did you get your last email? Alyssa Evans (work related)
39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Target or Macy's
40. Do anything spontaneous lately? No, I'm pretty boring.
41. Like your job? Overall, I love it.
42. Broccoli? Always and more.
43. What was your favorite vacation? Germany/ Italy trip
44. Last person you went out to dinner with? Chef.
45. What are you listening to right now? The sound of two hands typing.
46. What is your favorite color? Green right now, but it changes.
47. How many tattoos do you have? None.
48. How many are you tagging for this quiz? Who cares?
49. What time did you finish this quiz? 9:29 a.m.
50. Coffee Drinker? When the mood strikes me. But for now, I'll stick with my water.

It's a Beautiful Day because U2 Told Me. . . Repeatedly

Today was one of the days that I look forward to every year because it's the day that I finish a big annual project. It's partly my fault that I have to do this project, because our interim VP asked if I had the ability to do it and I was too stupid to lie.

Sure, I could coordinate all of the pictures and successes of the last year and put them into a slideshow that timed up to music. The quest is: Do I want to?

Frankly, no, I don't. However, it's amazing what you can convey in 4 minutes of musically timed Microsoft software that can take you 30-40 minutes to explain. The slideshow is useful for the board, volunteer trainings, Heart Walk kick offs and has gotten WAY more play than the first year that it was primarily ignored at a cocktail party (which pissed me off to no end).

So seeing as I'm the primary user of this slideshow and that I don't think that anyone else cares enough to do it (or if they do, they haven't had months of training at GE in the intracacies of manipulating power point for ANY thing), I do it. It takes me about a full day or more to do and now it's over. And because of it, I'll have U2's Beautiful Day stuck in my head for the next 12 months.

Things I'll never . .

As I've aged, I think I'm coming to the point in my life where I give up on the silly notions or unrealistic ideals that I had as a kid. It got me thinking this morning about things I'll never be or do. While some people say "never say never," I've decided to take a stand.

I'll never. . .

• have an ass like Beyonce. It's Kansas flatlands in my pants, but I can make the flatlands more muscularly toned.
• be the early girl. I'm nearly always on time or late, unless it's for a movie, show or something that starts regardless of my schedule.
• have the type of body where I can eat anything I want and not gain weight.
  
• be able to turn away from a Colts game. No use in trying to get my attention.
• want to live in Indiana again for a long period of my life. It is fantastic to visit and I might end up eating my words some day, but I realize that I can find a home wherever I land.
• doubt the leaping abilities of Genghis, because every time I do, he exceeds my expectations.
• be able to work in healthcare industry on the caregiving side. It's too stressful and I know my heart couldn't take it.
  

Perhaps more later, but this is enough for tonight.

Not that kind of intern

One would think that years after the Monica Lewinsky deal that interns would have a different connotation than they used to, but not so much the case. In Nashville just last week, there's still some blowback from a Republican Senator who had an affair with a 22 year old intern.

But after all that, I'm still thinking there's something good to get from an intern. I was a good interna and I loved my internship. I'm hoping to provide the same opportunity for someone else. And get a lot of things done that I don't have the time to do myself. Because despite all my good intentions, if I can't get some help for the next year, I might have a nervous breakdown. Partly because the job naturally expands each year and partly because I'm a glutton for punishment and have a need to overachieve. If anyone has any advice on dealing with interns, I'm certainly open for it.

How To Wash a Cat

When Mila started walking around with a fume cloud following behind, we knew we had to break down and give her a bath. Being a long-haired and somewhat unable to reach all her tough spots, the smell was mostly due to some poorly placed cling-ons. Once one cat is washed, the non-smelly cats seem smelly because they don't have the shampoo fresh aroma. So, claws be damned, we washed them all. Here's how to do it without losing an eye.

1. Have a partner. Someone stronger and willing to get wet. Chef was my obvious choice as he owns the cats as well and they trust him. As much as cats can trust taller life-forms.
   
2. Be quick. It takes about 2 seconds to get clawed. It takes a few weeks for the marks to completely heal. I had a bowl and two large cups filled with water, ready to douse the suspicious cat.
3. For God's sake, let go. The cats go from trying desperately to get away (Chef holds them by the back of the neck to secure them) to being bundled, or rather swaddled straight jacket style, in a towel before they realize they've moved. They get praise and cuddles quickly before we let them loose on the house.
   

The whole thing lasts between 60-120 seconds.

It's kind of like when I washed my dog Pepper, except that he could never claw me and as soon as I let him go, he would find the nearest piece of furniture to rub up against until he was dry. The cats spend the next hour licking the spikey tufts of hair down. I'm sure one or all of them will leave us a nice hair ball vomit spot tomorrow as revenge.

But for now, I'm going to pick a cat and push my nose into it's muzzle to take in the clean smell.

How Do You Motivate the Unmotivated When You're Unmotivated?

I've eaten significantly less today, but I think that has more to do with the fact that I wolfed down some chicken nuggets and fries yesterday in my feeding frenzy. Now said menu items are sitting like a rock in my stomach and making an average day's food consumption infinitely less enjoyable. Although I'm managing to choke down my favorite flavor of Yoplait Light (It's lemon cream pie for the curious or nosy).

• Chef kicked my butt hardcore in the weigh in yesterday. I knew he was going to win, but I didn't think that he would beat me so handily in one week that my other weeks worth of work are now gone. He's ahead of me in the contest by less than 0.1%. Which means it's on. Of course, I think he's been lulling me into a feeling of security all these weeks and now just turning it on. Either way, I've got to stop eating or I'm going to be out some significant duckets.
• Second, I'm trying to motivate my co-workers for our Heart Walk team. We're getting schooled by the Walker Nashville Rangers right now (our competition) and as the leader of the Walka Walkas, I don't want to end up washing our opponents cars. Plus it would be nice to hit our company goal of $20,000. No pressure though. Help me out by sending me ways to motivate our team, cash or joining us. All would be appreciated and can be done here.
• Lastly, I'm getting motivated to go to the grocery store. I do it every week, so it's not that big of a challenge, but some weeks are tougher than others to get hyped up for. Partly because the produce section of our local Kroger is not all that fabulous. Everything else in the store is great and I know if I went to the Kroger in Green Hills, I'd have my choice of nearly all produce in the world PLUS valet parking, but I just can't do it. So, I go to the Harding Road (aka Ghetto Kroger) and know that I'll never have to struggle for parking but that the green beans will always have brown spots.

