Thursday, September 26, 2013

"Is this Diet?": My Eternal Struggle

I knew the water was "diet," but
the fountain drink? Argh.
I have an addiction. On the scale of all addictions, it's on the lower end, but it's mine and therefore it clearly matters to me.

My name is Ashley and I'm addicted to cola products.

For those of you who actually know me, this is not a surprise at all. I am rarely at a meal without bubbles tickling my nose. I say "cola products" or "frosty carbonated beverages" but my tastes are fairly consistent. I prefer the diet variety. Diet Dr. Pepper, Coke Zero, Diet Coke, Diet Mountain Dew, all are acceptable. I have my preferences, but in a pinch, I'll even drink a Diet Pepsi. Usually with a sneer after I've had the following conversation with a waiter or waitress.

Me: I'll have a Diet Coke.

Waiter/waitress: We serve Pepsi products. Is that okay?

Me: Not really. Do you have Diet Mountain Dew?

Waiter/waitress: No. We have Diet Pepsi.

Me: Ugh. Fine. Okay. I'll take it.

And I drink it nonetheless. Don't think that my cola consumption is exclusive. Frankly, I'm just a regularly thirsty girl. The hypochondriac in me will wonder if I've got diabetes, but then I get my blood sugar taken and I don't. I even make a deal with myself that I can't have a cola until I've had at least 32 oz of water in the morning. This usually happens. Less so on the weekends.

All this to get say that I'm fairly attuned to the taste of colas and I got one today from the McDonald's across from work. McDonald's fountain drinks are the best. They're like the absolutely best way to drink a soda. I'd say that even if they weren't a client. In fact, I think I have. Anyway, a few sips in and I'm starting to panic "Is this diet?". I don't drink calories unless it's a spinach smoothie, so this is really gripping me.

Of course, it's either go without or down the drink that may or may not be diet, so I did what any addict would do: drank the thing and lived in denial.

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