Charlie Sheen is Batshit Crazy

On Friday, Chef sent me the file of Charlie Sheen's radio interview. It was flipping crazy as hell. Clearly it was crazy enough to halt production on one of the most popular shows on TV. Not a show I like, per se, but it is--or was--very popular.

So, Charlie Sheen goes on air to talk about how sober he is and with that sobriety comes a challenge to the show creator. A crazy rant. The fast-talking, the slurring of the words. It's some clear signs of some kind of mental break. I know the words "Charlie Sheen" and "mental break" aren't that much of a stretch. I mean, the dude has acted like a whack-a-doo for a long time.

But the rant includes some killer sound bites. One of them that I like is his peppering of the word "winning" when trying to compare his career with that of others. But when you think about it, the only "winning" Charlie Sheen really did was the winning of that of the genetic lottery. Without his dad, there would be no career or "winning" for Charlie Sheen. It's just his own damn fault he's frittered it away.

What I love about it is that Charlie's wrecking of his show makes Alec Baldwin's horrible phone message to his daughter look like telemarketing.

It takes a special kind of madness to completely sabotage your own success.

Reasons Why I Want to Be Tina Fey

With 30 Rock taking home some well deserved Emmys again this year and prepping for the beginning of the new season, I thought it was about time that my love of Tina Fey --well, more than love--my wishing to be her--was laid out on the line.

There are, of course, the obvious reasons--money, fame, accolades. All of those are nice enough, but here are some of the real reasons that I wish I was Tina Fey:

• She began as a writer and only then moved into acting, and I think most writers secretly wish they'd get tapped to come out from behind the page.
• People who mistake her for Tammy Faye would respond that she looks so much younger without the make-up (side note: I saw a seemingly homeless man the other day wearing a t-shirt that read "I ran into Tammy Faye at the Mall" with what seemed to be make-up without the face below it. It tickled and saddened me to think that the man had the shirt so long it had become so outdated it was now kitchy.)
• Despite the real story, she can still act like the scar on her face was from a cool gang fight.
• I too have confidence that outweighs my looks and abilities-so well done to my parents too!
• Working with Alec Baldwin would allow me to ask what he calls his daughter now that his voicemail to her is stuff of Internet folklore.
• Lorne Michaels was seen with Paul McCartney and Jack Nicholson at a Yankees game sitting behind the backstop. Just to know someone who could afford to those seats would be nice.
• I want to be my own description of hot (For example, "Tina Fey hot" refers to food that doesn't seem so hot in the beginning, but the longer it's with you, the hotter it gets -- that was coined by the "commissioner" of the competitive eating league and was just good enough to get stolen.)
• If I could come up with just 1/10th of her one-liners, I could write the best stuff.

Those are just a few reasons for now, but my adoration continues. Not in a creepy stalker way, but more in the "admire you from afar" way that I became so familiar with in high school. If you want to adore Tina Fey (and you do whether you know it or not), I suggest picking up the first season of "30 Rock" and then going from there. You're welcome.