Any ideas from people on how to motivate the unmotivated when you're unmotivated too would be greatly appreciated.

On Days When I Feel Like A Porker

Today I am all about eating. Not even bad things, but just an abundance. Okay, so not the whole day, but there was a synapse that must have switched this afternoon that said "eat more food for no apparent reason". I tried to ignore it, but it wouldn't go away. I fed it some sugar-free chocolate and it was moderately happy. Now all I can think about are the soggy leftover Subway sandwiches in the kitchen. Soggy and delicious, but I'm trying to resist.

• Begging will get you a new phone if you first pay your dues by spending a minimum of an hour on the phone with tech people. It's the price you have to pay for having working technology.
• Role playing is only fun in the bedroom and even there it's not always a guarantee. While it is useful in sales strategies, it's never fun and I am lucky enough to be able to opt out because I rarely have to go in for the kill (at least by myself).
• How can "I thought I replied to that" be a legitimate excuse for someone over email? We both know that if you had replied I wouldn't have asked 5 more times because although I can be annoying, I am not in 10 year old autistic child. I typically only ask once if I get a reply.
• How many stages are there on the Tour de France? I think if it's less than 50, they should just quit because nothing says sporting event like three straight weeks of "Is Lance winning? No, (insert indifferent shoulder shrug here) okay."
• I used to think it was creepy that I thought Harry Potter was cute. Now I realize that there's a difference between thinking someone is cute and feeling shame AND having mad lust and feeling pride.
• I'm certain Chef will beat me in tonight's weigh in. And I'm hoping that by tomorrow, I'll care enough to eat less chocolate.

Still Sitting On Hold for Something

Today is my day to be pissed off with technology. Or at least not to marvel at how convenient it makes my life because it's making me spend half my day on hold waiting for help. In keeping with my bite-sized random theme, here are today's nuggets:

• A technology service rep should only be allowed to put a customer on hold ONCE to ask their manager for next steps or other things to try. If they have to put you on hold more than once, you should just get a replacement for whatever device you're calling about.
• My flexible spending account for healthcare expenses is making me verify a $300 charge to a hospital to make sure it was a legit expense. Do they think I bought $300 worth of flowers and stuffed animals from the gift shop?
• I have been craving chocolate chip cookies all day. My fabulous office neighbor and friend Laura shuffled a chocolate Fiber One bar my way, but it got me thinking about my favorite chocolate chip cookies of all time. Other than the skookie Chef makes, I'd have to say that Kalamata's, a Greek restaurant here in town, makes the best chocolate chip cookies around.

Where is the best chocolate chip cookie in your world and why?

Bite-Sized Being the Operative Word

So lately the idea of sitting down and writing a long blog post has scared me into just writing nothing at all. Yet, I'll twitter all day because 140 characters is way less intimidating. So in the essence of keeping the blog going in the true spirit it was meant to have, I've decided to go with shorter, more random information in a setting.

• At work, we have these posters on the bathroom mirror that say "You are the Key" but every time I look at them, I think that I am the keymaster and then feel like Sigourney Weaver in Ghostbusters.


• This is what happens when I listen to Paris Hilton and try to pose for pictures. I couldn't even keep it long enough to have a straight face. I look lopsided.
• The squash casserole I made for Laura's baby Shower was delicious because I loaded it with butter and cheese, which to me are the staples of all great female chefs (Julia Child, Paula Deen).
• I'm the Heart Walk captain for my office team which is tasked with raising $20,000 this year and I'm feeling the pressure. So if you're reading this, you're now obligated to follow this link and either donate to my efforts or join my team and convince others to donate. Go. Now. Or I end up washing others cars in the cold October sun.

Working for Fun

Last Friday we had a fun day in the office. Meaning that we were supposed to celebrate the dawning of a new fiscal year. It's so weird to actually have a new meaning to Happy New Year. This year it was like "Happy New Year!" said with a huge sigh on the end for two meanings: 1) being truly thankful to have survived what has been a tough year for everyone and 2) having survived and still have a job.

Both of those notwithstanding, it takes a lot of effort and planning to have a "fun" day. There's the obligatory theme, the planning of the secret activity, the coordinating of the potluck, providing favors for a kick off, cooking for the potluck and then bringing all the stuff in for the activity. There were so many details going through my head on Thursday night, that you'd have thought I was planning a wedding. Alas, it was merely a potluck and a scavenger hunt.

But after all that, there's still nothing more fun than watching your co-workers run around town in cowboy hats or oversized polka dot bow ties looking for a library or a hardware store. Except maybe the pictures that came from it all.

Then I had a group of volunteers that were meeting on Saturday for a social gathering and were nice enough to ask me to go along. They also said the magic words "Dinner and wine" and POOF I was there. It was an unusual group of ladies, ones that I wouldn't have met in any other way, but it just worked. So many backgrounds coming together to share stories. I learned a lot and had fun.

Of course, none of this was particularly helpful to my overall goal of kicking Chef's butt in weight loss, but despite travelling, cheating and drinking an occasional glass of wine, I still manage to have lost a few pounds in the last couple of weeks. Not as many as I could, but it's nice to know that I can live alittle and still not blow everything that I've worked for so far. (Which is a 4% to 1% percent weight loss lead so far). Now it's time to get down to business. I'm getting buff, but it's only supporting my eating habit. Damn you, tasty foods!

When You're Young, You're Crazy

It's true. When I was between 18-20, I was a loose cannon. At least, relative to how I am now. I think we all are at that age. No matter how mature we seem to be, there's always that part of us that is a complete whack job.

Luckily for any of the guys that I had a crush on, I did not have access to a gun. Not saying that I would've used it, mostly because I had a really big fear of guns (still not a big fan), but it could've made any situation that much worse.

