The Two (or three or four. . . ) Sides of Me

Do you ever look at yourself throughout the day and wonder: Who is this person? Is this person the real me or is the real me at home in my sweats watching TV and cuddling cats?

I know there are lots of people who will tell me that both of these are me. But I don't really buy it. One of these is the natural me and one is the me that takes a little effort. And I'm reconciled with the fact that I can't skate by on my looks or brains. I'm just not that lucky. Then again about 99.9% of us are in the same boat on that one.

And there is no place that's harder for me to reconcile these two sides than in my work place fashion (not where you thought I was going with that, is it?). I like fashion for the most part (especially when I've got something to wear). But am I the suit or the blue jeans? Our work place is fairly casual--I think most of California is--and while I don't mind it, I also miss the formality of a suit. In fact, some days I bust out my suit and rock it despite the fact that people stare and I look ridiculously overdressed.

I think that's the main issue. If it were one way or another, I'd have less of a hard time reconciling the two versions of me. If it were either business dress or casual dress, the choices are more cut and dried. More representative of the two sides of my life that I like to treat Jim Crow-style--separate but equal. (But in this case it's actually true and not just a way to legally dupe people out of rights).

But this whole "business casual" crap is messing with me. Be business or be casual. Don't be both. It just opens up the spectrum for too many interpretations--nearly all of them wrong. And it makes the dress code enforcement a little like playing games with the neighbor kids when you were young. The rules change as to who is making them up and it's all a moot point when it's dinner time or the street lights come on.

Until then I just hope I don't show up to work in my Scooby Doo pajama pants.

What Should I Wear?

Two months from today I'll be married. A little hard to believe, but then again I've actually felt married for a while. At least in the practical sense. I've lived with Chef for more than six year. We've shared a bank account, responsibilities, cat duties and a lot of memories nearly just as long.

So I'm not worries or worked up about any of that. And now that I've made my non-decision on the name issue, there's not a lot of finish up. There's just one thing: a dress. I asked my friends for suggestions. Something short. Something not too formal. Something flattering. Doesn't have to white. Just has to make me feel special.

My friends came up with some good suggestions but I waited too late on one and it's not available any more. The other is on its way to be tried on. So now I'm asking for your help. If you can think of something or see something, feel free to leave me a link in the comments or shoot me an email.

New Dress, Same Me

Yesterday I went off in search of a new dress. Not like a "Mother's Day Brunch" kind of dress. More like a formal dinner dress. Except this one was tricky. Because it couldn't look like a mother of the bride kind of thing, but I couldn't show more cleavage than appropriate for a business meeting.

That's because the dress is for the Rutherford Heart Ball, an event that I'm working at, but still have to look good for. It's a fine line. I knew starting the day that it was going to be a long haul. I also knew that I would not be able to find the right dress without trying on a lot of wrong ones. It's the law of numbers. In the end, I went to 11 stores. Tried on 38 dresses. Found one that I didn't have to take out a loan to buy.

I had a beautiful dress picked out pretty early on, but realized that it had two major flaws: 1) it was intended to be worn without a bra and 2) it was a long gown meant for someone taller than 5'2". It went back on the rack as a dire "in case of emergency and nothing else" back of the mind

The one thing that I noticed about every store was the abundance of fish scale dresses. Those dresses that at the bottom have fish scale looking overlapped fabric for the bottom half. I'm not a big fan. I could see how they could provide a forgiving lay in a tight dress for a less than perfect body, but you also have to look like you're wearing a fish scale dress.

The other thing I noticed was that there wasn't a whole lot of selection. I could find about 100+ different styles of jeans, but there weren't a whole lot of non-slutty looking dresses. I think part of the problem was that the dresses I saw were leftover prom or wedding season mother of the bride. Since my age range is between those two, there left a lot to be desired.

Finally, I found one that was black, short but not too short, pretty but not outrageous. I then realized that I would have to find a strapless bra to wear it. That caused a whole different kind of panic. So I let it go, and moved on. In a miraculous twist of fate, I ended up finding a strapless bra before I found another dress. Above is what I'll be sporting for the event.

So, if anyone out there has a very bling-worthy diamond/diamonique/rhinestone/crystal necklace or size 7 1/2 or 8 strappy sandals in silver that they'd let me borrow, let me know. The Ball is Saturday.