On Days When I Feel Like A Porker

Today I am all about eating. Not even bad things, but just an abundance. Okay, so not the whole day, but there was a synapse that must have switched this afternoon that said "eat more food for no apparent reason". I tried to ignore it, but it wouldn't go away. I fed it some sugar-free chocolate and it was moderately happy. Now all I can think about are the soggy leftover Subway sandwiches in the kitchen. Soggy and delicious, but I'm trying to resist.

• Begging will get you a new phone if you first pay your dues by spending a minimum of an hour on the phone with tech people. It's the price you have to pay for having working technology.
• Role playing is only fun in the bedroom and even there it's not always a guarantee. While it is useful in sales strategies, it's never fun and I am lucky enough to be able to opt out because I rarely have to go in for the kill (at least by myself).
• How can "I thought I replied to that" be a legitimate excuse for someone over email? We both know that if you had replied I wouldn't have asked 5 more times because although I can be annoying, I am not in 10 year old autistic child. I typically only ask once if I get a reply.
• How many stages are there on the Tour de France? I think if it's less than 50, they should just quit because nothing says sporting event like three straight weeks of "Is Lance winning? No, (insert indifferent shoulder shrug here) okay."
• I used to think it was creepy that I thought Harry Potter was cute. Now I realize that there's a difference between thinking someone is cute and feeling shame AND having mad lust and feeling pride.
• I'm certain Chef will beat me in tonight's weigh in. And I'm hoping that by tomorrow, I'll care enough to eat less chocolate.