However, none of that excuses a girl from shooting her boyfriend and then herself. It does, however, act as warning for all those guys who see a pretty young girl and think "that looks like a good idea." Because from all outward appearances, it does. Young, naive, willing to believe a lot and usually willing to overlook flaws like being married. Girls that age also haven't been faced with the biggest learning curve of all: "You can't change people." People can change themselves, but it's best to just love as is or not at all.

But guys, no matter how appealing it looks to date a girl barely legal, it's just not worth it. It is if you, as a guy, are also young and crazy. It's not if you are nearly twice the girl's age and infintely more rich. And if you're married or in a long term relationship that would take legal action to unbind you from, take the advice that my uncle says he lives by: "There's no sex worth half my belongings." He didn't say sex and was a little more direct, but the statement is true either way. And just good advice.

Things I've Learned on My Summer Vacation

Not a vacation really. More like some time off. Well deserved, but it was more of a "use it or lose it" scenario than a calculated time off. But nonetheless in some non-consecutive and really nice mix of days and half days, I've learned some things.

• After my 10th viewing of "The Dark Knight" on HBO (I watch because I love it--oh, how I love it), I've come to the conclusion that if I were ever to be invited to a party thrown by Bruce Wayne, I'd say no. Mostly because every party he throws is interrupted by a villain and some innocent person always gets roped in to a hostage situation. It's a wonder that any respectable person in Gotham City still attends his cocktail parties.
• Alcohol in more than single doses makes even the best of diet and other restrictive measures non-existent, no matter how strong the original resolve.
• I can run. I mean, that I can actually run for logner than a block without someone chasing me with a knife. I ran first a mile, then 1.6 up a dementedly steep hill and then 2.5 miles. Without dying. Now I need to find a similarly slow running buddy to help me continue.
• It's fun to get into shape. The first wave of massive weight loss was more of a "take it off at all costs" kind of measure. This round is a "take it off and get toned up" bout. The weight seems to be coming off more slowly (probably because I have less of it to take off), but my body feels stronger than it has in years. Who knew?
• If Chef really tries to lose the weight and uses exercise (and not just his will power), he will probably kick my butt at our Biggest Loser contest. Last week he nearly doubled my weight loss for the week, but his previous indiscretions (see below) has left him at a disadvantage in the long haul. After 4 weeks, I'm at 3.9% and he's at 1.9%. I'm also down a total of 12 pounds in the 7 weeks of total trying (3 weeks without the contest). Not too shabby. And with our second round of boot camp starting on Tuesday, I'm sure to add some extra poundage to the total.
  

I've got more to learn with only one week of "use it or lose it" time left. I'm really looking forward to a long weekend and half days. I'm not looking forward to cramming at least 4 days of work into 2, but I think I can do it. Or lounge trying!

Chef's Birthday Binge

Chef's birthday was on Wednesday (he's still younger than me, but less so now and for the next 6 months which I prefer). He wanted cash and to binge on all the foods he loves. Both of which were fairly easy requests to accomplish. Primarily, I was happy to overcome my usual birthday giddiness and overcompensation. Maybe it's from years of being doted on by my mom, but I always try to go above and beyond for birthdays, be it my own or people that I love. Of course, the yin and yang of it is that I have to remember your birthday, which is sometimes a bigger problem than anything else.

But I digress, I listened to the sound wisdom of a long-time married friend who said "If he wants cash, just get him cash. No need for more or less." I did and then I also catered to his wants of the day when it came to our meals and snacks. Considering that we've been eating better for the last few weeks, I was looking forward to his birthday just as much as he was. Mostly to get some red meat, but more carbs and some cheese were also on my list of priorities. Here's a rundown of the items consumed during the course of a day:

• Chicken biscuits
• Hashbrowns
• Starbucks lattes
• donuts
• cupcakes
• cheeseburgers
• french fries
• Boursin-cheese laced mashed potatoes
• Filet mignon
• energy drinks
• whiskey
• Coke (full flavored, none of that diet stuff)
  

All said and done, Chef consumed more than 7,000 calories in one day. I didn't tip in at half of that, but it was still over my daily limit by quite a bit nonetheless. That's a lot of food. Especially when you're used to eating 5 mini-meals throughout the day. I was sick most of the night (never throwing up, but very full) and the next day I regretted my decision to eat steak. While it was certainly delicious, it was also like a brick of meat sitting in my stomach for boot camp the next night. I said more than once "I'm not eating red meat again any time soon." The meat hangover for boot camp was worse--like by at least a measure of 5--than my first day of boot camp that happened the morning after a really bad night of wine drinking.

By Thursday morning, I was happy to wake up to my bowl of oatmeal, fruit and start the day in a normal way. The meal plan doesn't seem so bad any more. Although, I'd totally be down for a bagel right now. I'm just saying.

What's Real Anymore?

Last night I watched bits and pieces of "I'm a Celebrity! Get me Out of Here" before wondering if everything in my life that's supposed to be real is actually fake. Not a "Matrix" freakout, but certainly something worth contemplating.

Like that show, for instance, which swears that no one knows what's going on and that it's the "celebrities" being real. I have a hard time believing that Spencer Pratt is that much of an out of touch asshole in real life. At least, I'd like to believe that there are few people who are so delusional that they think being on an MTV "reality" show grants them higher celebrity than Lou Diamond Phillips. I mean, come on.

Maybe I'm cynical. Maybe I'm just skeptical, but there are very few things that I feel are organic these days. Not like, all natural organic, but like happening on their own. One thing I did have pointed out to me twice on the same day (thank you Chef and Laura) was this great amazon.com review. I think it's probably real, but now that the company has seen it's orders for the shirt rise, I'm sure there's a marketing agency out there trying to replicate it with one of their products.

Not even the sugar I eat is real. It's splenda and therefore supposedly better for me, but it's still scary. I love Hungry Girl because she makes fattening foods less so, but most of her recipes don't use "real" ingredients.

What is real anymore?? Am I missing out on anything or just having a 21st century crisis of reality?

