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Monday, December 19, 2005

In My Head, I'm Worth More than All of Them

Forbes has an article out that just makes me warm and fuzzy for the holidays: The Forbes' Fictional 15. Fifteen fake people that are the richest in the world. If it's not bad enough that we have to be reminded of REAL people that are richer than us by Time .

The thing that kills me is the time that was spent on the issue. Articles about who dropped out, why Ted Clampett moved up (Black Gold, Texas Tea, Bubbling Crude-- They all mean the same thing: CASH), articles about the conditions and hours in Santa's workshop, the business philosophies of Montgomery Burns, and all kinds of other crazy crap. If I wanted fake news, I'd watch The Daily Show. I'd hate to have been someone that paid for that.

Besides, I bet that in my mind, I'm a WAY bigger fictional billionaire than those people. I spend at least $20-100,000 a day by going "Wow! I could really use a new car" or "Man, I wonder how much that house cost?" I've already accumulated billions by my fabulous inventions, my best-selling novel and my three movie appearances (one of which garnered an Oscar nomination last year).

In my head, I smoke all those bitches.

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