Coming To The Jesus Phone

Chef and I had a come to jesus moment this week. Although instead of it being Christ, Jesus was in the form of the iPhone. AKA the Jesus Phone.

It all started about two weeks ago in Fort Walton Beach, FL. We were there for a brief stop as Patrick's Grammie had passed away. I have to take a moment and say how truly awesome Grammie was. She literally opened her arms to me the first time I walked through the door and was one of the best pen pals I ever had. I also know she was a fantastic mother and grandmother that is sorely missed.

Anyway, while in Florida my work cell started freaking out on me. . . again. So I was relying on my personal cell phone which was literally the smallest, cheapest flip phone Verizon had to offer. I still contend that no one was meant to text 26 letters with the use of only 9 keys. It's against nature. It also made the texting experience suck and I began to realize just how useless my personal cell was.

The trouble with the work cell continued and finally culminated in the cell phone crashing while I was in Evansville this past weekend for the annual Komen Walk. It was a great day where I got to see some of my cousins and aunts, and of course had a very memorable day with my stepdad Jack and his fiance Sara. It's always a great experience and would've been perfect except that literally all my contacts, email and other relevant information was gone from my work cell. It's super awkard when someone texts you and you don't have any contacts so you know it's from Indiana and you assume it's a family member, but really you're flying in the dark.

So after two days with a personal phone that didn't work and a work cell that was going nuts for the 5th time, I decided that I couldn't wait 6 more months to upgrade my phone. Chef did the research and it was easy enough for us to switch over to AT&T (who thankfully have dropped Luke Wilson as their spokesperson--at least for now) and get iPhones. We both really hate lining Steve Jobs's pockets, but really like being able to communicate without punching 100 keys to spell two words.

So, two weeks and we've had two trips to our hometowns--both in remembrance of someone. And iPhones. Now you're caught up.

Brown Hair, Sad Shopping and a Trip To Fort Walton Beach

It's been a roller coaster couple of days here. We found out Sunday afternoon that Chef's grandma (aka Grammie) passed away that morning. Grammie had been battling a brain tumor and various other related ailments since May. But those of you who've lost someone know that it doesn't really matter if you know for a day or 100 days that someone is going to pass away (I mean, we all are on the clock on that one so to speak), it sucks no matter when it happens. There's really no such thing as "being prepared" for someone to die. At least emotionally.

But I digress. Grammie was a wonderful, honest, insightful woman and I'm sad that I only got to know her for a short time. And I'm really sad that Chef has to go to Fort Walton Beach for that reason and not some happier occasion.

We are heading out tomorrow for funeral and showing. Of course it didn't dawn on us until after the shock set in that Chef has absolutely nothing to wear. I mean, his name is "Chef'" for now and he has things suitable for a Chef to be wearing. When he's officially "Legal Eagle" in the future, I'm positive the nice clothes won't give us a second thought, but until then. Well, let's just say that a trip to the mall was in order. He successfully purchased dress slacks (I love the word slacks in the right context--in the wrong context it just sounds very 1980s), a gray dress shirt, a tie, socks, a belt and shoes. Seriously, I felt bad that I've been ignoring his cries for clothing as it was pretty obvious which of us is neglected.

The mall trip was my second as the first trip was made a few hours earlier. I had the afternoon off to celebrate our office's success while some of my co-workers were celebrating at an official gathering in Atlanta. (I have to say that I think I may have come out ahead on this one. . . ). While sometimes it may seem like my changes are random, know that I have usually spent at least a couple of hours internalizing and researching them before I actually pull the trigger.

So yesterday I pulled the trigger and became a brunette. Really brunette. Anne Hathaway was my celebrity color trigger. Her and that girl from Twilight Ashley Greene. I actually like it. It makes me eyes stand out a little more. I probably won't keep it forever, but it's fun to do something different. Pictures will be posted when I have a picture that looks decent and not hideous.

My New Favorite Things To Watch

Clearly football is it, but not today's Colts game. It looked like they were a little rusty still from the off season. At least the defense definitely was.

But I digress. This week I found two new things that make me laugh: MacGruber and United States of Tara. Chef introduced me to MacGruber--the movie, not the crappy SNL skit. In fact, it was the skit that made me super leery to watch the movie. But honestly, it made me laugh out loud several times. One particular time that involved gobbling over a throatless body. It was way funnier than the last line indicates.

And one a whim I asked Chef to hook us up with United States of Tara. We watched an episode and it was pretty good. Toni Collette is pretty damn talented. You forget that she's Australian because he accents are so damn good. I was a little worried that it would be too kitschy because of the dissociative identity disorder angle, but actually it's just a good family drama. I hate the idea of liking a writer who took the pen name, Diablo, but I actually like most of what Diablo Cody writes. She's helping fill the void in my heart after Amy Sherman-Palladino quit writing Gilmore Girls.

