If it looks like a Tiger, Walks like a Tiger, It's probably hiding something.

I'm not one for jumping on the rumor mill bandwagon, but I have to say that Tiger Woods and his wife Elin are acting a little funny. The whole car accident is a little fishy in the first place. Here are a bunch of random questions that I'd like to ask the pair. Of course, they aren't taking questions now. They were going to answer police questions the day after the crash. Then it was Sunday. Then it was "this is a private matter." My questions are abundant no matter when or if they get answered:

Like, what were you doing that you were in such a hurry that you got into an accident at the end of the driveway? And one that left you with facial lacerations?

And why were you in such a hurry at 2:30 a.m.? I firmly believe that nothing good happens outside the home after midnight. It's just the law of averages.

Let's just say that you had to have your wife bust out the back window of you SUV to drag you out. How did you get the lacerations on your face if the car wasn't going fast enough to deploy airbags?

All of these things add up to a lot of speculation. None of the speculation is any good. In fact, Tiger and Elin made a statement about it. But what it comes down to is that in the end, despite legendary talent, Tiger will end up disappointing us because he's just a man. And we prefer our legends to be more than that.

Frodo or Peter Parker? Who would you choose?

Chef and I were watching a preview for that new movie Brothers when I said "That's a pretty easy choice. If it's between Tobey Maguire and Jake Gyllenhaal, there's no contest. Jake Gyllenhaal." It was at that moment when Chef asked a question that spawned a different debate.

"What if it were between Tobey Maguire and Elijah Wood?," he asked.

Wow. That's a hard question. On the one hand both are short, decidedly feminine and frail looking guys. On the other hand, both are relatively good actors. And lastly, one played a hobbit and the other played Spiderman. Of course then Chef through out "Well, Spiderman is really Peter Parker. He's not so great."

All of which were good points. Elijah played a really creepy cannibal in Sin City. Tobey played a lying wimp who shot a dog in Wonder Boys.

At this point, I'm going back to my original statement. I choose Jake Gyllenhaal.

Can you Gain 85 pounds back in one week?

No? You can't gain it all back in one week? Maybe it just feels like it. I've chowed down with the best of them. Not just because of Thanksgiving, but I've had the whole week off which has not only given me more time to eat and cook, but also go out too.

Few people know that I cook, to be honest. I'm not what one would typically describe as a domestic type of girl. I'm not much on interior design (other than watching "Clean House"). I don't really sew except to put back on the occasional button or mend a rip (although in my head I give the contestants of "Project Runway" a run for their money). But cooking is something that I can do.

It mostly started for two reasons: 1) Chef refused to cook for me every day as he needed some days off. In the beginning I was scared to cook for someone so skilled, but I have since gotten over it. and 2) When I was concentrating hardcore on losing weight, I was manic about controlling what was going into my mouth. Makes it a lot easier when you cook what goes into your mouth.

This year I ended up cooking more for Thanksgiving than I had anticipated. I started off baking a coffee cake on Wednesday and from there, it just snowballed. By the end of Wednesday, I'd cooked macaroni and cheese, corn casserole, sweet potatoes and pumpkin pie. By Thursday, I left the cooking to Chef. He made a delicious fillet, wine reduction, roasted potatoes, salad and rolls. They were all frickin' delicious. And of course, we've been eating off the leftover stuff for days. I'm determined to have it all gone (eaten or thrown away) by Monday. Monday's when I start back on the watching and documenting what I eat. Again. Before I really do gain all the weight back.

Happy Fillet Day?

It has a different kind of ring to it, but this year for Thanksgiving Chef and I have decided to forgo turkey and opt instead for steak. The two of us have some variation of turkey 3 to 5 times a week so having a big juicy turkey on Thursday, doesn't seem as appetizing as cutting into a perfectly cooked steak.

We're still planning on having some of the traditional Thanksgiving sides, like potatoes, sweet potatoes, pumpkin pie and the like, but just subbing out the main dish. Last year I spend all day cooking homemade versions of our favorites to varying degrees of success. This year I'm only spending time on the potatoes. They're my favorite anyway.

Before we get to the big fillet day, I've got some work to do. I've got to finish moving my office, hitting boot camp and a little grocery shopping the next few days. However, our office is closed this week, so my concentration will be split between all of the above and relaxing. It's a good place to be.