I've never noticed teeth so much before

Yesterday I worked an event at the local zoo and gave out health information. It was a very nice event. Well run, well attended, great weather, all the important things you'd want in an outdoor kids event.

But any time I work one of these things, I always get a different kind of crowd. Mostly it takes me out of my comfort zone and thrust into a crowd of people I didn't know existed in Nashville. And almost everything the vast majority are very nice. Of course, it's the few that aren't so nice that make me chuckle. for instance, at one event I had a lady tell me that she was from New York, and New Yorkers aren't fat, but that when we moved to the South, she was surrounded by "Fatty Families" that made her sick.

But the one thing that really stuck out for me yesterday was the poor dental hygiene or evidence there of for so many people. Not just the adults (and I saw some mouths that I'd only see on TV--no teeth or just nubs on a 20-something is not the norm), but I also saw a LOT of fillings on baby teeth. Like the front of the mouth baby teeth with silver rims.

I think about how the eating habits of today are effecting the waistlines of youth, but I'd never noticed the mouths. Some of the worst teeth were on kids that weren't overweight. So if the sugar is doing that kind of physical, visible damage to their enamel, it makes me wonder about their insides.

Or, more specifically, my insides. What have I pickled in my gullet?

I ran a Mile. And Strained a Hamstring. But not at the same time.

Last night at bootcamp was a night of firsts. I ran a mile for the first time in my life. I guess I'm a late bloomer. I mean, we were required to run a mile for gym class in middle school and high school, but I never ran it. Not the whole way. I would start with a light jog and when it got too much, I'd start walking. Running just enough in the end to pass the test and avoid repeats. But the test times were so ridiculously high, that some of the stronger athletes in school could probably have crab-walked the mile and still passed.

So, last night I decided to pace myself, but to not stop. That's a big thing with me. Not stopping. Sometimes it gets me in trouble when it comes to questions or arguments, but it turns out in training, it's not so bad. With the rest of the group, I ran up a giant hill and down it. And it made me happy. Not the dredge that I running usually is for me. Keep in mind that I jog every day, but it's a walk-jog alternate and therefore doesn't really count as a mile of consecutive jogging, even though I think I jog a mile total. Maybe I'll start jogging my entire route soon.

But not yet, because the other part of not stopping is that sometimes it hurts. Near the end of the training period, we were doing sprints in pairs. I wasn't buddied up, so I ran with our trainer. A former football player. Who is much faster than me in lead shoes. However, I wanted to prove that I could sprint, so I pushed it all out. Not bad for the first run, but the second sprint got me. I felt the tweak in the thigh that people dread. I hopped to the finish, but the pain sucked. I strained my hamstring. Not the painful, stop in your tracks pop of a pull, but not fun nonetheless. Despite icing, stretching, and blasts of heat, it still is tweaked today.

The one thing I can say about boot camp is that it makes going to the bathroom more of a challenge than ever before. Each week it's a different muscle that makes it hard to get off.

Yesterday was also the first official weigh in for Chef and I's Biggest Loser contest. Wish me. Only 90 days to go.

It seems quiet around here

Every year about this time, the city seems a little more quiet. Maybe it's just me, but once school is out and the college kids leave, it's like a breath of fresh air. I know if I were a mom, I'd be thinking differently, but I'm not.

You never realize how many college kids invade your favorite hangouts until their gone. Living about 3 blocks away from a campus doesn't ease the situation, but I digress. Driving through campus every morning to get to work and not having to dodge pedestrians is nice. Not being forced to confront my own age by watching frat boys roll out the Slip 'N Slide while crawfish are boiling on the porch is also a plus. I don't need a taut 20 year old in a short skirt to feel out of my element. That just happens naturally.

But after a few months of quiet, it is kind of nice when school is back in session. Even the local schools. It's like a collective exhale in May as the schools let out and then another one in August as they roll back in.

Add to that it's vacation time. Even those taking staycations (which I think has to be the word of 2009 as I never saw it in print as many times as I have in the last three months), are still out of the usual routine. The traffic is lighter and at least 10 percent of the city goes on vacation each week, so it starts to make a big impact.

For now, I'll just enjoy the quiet before the bitching about traffic begins again in the fall. Welcome summer!

A Whole Lot of Nothin'

That's what I did this weekend. And it was everything that I dreamed it could be. I watched the food network (looking for some ideas to jazz up this meal plan), caught up on all nearly all of the Law & Order episodes on the DVR (which is a miracle in its own right), played with the kitties, cleaned some of the house, and generally enjoyed having no particular place to be or go at any specific time.

One of the things I enjoyed with Chef was the downloading of Battleship for the Xbox. Board games are a good time, but board games on the Xbox are even better. Especially when I've got an equal shot at winning. I also spent some infuriating time trying to beat Schultz's score on Bejeweled on facebook. How they hell did she score 199,000 in one minute? I'm positive she had to cheat.

But mostly I tried to stay diligent as Chef played out his strategy this weekend. The first weigh in is today for our Biggest Loser Contest and he spent the weekend stuffing his face trying to gain as much weight as possible. Oddly enough, when I mentioned the contest to my brother Matt, he said that he'd be doing the same thing. Is this a guy thing? Or am I just missing the boat? I would've had a Klondike bar or two myself except that today is weigh in day at boot camp and I don't really want to go up in weight for the sake of going up.

Nonetheless, it was a wonderful Memorial day weekend. And while I did think of the veterans in my life, I also thought of the people that I've lost along the way. While they may not have died in battle, it's still a nice day to remember. And play Battleship.

The Gauntlet Has Been Thrown

Last night Chef and I made a big decision. Well, the Biggest decision. We challenged each other to the Biggest Loser between the two of us. For 90 days starting on Tuesday (and taking a one-day hiatus on June 3rd for Chef's birthday), we will try to out do each other in the weight loss department. Like the show, we'll be basing our competiton on weight loss percentages and the stakes are big. Not $250,000, kind of big, but selfishly decadent kind of big.

I think I can take him. He's a dude and therefore will probably lose weight by blinking rapidly. Plus he's done fairly well on keeping to the meal plan and I am proud of him for that. Still, I work out more than he does, so I think that's where my edge lies.