The only other show I've watched lately that gives me the same kind of "I wish I had written that" moments is "The Big C" On HBO with Laura Linney. Its about woman who finds out she has terminal cancer and then decides not to tell anybody--not her husband, not her teenage son, and not even her homeless brother. It's sadly funny. And touching. And clearly has a special place in my heart because of my mom's struggles with cancer.

Speaking of struggles and cancer, the damn disease took another wonderful person today. Chef's Grammie lost her months long battle. She was a wonderful lady who was a great pen pal to me. I'll cherish the letters we exchanged and the influence she had in molding the man that I love. We'll be heading down south to Florida to the funeral in the next day or so when we know the plan. She was well loved and taken care of by her children. She'll be missed.

No Blood, No Foul

Chef showed me this video the other day and I had two thoughts:

1) I didn't know that Amazing Race had started again this season (it hasn't).

2) There was no blood or broken bones visible, so the girl is probably fine. In fact, I immediately thought of my friend Amanda's Dad's saying that he busted out in times of injury: "Walk it off." ( for the record, my dad's saying is "One thing you know is that you never know.")

Chef said he was debating on showing me this video until he heard the girl who didn't get hit say "They don't call it the Amazing Race for nothing." That sealed the deal for him. Check it out:

Only a few more nights of crappy TV

Seriously. Is anyone else tired of this crappy TV? I mean, Sunday and Monday nights aren't too bad because we have Mad Men, Entourage, True Blood, Weeds and The Big C (which is my new favorite). There are a couple things that suck: 1) That's only two nights in a week and 2) they were all on hiatus except Mad Men because of Labor Day.

So, the launch of college football season helped to satisfy my need for new programming a little. Plus the Hoosiers won big, so YAY. And really, the NFL season kicks off on Thursday, so there's only one more night of crap-filled "Kate Plus 8" and "South Park" reruns. Unfortunately, I have a work thing so I'll miss the official Kick off of the New Orleans-Vikings game. And the crap thing is that the Titans play at the same time as the Colts, so no Indy game this week. I'm relegated to NFL.com recaps. I need the NFL Network's Red Zone channel.

And the beginning of the NFL season also brings the return of Chef and my's favorite new show: The League. It's hilarious. If you haven't seen it--even if you aren't a fantasy football fan--it's well worth it. Also, the new fall season kicks off, so the rest of my stories will begin. What should I get to replace Lost?

A Blast From My Family's Past

Today I drove to Murray, Ky. Never been there before--actually, at least in my memory. Today as I was at a cemetery,I actually did remember being there, but I digress. If there hadn't been a Murray, Ky, there wouldn't have been me. It's where my family is from. I'm actually pretty lucky in that I've been to most all the towns that my grandparents and great grandparents have come from. It's pretty cool.

But today was really neat because I met my Dad, Robin and Grandma Wrye in Murray to take the tour. My dad went to school there. I'd actually been to my mother's college (she went to an all-girls catholic university that she sent me to summer camp at when I was 8). But I got to see Murray State, a school that I had rejected before it was even proffered. In my defense, I had rejected my mother's college even before she sent me there to be locked in a room with a piano and a nun during a particularly nice summer.

I got to see the land where my great grandma had lived, the house she designed later in life, the bones of the store that my great grandpa had started, and the grave of my dad's namesake (and my great-uncle who died at 22 years old in service over seas). It was pretty cool to listen to my grandma and dad as memories washed over them. It made me wonder what landmarks in my life that I'd want to revisit and point out to my potential offspring. An even smaller part of my ego wonders which house I've lived in that they'll make a historic landmark of when I become a widely famous author that is only partly adored in my own time and by those lucky few who were avid readers of my blog--still reading?

Anyway, it was a great day and I had a great time learning about those who came before me. Now to spend the evening in the loving company of Chef and the awesome Chili he's been working on for quite a few hours now.

It's On. . .Again

I feel like I do this every few months or even days, but it's back on again. What's "it"? The diet. Lifestyle change. Eating Better. Whatever euphemism you want to use for counting calories is what "it" is.

For me, I haven't done "it" in several months. Maybe truly a whole year. The good news is that I've continued exercising. So I haven't gained all the weight back. I'm just starting to look crappy in my clothes. Or even if I don't look crappy, I feel like I look crappy and that makes all the difference. Plus my closet is only half relevant because the other half of my clothes are too tight for me to be comfortable in.

And here's the thing. Or two things rather. 1) When you've been really overweight, okay, obese, and you lose a lot of weight, people think that as long as you haven't gained all the weight back, you're coming out ahead. While it's nice to have that cushion, I know that not going all the way back to that weight (well over 200 pounds) is not an option. 2) People are very polite when it comes to weight. At least to your face. It's the like the last taboo of society so it's not common to talk negatively about someone else's weight. Let me give you an example: "I've gained 10 pounds. I feel gross."

"I haven't even noticed. You shouldn't worry about it."

That's the conversation that millions of people have every day because we know if we were the one that says we've gained weight, we're really hoping no one else has noticed. And if they have, we hope they are polite enough not to say anything.

So, it's back to portion control, striving for five fruits and vegetables, and making better choices. Wish me luck again.