Thursday, September 26, 2013

"Is this Diet?": My Eternal Struggle

I knew the water was "diet," but
the fountain drink? Argh.
I have an addiction. On the scale of all addictions, it's on the lower end, but it's mine and therefore it clearly matters to me.

My name is Ashley and I'm addicted to cola products.

For those of you who actually know me, this is not a surprise at all. I am rarely at a meal without bubbles tickling my nose. I say "cola products" or "frosty carbonated beverages" but my tastes are fairly consistent. I prefer the diet variety. Diet Dr. Pepper, Coke Zero, Diet Coke, Diet Mountain Dew, all are acceptable. I have my preferences, but in a pinch, I'll even drink a Diet Pepsi. Usually with a sneer after I've had the following conversation with a waiter or waitress.

Me: I'll have a Diet Coke.

Waiter/waitress: We serve Pepsi products. Is that okay?

Me: Not really. Do you have Diet Mountain Dew?

Waiter/waitress: No. We have Diet Pepsi.

Me: Ugh. Fine. Okay. I'll take it.

And I drink it nonetheless. Don't think that my cola consumption is exclusive. Frankly, I'm just a regularly thirsty girl. The hypochondriac in me will wonder if I've got diabetes, but then I get my blood sugar taken and I don't. I even make a deal with myself that I can't have a cola until I've had at least 32 oz of water in the morning. This usually happens. Less so on the weekends.

All this to get say that I'm fairly attuned to the taste of colas and I got one today from the McDonald's across from work. McDonald's fountain drinks are the best. They're like the absolutely best way to drink a soda. I'd say that even if they weren't a client. In fact, I think I have. Anyway, a few sips in and I'm starting to panic "Is this diet?". I don't drink calories unless it's a spinach smoothie, so this is really gripping me.

Of course, it's either go without or down the drink that may or may not be diet, so I did what any addict would do: drank the thing and lived in denial.

Friday, September 20, 2013

I Was Moved to Tears, but It Was Probably Hormones

An actual scene from Grand Theft Auto 5-- do bikes count?
You know how things that are supposed to move you to tears or emotion don't and then you feel like you have a heart of stone? That happens to me a lot.

But then sometimes a story that is sad but maybe not earth-shattering just tears me to pieces. That happened to me last night. I was scrolling through my Facebook feed and ran across a Gawker story about a mentally-challenged 21 year old from Florida who had been robbed. That sucks what really got me was that he was robbed of Grand Theft Auto 5, the newest, hottest version of the video game, moments after he went to pick up from the store where he had placed a pre-order and been paying it off in weekly installments of $10 or $20. He had just left the store when a couple asked him for the time and then beat him up to take the game.

It's a sad story, yes, but why it brought tears to my eyes, I can't really explain. I just imagined myself as a kid working hard and saving my allowance to get something and then having someone beat me up for it before I could enjoy it. The couple who robbed the man was arrested, but they had already sold the stolen game. Last night, I just wanted to buy the guy the damn video game, and hoped the Internet would make it right.

I'm happy to say today that the victim has gotten a copy. Hopefully he got it home safely.

Saturday, September 14, 2013

My Blog Wouldn't Be The Same Without Poop-related Posts

Those of you who really know and love me, know that I have a long history with poop. In just about every sense of the word possible. In that light, my friend Meredith sent me this video and  had to post it. 

It was my duty. 

You're welcome. 

Friday, September 13, 2013

I Went to San Diego and Came back With Photos...and Allergies

There's something about clean, ocean air that doesn't agree with me because I was in San Diego for three days, two nights (on a work-related trip that included some delicious food) and by day three was so clogged that I was begging for the ability to breathe.

Two days after being back and I'm still draining, which is as lovely as it sounds. The one bonus is that my body is exhausted so I'm going to bed before 10 p.m. and skipping my morning run for more sleep. At least it's Friday.

In case you needed proof that I'm alive since I've been ignoring this blog for two weeks, here are the best things that I brought back from San Diego:

This was the view of a little cove next to the restaurant where we had some of the best shrimp and bananas foster cake I've ever had in my life. What's not captured is the loud moaning of seals in the cave that echoed out. 

If you look closely on the rock, you can spot three seals. Do you see them?

My favorite picture. It was a pretty sunset and the wine was good. Sometimes I forget that I live here.
This is a great reminder. 


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