Bacon Sounded Better In Theory

I'm a big fan of bacon. There are few food items that are non-carb that I love more. Perhaps avocado. If a sandwich has bacon and avocado on it, watch out. Much like the creators of BaconSalt, I see few flaws in slabs of pork fat. I'll even dig into the turkey version.

However, last night after my first cocktail at The Patterson House, I dug into a Bacon Old fashioned. It was a ballsy move to order a bacon-infused whiskey with some maple and pecan flavored bitters, but I went for it. It was better in theory and kitsch than in actual practice. The initial gulp was pure smoky bacon--which is better chewed than swallowed. The aftertaste was sweeter than the first pull, so it was actually better the more time after the swallow you allowed.

I post these as a warning to my other bacon loving friends, including Wendee who is like me so much so that I know it she wasn't preggers right now she'd have ordered a bacon cocktail too. I will say, though, that if you're in Nashville, The Patterson House is a pretty cool place. Exclusively a cocktail bar, they serve freshly mixed drinks with homemade syrups, bitter and other concoctions. My first drink, the Dark & Stormy, was super delicious and potent with fresh made ginger syrup. I plan on going back with Chef and then Greg again and then taking some of my cocktail loving friends and family when they come in town.

Okay, enough midday procrastination. It's back to moving my office again. . .

Point of No Sleep Returns

Hello, my name is Ashley and I'm addicted to football. It didn't used to be this bad, but with the access to technology and living in SEC country, my addiction has only increased. I can't go a Saturday or Sunday without checking scores or how my fantasy football team is doing. I know more about the injuries to Colts players than their own doctors. It really is an illness that only provides me with anticipation, angst, elation, mood swings, bitterness, happiness, skepticism, joy and utter despair.

And now it's costing me sleep. Something that I value more than nearly anything else. Last night I stayed up to watch the Colts game, which in of itself would put me to sleep that much later than any other night. However, when the Colts make it an exciting game, which nearly every one against the Patriots is, it makes it difficult to wind down. Getting your hands to stop shaking when you've been rocking back and forth like a heroin addict as to not yell or clap or scream to wake your boyfriend is not an easy task. You can't just summon the heady spike of adrenaline and then expect it to leave quickly. It's like Beetlejuice or an in-law's visit.

So because I'm an addict and I watch it, I end up getting so excited that I can't sleep, even when I want to. I knew that going in. And then Chef worked early this morning so I ended up stirring to his morning routine at about 4 a.m. And tossed and turned all night. And now I should be laying my pretty little head against a pillow, but I'm still out here, typing on the computer and watching Monday Night Football. And it's Cleveland vs. Baltimore, so that has to give you some scope of my addiction.

I guess the good news is that there's no football on until Thursday night. And basketball season has started.

Awkward Public Moments

Last night I went to a Predators game with my dad. It was a great night with dinner and conversation and just fun hanging out with my dad. We went to the Preds game and before we could get in, there was a group of people and a camera crew. Seeing as it's Nashville, it's not that unusual to see. In fact, most people were nonplussed, we just were trying to figure out who the crew was for.

At first, I thought it was Bill Frist. Then I saw a plethora of long curly hair on girls of all ages and realized that it was the Duggar Family from "18 Kids and Counting."It quite literally held up the line.

But that wasn't the awkward moment. The awkward moment came after the first period when we were sitting in a Club level suite with about 10 other strangers and a few people I knew. The announcements came on the jumbotron and the first one was a marriage proposal. I was sitting there thinking and nearly saying aloud "I love sports and all, but I'd be a little pissed if Chef pulled that."

A few seconds later there was a commotion behind us in the suite area. I thought it was someone bringing out a cake for a birthday celebration, but instead it was a middle-aged dude on his knee with a ring. The people around them were obviously friends and they were joyous. The woman getting proposed to. . .not so much. In fact, my dad overheard the guy say "Will you at least let me put the ring on your finger? Either way, I bought it for you and it's yours. "

Public proposals are a risky business. The stadium proposal is not as bad, unless you have cameras on you (this couple did not). But why you would perpetrate a public proposal without having a certain answer, is beyond me. I had a friend whose now-husband publicly proposed is an infinitely more creative way--but he was smart enough to she would say yes before doing it. It was my first witnessed public proposal. And a very awkward moment.