I'm going to update the blog with our weekly weigh-in information. Not the actual pounds because I'm not that bold in letting the world how much I weigh. But the percentages will be tracked each week. I wish this week counted because I lost 2.45% in the first 10 days of boot camp. I might bitch about the meal plan (and I will bitch about any meal plan that doesn't feature cheese, bread and chocolate), but it works and I'm actually feeling better.

When Will You Learn, Reality Couples??

Jon & Kate Plus 8. I admit it. I watched the show a few years back when Patrick was hoarding the front TV for his Xbox extravaganza nights. I was deeply interested in the logistics it takes to run a household of 8 kids. Especially when 6 are too young to pee on their own. It was interesting and not a little bit deterring from any accidental child-bearing of my own.

Kate didn't bother me too much because I could understand being snippy with Chef if I were trapped at home with 8 kids, even if I chose it. But as the show has gone on, it seems to have gone away from what everyone wanted to see: the logistics and love it takes to make a family of 10 happen. Plus the Gosselins started getting one-upped by larger families and their reality shows. I think the turning point for me was when both the Gosselins started cashing in on the show's popularity to get free cosmetic surgery. I'm not saying that I wouldn't do it, but I would probably be prepared for some changes. Like my husband cheating or me thinking I'm too hot.

How many times have we seen this? How many couples have to go on reality TV with a steady, normal relationship to sacrifice and watch it implode before our eyes? I know the tempation is to go ahead and try because "Surely, we're stronger and smarter than Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson." It's an easy thing to think, but let me assure, you're not. It's not how smart you are, or how long you've been together. It's television. It's fame. It's every bad thing you ever did, every stupid thing you ever said, all bundled together in neat 22 minute segments for America to judge.

You may be special enough to have cameras follow you around all the time, but you are not special enough to handle the toll that takes. No matter how smart you are.

Why is Jon wearing an IU t-shirt? I'm befuddled.

Why is Kate wearing that hair? Also befuddling.

Frankly, Scarlett, We don't give a damn. Just hand us the food.

There are some nights when you can't believe the people you meet. And that's without even leaving your home. Friday night was one of those nights. After having spent the night at Wal-Mart, Dick's Sporting Goods, Petsmart and Kroger buying Soap Scum remover, water bottles, cat food and human food, among other things, I went home exhausted and excited about starting the meal plan...on Saturday. I mean, it's just silly to start a meal plan two thirds of the way into the day, right?

So to celebrate our new begining, Chef and I went out with a Bang. Or a breadbowl to be more precise. A suprisingly delicious card-loaded (saying my last goodbyes before I'm relegated to two servings of whole grains--one of which is oatmeal) pasta-filled breadbowl from Domino's. Not normally a place that would call to us, but it totally hit the spot. What really weirded us out was the delivery woman, Scarlett. The normal food delivery transaction is fairly simple and short, hand over food, exchange for money or signature on credit card receipt, close door. This night was different.

This woman chatted Chef up while he was getting the food and then demanded to see my driver's license before she would hand over the food. (I'd put the online order on my card). I did and she stood there with the door propped open for so long that Genghis ran out of the apartment. . .while she just stood there. No effort to get out of Chef's way or concern for our animal. She then proceeded to tell me that she and her mom ran a Barber business, but her mom died a year ago. "But I still come to people's houses to cut their hair," she said. "I can come back here and cut both of yours." She then handed me her business card.

After we FINALLY got her all the information she needed to process my card (urine sample, blood draw and 10 forms of id), she opened the warmer to find that she'd only brought half our order. I was immediately irritated mostly because I knew she'd have to come back. And she did a mere 10 minutes later. Of course it took 20 minutes because Chef had to spend the time talking to her about how pissed her manager was at her.

We thought the Scarlett saga was over until we heard a third knock at the door just as we were finishing. Scarlett had lost my credit card receipt and asked if she could have the one she'd given me back so that her manager wouldn't get pissed. When I finally found it and rewrote all the info on it, she asked me if I was from Nashville. When I said no, she then proceeded to talk about how much my mom must miss me because she misses her daughter who lives in a double-wide in North Carolina. I am not adding any detail to this. She told me this at the door as I was trying to politely close it. But after a while, being polite is not an option. When she went back into telling me how much my mom must miss me, I finally just snapped.

"My mom's been dead for 9 years. Have a nice night!" and shut the door.

If you're ordering Domino's from the Belcourt location, just make sure Scarlett doesn't deliver it. It almost made me glad that I'm not going to be ordering out for a while.

Going to the Grocery and I'm Going to Get Healthy

I sent the meal plan for boot camp to Chef yesterday and he did his Chef thing. He came up with some alternatives to egg whites and tuna, some seasonings for the bland stuff and then got me excited about eating healthy. Actually, even he got excited about eating fresh foods, so we're going to try this together. Since I go to the grocery once a week (friday night because it's less busy and I usually have no life), it is the perfect time to get started.

So it's not lean proteins, fruits, vegetables, complex carbohydrates and water. The meal plan that Harold sent (trainer dude from Marathon fitness) doesn't say anything about Diet Mountain Dew or Diet Dr. Pepper, so I feel like if I get my 64 oz. of water in, then I can drink my caffeine until my heart (or pounding head) is content.

Of course, now I'm running to the bathroom every few hours because I'm peeing all the time, but it has to be better for me than The Whale. The Whale was the 54 oz. fountain drink from Exxon On The Run I was starting my mornings with. It was only $1 for any size drink, so if you're gonna go, might as well go big, right? I mean, it just makes fiscal sense to pay less than 2 cents per ounce when you can. It's revelations like these that make me know that I'm my father's daughter despite any moments when I might doubt it.

Where are the carbs at?

On Tuesday I started a boot camp with the other people in my office and I'm excited about it. I'm ready to have a little stead influence to kick my butt into shape. Even if it does leave me sore for two days and wondering if my butt can take the kicking.

And I've lost weight before. I never was able to say that until about 18 months ago when I started moving more and eating less. It was successful, but I'd still like to take some more off and make some permanent changes.

