An Open Rant to Macy's

This says "opinion". It can easily
say "Macy's Customer Service."

Dear Macy's,
I used to be a fan. You support an organization that I used to work for and still love, and I appreciate that. However, any residual goodwill I had with you dissipated when after FOUR attempts to return a wedding ring that did not fit.

Here's the situation: Macy's stores don't carry all sizes of rings, so when my husband and I ordered a size in store (being incorrectly sized by one of your associates), it was delivered to our home. When we learned that the ring didn't fit, that's where things got interesting. The package didn't include a packing slip, so I called the customer service line. . .three times.

Call #1: Took my info, tried to have me reprint my slip online until I pointed out that jewelry wasn't an option for that. Then she promised to email a shipping slip and a reorder of the new size for exchange.

Three days. . . no email.

Call #2: Repeat of call #1 with some apologies for the first experience and a repeat of the first call.

Four more days. . .no email. Check spam settings to make sure emails aren't being shifted. Nope.

Call #3: Immediately let the rep know it was my third attempt and I wasn't happy. Rep refused to give me info because although my credit card (with my name) bought the ring, it was shipped in Chef's name. Did I mention this was a wedding ring? Rep says that it is to protect the billing information, I say it was my card and my name. No go. Furious, I ask to speak to a supervisor. Wait 3 minutes (yes, I timed it). Rep says that all are busy. I say I'll wait 10 minutes. 10 minutes later rep says STILL no supervisors are free. I hang up and write furious email.

21 hours later I receive a cut and paste email telling me how I can return the items including giving me the customer service line and the website link that isn't an option. (At this point I know I am returning to the store to return, but am pissed).  The email had the gall to say that "Returns are easy at Macy's!".

Below is my sarcasm-filled response:

Julius,

First of all, it is my credit card information that was used to purchase the item--a wedding ring. It seems like if I am using my credit card to purchase a wedding ring two things would be evident: 1) that you should be trying to protect the billing information as the credit card holder (because we know how security has been an issue for major retailers lately), not the address where the item was shipped and that was on the credit card, and 2) if I was trying to pull one over on Macy's it seems like buying a wedding ring for my husband and both of us having the same last name and address would probably blow my cover. 

I probably would have less of an issue if ALL three of the service representatives had listed this as a concern. But only the last person refused to help me. The inconsistency was exceptionally confusing and on my THIRD call, which I told the representative immediately that this was, it was infuriating. 

Next, I appreciate your 'cut and paste' approach to customer service. It really helps clarify where I stand as a Macy's customer. I'm clearly just a number. I certainly don't expect customer service to know the return policy for every item it carries, but to help mitigate this, a cursory glance at the item ordered on the website would be helpful. You and two of the previous customer service reps tried to lead me to the website to reprint my return label. This is impossible for two reasons: 1) there was no return label in the first place (which has been mentioned) and 2) the website link reference does NOT list jewelry as an option for reprinting labels. If you can find it at the link you gave me (http://www1.macys.com/service/returns/easyreturnslabel.jsp), I will gladly apologize. 

And lastly, I am happy you included the customer service telephone number, as it has been oh so helpful in the past. Sending me for a fourth time to have my call taken by someone who  may or may not talk to me, and then promise to send a return slip and reorder the wedding ring only to have me wait in vain by our email for the promised answer to our customer service quandary and be disappointed sounds like a wonderful option. God forbid there was a specialized hotline of different customer service reps for people who have tried FOUR TIMES to exchange an item. At this point, I am crossing my fingers that going into a store for this will make the fifth time a charm. I'm unsure whether to exchange or just return because if the next wedding ring doesn't fit and I'm forced to waste more precious hours of my life trying to get the correct size. I will probably end up just divorcing my husband. Frankly at this point a divorce would be quicker and easier to than dealing with the Macy's customer service department. 

Sincerely, 

Order #10281XXX

aka Ashley Loar

Charlie Sheen is Batshit Crazy

On Friday, Chef sent me the file of Charlie Sheen's radio interview. It was flipping crazy as hell. Clearly it was crazy enough to halt production on one of the most popular shows on TV. Not a show I like, per se, but it is--or was--very popular.

So, Charlie Sheen goes on air to talk about how sober he is and with that sobriety comes a challenge to the show creator. A crazy rant. The fast-talking, the slurring of the words. It's some clear signs of some kind of mental break. I know the words "Charlie Sheen" and "mental break" aren't that much of a stretch. I mean, the dude has acted like a whack-a-doo for a long time.

But the rant includes some killer sound bites. One of them that I like is his peppering of the word "winning" when trying to compare his career with that of others. But when you think about it, the only "winning" Charlie Sheen really did was the winning of that of the genetic lottery. Without his dad, there would be no career or "winning" for Charlie Sheen. It's just his own damn fault he's frittered it away.

What I love about it is that Charlie's wrecking of his show makes Alec Baldwin's horrible phone message to his daughter look like telemarketing.

It takes a special kind of madness to completely sabotage your own success.