Do People Not Understand They Can't Really Control Publicity??

Look I don't agree with Carrie Prejean's political and/or moral views. (For those of you who need a refresher, shes' the beauty queen who was nationally lampooned for her opposition to gay marriage). But like someone who tries to stay consistent, I can't be for freedom of speech and then want to shut up someone that I don't agree with. It's not how freedom works. You can't go half-way.

What I don't get is someone who uses a major aspect of freedom of speech (the free press) to express her viewpoint (and hawk a book), but won't be subjected to the questions asked. Prejean appeared on Larry King Live recently and called him innappropriate for asking about why she decided to settle her lawsuit against the pageant officials. Her original claim was that they impeded her religious freedoms.

Larry King offends me in many other ways (his suspenders, his frog-like face, his penchant for blondes) but asking why Prejean chose to settle when the basis for her fight was so dear to her did not seem "inappropriate." In fact, it seemed logical.

So here's my beef: You can't get beat up by the media, use it to defend yourself and then not expect to have to defend yourself. It's like a verbal boxing match--you don't get hit once, take a few swings back and then throw your hands up in victory. That's not how the media works. At least an intelligent media.

Freedom is not doled out on the cafeteria line where you can choose to forgo the jello and only eat fruit. It's all or nothing.

I choose all.

At Least I Haven't Pigged Out That Much

I've been riding a pretty hard guilt train the last two weeks because although I've still gotten in my morning runs, I haven't been to the gym. It's not because I don't want to. It's simply because I have either had a meeting run into boot camp time, had an emergency editing session run over or had an event. I'm honestly still learning the details of my new position, establishing my systems and reacting to the most urgent stuff first. But despite what might seem like good excuses, they aren't. And whenever I'm not busting my butt hardcore at least twice a week, I feel like I can eat more because it doesn't feel like a sacrifice to ruin my calories over a 20 minute morning run.

Despite my gorging and lack of sustained exercise, I have not been tempted by the Burger King promotion with Microsoft in Japan. Yes, Microsoft. They launched the Windows 7 Whopper that has SEVEN meat patties. It was supposed to run for 7 days (naturally) but was such a success for Burger King in the Japanese market that they extended it. So if you're one of the first 30 people to order it, you get a steal at 777 yen (about $9). After that, it goes up to about $16. And it only costs you 2,120 calories plus a down payment for your future angioplasty.

There are many videos of people conquering the Windows 7 Whopper, but my favorite is this one from a guy who had the local Burger King make one because he couldn't afford to fly to Japan.

He had it his way and then his colon had its way with him.

An Open Letter to the NFL

Dear NFL (and all related broadcasters),
I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. I think you did some additional marketing research or something this year, but I choose to believe this was something done on purpose and not a random act.

I want to thank you because I am an Indianapolis Colts fan. However, I live in Nashville, TN. So, naturally there is a disconnect between what team is supposed to be on the TV and what team I wish would be on the TV. In years past, I've had to strategically plan trips to Indiana on weekends of big games that weren't big enough to be on ESPN or NBC telecasts. I've invested in Sirius radio because if I couldn't see the game, at least I could listen and watch my computer for live updates on the computer with graphics that look like an old football handheld video game my brother used to have as a kid.

However, this year I've gotten to see every Colts game so far this season. Today will be the 8th. I choose to believe that in an effort to support its very lucrative broadcasting and sponsorship contracts that the NFL did a little research on secondary markets. Seeing that each of its 32 teams have a primary media market that LOVES to see their team (and in the case of probably all but maybe Oakland it tends to be where the team calls home), there are also other pockets of geography that have a strong affinity for teams.

For example, Nashville has a very high level of Colts fans because of their allegiance to all things Tennessee Volunteer related and its favorite prodigal son, Peyton Manning. Couple that with being in the same division (AFC South) and it nearly guarantees that any game played by the Colts outside of the Tennessee Titans schedule will garner some great ratings. Really it's a win-win-win scenario.

I choose to believe in research, money and planning than the randomness of TV schedules. Because I want there to be a pattern and not to think that I'm just the luckiest non-Indiana living Colts fan. Either way, it's almost game time and I've got a front row seat.

Sincerely,
your satisfied fan