With boot camp, we were given a meal plan. I've never really had a meal plan before and I'm not so sure about this one. The two things that I'm really having trouble with are the tuna (not such a big fan of fish) and the egg whites (I gag nearly all the time that I'm around eggs of any sort). I get that I'm supposed to be eating lean protein, but the thought of choking down tuna and egg whites every day makes me a little sick to my stomach.

However, seeing this does give me some ideas for other lean proteins that I could be eating, but don't. I wonder if I can negotiate my way into some whole grain tortillas and turkey. There has to be some alternatives for this eating plan. I'm thinking I can do this, but Chef will definitely have to help out on seasoning front!

Too many bad decisions catching up with me

There are days when months and weeks worth of bad decisions seem to come to the forefront of your mind and sleeping then seems impossible. I've been having the last few weeks like this. None of my bad decisions were cataclysmic, or at least causing death or physical injury. Some cause hurt feelings and an increased waistline, but hopefully time and exercise and better decisions can help fix those.

There are times when I feel like I put work ahead of all else and start to feel exceedingly selfish. I'm not home enough. I'm not with my friends enough. I'm not writing enough. It makes me wonder if I'm hiding behind the job so as not to have to really live or if I'm just an overachieving control freak that has to do the best I can at things that are measured. If I put a goal to friendship that was measured bi-annually, would I be more likely to try and achieve than just to let it go?

And then there's the inner struggle of knowing that even if I make bad decisions, that doesn't make me a bad person. I'm still a good person that makes mistakes. And my mother always told when I was stressing out too much and losing my hair in high school (yes, I had a bald spot that time and cortisone injections helped cure), "There are few decisions in life that we can't unmake." I might eat chicken planks from Long John Silvers, but I can have a salad and try to make better choices today. I can be home in the 5 o'clock hour instead of the 7 o'clock hour. I can listen more and talk less. I can let things go. I can be a better friend. I can start today.

Fiesta Con Queso

There are just some days when cheese is all you want. And by "you" I mean those of you non-lactose intolerant people. This is the story of what happens when twitter, cheese and a good boyfriend all mix together.

I wrote yesterday that all I wanted for dinner was various forms of cheese. Chef, being loving and devoted as he is, read this and took it as his personal challenge to help me fulfill my all cheese dream. After much consideration, I had the following for dinner:

• Freshly made cheese crisps (both cheddar, mozzarella and mixed)
• Boursin Garlic & Herb with water crackers
• Hot pretzel with Spray Cheese (I'm no cheese snob-all inclusive here)
• Fondue (bought broccoli for dipping, but decided to eat the bread only)
• Mozzarella cheese sticks
• Cheesecake

We were going to order Papa John's cheese sticks, but after much debate I decided that six courses of cheese were enough to satiate me for a while. The drawback, however, is the incredible amount of chaos I have now done to my intestinal tract. Perhaps it will be all Activia and roughage all the time next week.

It was worth it though.

Take Most (but not all) of it off

My job is weird. Some days it's your everyday, 9 to 5 meetings, phone calls and emails type of gig. Other days it's working with fabulous volunteers who make you feel lucky to have contact with them. Yesterday it was a Burlesque car wash.

Groups do events with the proceeds going to us a lot. Some times the events are fun and some times they want to do more than just raise money. They want to help get the message out there. This was one such event. The group of ladies (called Music City Burlesque) does a car wash every month in the summer to raise money for different charities. They also do other events, but this was the one they asked me to.

It was a hoot. The girls were all super nice and very hard working. The crowd generated was a group that probably wouldn't have been touched by our cause in any other way. But aside from all that, it gave me a new respect for burlesque. There's a sense of body image that comes with performing that these ladies have in spades and I want.

They could care less if they weren't the best bodies in Nashville. They were just in touch with their sexuality. And it wasn't the kind of "in your face" sexuality that comes from a BritneySpears car exit either. It was a throwbackto the pin-up girl and fish net tights. High shoes at all times and long eyelashes. It truly made me want to get a little more in touch with my femininity in that way instead of that June Cleaver dresses and cardigans I normally sport.

I don't know if I'll be in a burlesque show any time soon, but I think it's got me intrigued.

It's morning and I'm getting old

A few years ago, I made it my mission to stay up to midnight every night (or nearly every night) that I could for a year. I don't know why I made this a mission. Perhaps I thought it would inspire me to use the extra time to write more or get creative. I didn't have cable at the time and wasn't a big fan of late night TV, so I ended up spending a lot of time listening the garbled dial tones of my computer connecting to the internet.

Back then it was no big deal to be online until 1 a.m. and still be fresh for work at 8:30. Now I can't even make it past 10 p.m. on most nights without Patrick waking me up on the couch for snoring. What the hell happened to me?

No body told me that getting older would mean a lessened ability to bounce back after long nights. Of course, there is the freedom of staying up without having a curfew or a roommate who brings home a dude to have sex in the bunk above you. I'm just saying.

Darkness comes after the 'Twilight'?

A few months back my friends (and there were several of you out there) persuaded me to give the 'Twilight' series a try. The aforementioned friends also got me to jump on the 'Harry Potter' bandwagon fairly early, so I was more apt to give their reading suggestions a whirl.

However, 'Twilight' is no 'Harry Potter.' It feels like it was written by a repressed Mormon. I can sense the danger in mentioning their touches, but this is 2009. Few dudes, Master Vampire or not, is going to take the chivalrous route to sex. I get that he comes from a much earlier time, but I'm still not buying what she's selling.

Aside from that, Bella is a pretty pathetic chick. She's ruled by a dude she met and fell madly in love with. She moves away from her mom and shows very little interest in her dad, other than wanting him alive and sparing him harm. Why didn't Meyer just kill the parents like most good kids books do? She's not necessarily strong or endearing and other than being the "new kid", I'm not sure anyone in Forks would've paid much attention to her. I'm not buying Edward's intrigue other than his inability to use his "powers" on her.

Look, I'm all for books that get people reading. Especially kids. So for that, I'm going to respect "Twilight." But while Harry Potter took me to a world where things were entirely different, Edward just falls flat. Instead of learning about Quidditch, we get...baseball? really!?!?! Also length is only NOT an issue if the story is constantly moving forward. Potter repeats itself a lot, but mostly following the format of repetition in kids' books. Twilight just feels like it's haphazardly put together and things made up at the end to pull the pieces together. Not interwoven into the plot.

And before people get pissed, I'll let you know that I'm into the third book. I keep trying to find that spark that makes me a fan, because I want to be if it's worthy, but I haven't yet. Perhaps book four? Until then, I'll just watch the Twilight movie. Shorter plot, less moony dialogue and Robert Pattinson (aka Cedric Diggory).

Kids Aren't Cats, Madonna

I'm actually fairly excited that Malawi stood up to Madonna. Well, so far. Why must celebrities take children from their impoverished areas and adopt them? Doesn't it make more sense to try and change the environment that produces so many children that need help?

I guess I don't get it. I mean, I understand wanting to save things. I adopted three cats under the assumption that I was providing them with a better life and saving them from certain death or inferior owners. But cats aren't kids. I know it's selfish and pompous of me to think that I'm doing better for any these cats than any other person who loves animals.

It's similarly pompous to think that it's better for a child to give them the luxuries of Western civilization than to experience their culture and community. I'm not knocking Madonna as a mother, but wouldn't it be a better opportunity to raise awareness about the plight of children in these areas. People don't feel like they can adopt every needy child. However, they can help fund organizations that do good for kids in Africa.

Let's hope that celebrities soon realize that kids aren't cats and instead of adopting, they actually work to do something to help the impoverished children everywhere.

We're Tired of You, A-Rod. Leave Us Alone

Was it not enough that we had to spend three weeks hearing about his use of steroids that now we have to endure even more?

Yes, Alex Rodriquez is a good baseball player. Okay, a great baseball player. And he has the perfect storm of playing in the largest market (New York), looking good (although I prefer Jeter), and breaking up marriages (Madonna's). But does he really need to keep fueling the fire? Is he that much of a publicity whore?

The answer is yes. After spending weeks leading up to the World Baseball Classic (where he was supposed to play for the Dominican Republic- and they could've used him), going over every emotion, lie and sideways glance A-Rod gave about steroids, we had to deal with hearing about his injured hip. It took surgery to repair and now A-Rod is convalescing. We were all supposed to be given a break. Baseball, the media, A-Rod and most importantly people who believe Albert Pujols is the true baseball icon of the era. But, no. A-Rod had to do a magazine photo spread.

In Details, he kisses himself in the mirror. Isn't that what we've all suspected all along? That as much as A-Rod loves baseball, he loves himself most of all. I know I've perpetuated the cycle by talking about it, but I'm tired of A-Rod. We need a break.

Who to cheer for or against?

For the first time in many years, I have no one to really cheer for or against in this year's NCAA basketball tournament. For those of you that know me, this is a problem.

First, I love my Hoosiers. I love them this year despite winning only one Big Ten season game and 6 games total. It was a brutal year, but the brutality came because Kelvin Sampson messed things up. Not because the recruiting was bad or the kids weren't trying as hard as they could. It stinks to suffer through a year like that, but it's not so bad when you realize that it's temporary.

Second, I hate UK. I always have. Didn't matter if it was Pitino, Tubby or Gillespie. In recent years they've had our number and that's pissed me off, but it's the overall rivalry and fact that they have two more national championships than the Hoosiers do that really gets to me.

With both IU and UK out of the tournament in the same year for the first time since I don't even know when, it has me sad. My dad always jokes that I have at least one bracket with the Hoosiers winning it all. And he's right. I usually let my fantasies get the best of me at least once tourney time. But this year, that's not event possible.

It's also not possible to pick UK as the first #1 seed to lose against a #16. Without either of those hopes, the tourney just isn't that interesting to me.

Sure, I can root for Michigan State or Purdue because they're Big Ten teams. I even like Purdue, which is contrary to many Hoosier fans' mentality, but I like rooting for Indiana teams, even if "Indiana" isn't splashed across their chests.

And I can argue that Memphis is the perennial loser who complains about not being a #1 seed, plays no one and then loses when it counts. They made it all the way to the big game last year and that's cool, but the season of blowing through Conference USA teams didn't really prepare them for close games. No where was that more evident than letting Chalmers launch the three to tie when the Tigers could've fouled and sent him to the line for two. That kind of mentality doesn't just turn on in March.

So this year, I'm going to have to be selfish. I'm going to have to root for whichever team (and I've yet to pick) that I have going to the finals. Because I have no emotion directing my picks. No sentamentality or hatred to guide my pencil. I can just pick a team I think has a good shot at winning and then cheer like hell that they win so I can collect the money. It's what Clark Kellogg does every year Ohio State doesn't make it into the tourney.

Watched My Watch During 'Watchmen'

Chef and I went to see "Watchmen" on the big screen this Tuesday. And by big screen, I mean, BIG screen. The IMAX. The last thing we saw on the IMAX was "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix", which I have watched enjoyably at least 5 times since.

However, "Watchmen" was different. I knew nothing about it going in, which is usually how I like to see movies. If I know too much expectations (one way or another) are built and I usually end up leaving disappointed. All I knew was that I'd seen "300" and "Sin City" multiple times each and while they're pretty graphic, both were also really interesting.

"Watchmen" was different. And not the good kind of different. The story lines were too drawn out and boring. They didn't at all explain why these people dressed up to fight crime and how they learned their special powers. They also didn't really explain why the public hated them so much to cause their hiding.

And then there was Billy Crudup. I hate him. I don't have a rational reason. Maybe I just hated his character in "Inventing the Abbotts" way back when and tranferred it on to him, but other than "Almost Famous," I typically avoid him. I even cringe when I hear his voice on the Mastercard Priceless commercials. But I digress.

Billy Crudup's character in this movie could by the most interesting, but he isn't. I was annoyed every time Dr. Manhattan came onto the screen. He was boring and pretentious, which are two thing you want to shy away from in a comic book movie.

The action scenes were graphic and exciting, it was visually very pretty, but overall, I was bored watching "Watchmen". It was way too long (over 2 1/2 hours) and so in love with itself that it didn't seem to need to explain or justify the characters actions than with little more than a montage. I don't know what woman on earth would be beat and nearly raped by someone, and then a few years later fall in love with them and bear their child (Silk Spectre).

There are just too many things to overlook. If it were me and I knew before I went what I know now, I would've just stayed home and watched "The Dark Knight" again.

Vetin' Ain't Easy

On Friday, Chef and I took two of our cats to the vet. Mila and Attila got their first taste of shots, Nashville style. How that would differ from the style they got them in their old hometown, I'm not quite sure, but I like the sound of it better.

The thing about the vet is that we try to hide our cat mania to a certain extent. We don't tend to gush too much or elaborate about their personalities, but instead come prepared with intelligent questions. This time went much better than the last time, that's for sure.

The last time we visited the vet, we got a vet who we were told loved cats. Being that Genghis is a Pixie Bob and polydactyl, he tends to get a lot of attention. We had come in for shots and decided against getting one of them. When I was explaining our position to the vet, she was appalled that we would rather take our advice from many testimonials than her veterinary education and year or so of practice. I told her that I would take her advice if she did a little research on our breed of cat before making a recommendation, but that just pissed her off more. It was a showdown the likes of which I'm sure will be repeated in doctor's offices for our future children. Needless to say, we have a different vet within the same clinic now.

The cats are healthy and thriving. And we got a solution that seems to be working for Mila's poop problem. Nothing says love like clenaing up piles of turds from carpet. At least the carpet is brown too.

Rush, both a name and a feeling

I'm tired of Rush Limbaugh. Sick of him and his big bloated carcass. Sick of having the bile come up from my stomach and reach the back of my tongue every time I hear his voice.

Look, Rush is in it for the money. If he actually believed a lot of what he was spewing, he would be married to his first (not third) wife, and would have the discipline of a monk. Instead he's failed at marriage, failed at sobriety and taking it out on others.

Everyone has a right to say what they want. That's what's so great about this country. But what sucks is that we falsely believe that the loudest voice wins. Rush is trying to be the loudest voice. Would he have ever called for a debate with George W. Bush when he was president? Hell, no. Even though Republicans (and notice that I didn't say conservatives) hated a lot of Bush's policies (especially when it came to fiscal responsibility) too.

Is it the Republican's new strategy to send a big blowhard to throw stones and then look like they're not so bad comparatively? I'm not getting it. Neither are Americans.

One party, one decision, one bill, did not get us into this mess. One party, one decision, one bill is not going to get us out of it.

Can We Go Back to Previously Written Programming Now?

Last night I was watching The Biggest Loser, as I'm apt to do on Tuesday nights, and was highly disappointed. While I like the show and am enthralled, I'm also pissed off about it.

First, it is nearly always two hours long. It doesn't need to be. The weigh ins alone take 30 minutes which seems reasonable when you have like 20 people, but ridiculous when it's down to 10. Cut some of Bob's jaw dropping and Jillian's smirking head shaking and let's just get to it.

I know the show likes to think of itself as changing humanity by showing a bunch of people losing weight, but it's just a TV show. Many of the previous contestants have gained the weight back, so it's not any more important or impacting as Weight Watchers. Just more public and with money on the line.

But aside from all of my gripes, what I was mostly thinking was: Is reality TV finally starting to wane? "Survivor" is blah, "American Idol" is predictable and despite my previous rabid fandom, I have yet to see an episode of this season's "Amazing Race".

The thing that made that type of show so profitable for networks is the same thing that is eventually going to get them: no writing. Well, let me take that back. We know that the shows are written, but no creative content is involved. So with that comes the ability to work around a writers strike, crank out material with "protagonists" that are free and to do it on a 3 month life cycle. Sometimes less.

But it wasn't until I cursed "30 Rock" for being a repeat or said "Damn you, Scrubs! we've only had 6 episodes!" that I realized what was happening. The economics of it all were coming into play in a different way. Sure, The Biggest Loser is never a rerun, but really the whole show is one big rerun. The only thing different from one week to the next is who got kicked off (unless it's a stupid stunt week where they cut off who will be kicked off until the next week which just pisses me off more--Yes, Biggest Loser, I'm talking to you). When I tune into "The Office," I don't know what's going to happen from one week to the next. That's why I love it.

It's the writing. We knew it was important, but now it's even more important. Because while reality shows will always have a place on cable, where huge audiences are expected and shoe string budgets USED to reign true, they don't need to be so prevalent on networks. When they have been, cable stations stepped up and created well written shows that got noticed. Now the networks are scrambling to catch up.

So the next time there's a writers strike, don't watch any reality TV either. Let's show the networks that writing is important.

Today I learned about Cows

Yes, that's right. Today I did some research on cows. My friend asked me to do some writing for a project of his and I said yes. Because I was flattered and because I need a deadline to get real writing done. Not that blogging isn't real, but I only had 6 entries last month. I'll do better this month, I promise.

Anyway, back to cows. I expected to learn a little about them, but I actually learned a lot and in the process realized that if we all learned a little more about cows, we might not treat them as badly as we do. But anyway, one of the things I learned was the difference between different types of cattle. Yes, I know the difference between a bull and a cow, but did you know that an ox is a castrated male used for its power? Or that a heifer is a female that hasn't had a calf. Cows only refer to females that have had a calf and bulls are all males. Steer are castrated males that we use for beef. I think they're all used for leather, but I didn't get the far in my research.

I've read Fast Food Nation, so I know how shitty we treat cows for fast food purposes, but it was interesting to be a little more cow-knowledgeable. Like the auroch was the first type of domesticated cattle AND the first species of animal to become extinct. The dodo bird was the second and yet it gets all the glory.

Anway, enough about cows for now. Next I'm on to relationships. I'll be the latest and greatest Dr. Laura Schlessinger. Except less bitchy and with more understanding.