Public Relations isn't . . .

Since I did a post on what Public Relations IS, I thought I'd also clarify what it ISN'T for the record too. Public Relations ISN'T:

• like it is on TV. Samantha Jones would not be just calling people up and yelling at them to correct things or sweet talking them into writing things. That's not how it works. 
• like it is in books. I've read several books where the character doing PR will demand the media cover something and BAM! There just there for a completely non-newsworthy event (like a conference where nothing exciting is announced). 
• putting the media on beckon call. The only time in my career when ALL the great media outlets have voluntary shown up somewhere to cover something is when something crappy is happening. Every other time takes work, begging and relationship building. 
• about attending all these great and fun events. I have NEVER worked an event and had time to enjoy it. Usually I'm running around in heels and wishing that I were repping a sneaker company because then doing an ode to Melanie Griffith a la Working Girl wouldn't look inappropriate.
• Party planning.
• without strategy.
• spending all day on Facebook, twitter and instagram for funsies.
• without a budget. You have to be part time accountants to keep track of hours, dollars and everything in between. 
• about letter writing. Last time I checked, most people around me also had college degrees and can string together a form letter. Editing or pumping up said letter can be on the agenda. 
• stagnant. We tend to know about social media and "the next big thing" because we have to be able to explain to a company/brand/management why they should or shouldn't be on it.
• about perky sorority girls going to parties and events. 
• being a lawyer, but having to know a lot of law nonetheless. 

I'm sure there are other misconceptions out there, but just wanted to clear a few things up. Anything here surprise you?

Birthday Recap

Khubla looks at my chocolate wine.
It was perfectly paired with a
Krispy Kreme donut for my nightcap.

I should be doing a post about a great visit some friends from Nashville made to me and a friend from Laguna Beach, but instead I'd decided to leave that post for another time (it's late. it can't hurt to be later, right?) and do a birthday recap.

Yesterday I turned 34 years old. When I was younger, I thought that was old. And even on some days now, I feel it is. But on the by and by, I don't see myself as old. Mostly because people only think themselves old when they're really, really old. And I think that's appropriate.

I decided a few years back after a particularly rough birthday in the office that working on your birthday is balls. And now unless there's a very very good reason, I don't do it. Even if my birthday is on a Tuesday like this year. How often do you get a random Tuesday off with nothing else around it? Rarely. So I enjoyed it and pretended I was independently wealthy and didn't have to work.

First I slept in until I damn well wanted to and then got treated to delicious breakfast of Crossanwiches (yes, plural. It was my birthday, dammit) from my loving husband. Then I leisurely got ready and went for a mani-pedi. The place I went to treats you kind of like you're a car in the pits at the Daytona 500, so I had two people working on my talons. They were so talented that they had the massages timed so they were rubbing me down at the same time. It was heaven.

Roses from my awesome husband

Then I grabbed Chef and we went shopping. I got to go to Sephora (and thanks Jack for the gift card) which is annual tradition because I like to get my free gift, and some fun goodies. I got a lipstain I had been lusting after and the BEST smelling peony-scented lotion from Philosophy. Then Chef gave me his present. It was my favorite because I wanted it really badly and it's AWESOME, but I'm not telling what it is because too many people could read too much into it. Let's just say it is an technology gadget and leave it at that.

Then we got Krispy Kreme donuts (because donuts can be better than cake some times), and went to eat at my favorite sushi place. In between, I got to check the wonderful birthday wishes everyone left on my Facebook page. (Honestly sometimes I think that's the best part of Facebook).

To cap it off, I watched a screener of Silver Linings Playbook. It was good, but I probably would've liked it better had I seen it before all the hype.

All in all a great balance of my favorite things, my favorite people and relaxation.

And then I went back to work today :). Until next year!

Facebook (and Sheryl Sandberg), I'm Disappointed in you...BIG time

I was planning a nice, fluffy blog post today until Chef sent me an article on Jezebel and then BAM! I was sucked in.  The story itself was bad enough, but the comments were HORRIBLE. And I have to say that the older I get the more pissed off I get about women in the workplace. I used to get touchy about the word "feminist" but now I think it's just a word men warped to use in the place of "bitch" when it becomes convenient.

Anyway, the article talks about Facebook's board of directors and how they are predominantly rich white men and do not have a single woman on board. This pisses me off for several reasons: 1) more than half of Facebook users are women. 2) Sheryl Sandberg is a business idol of mine,  and has been a vocal advocate of gender equality--but apparently that doesn't apply to the company she leads 3) people do not realize how boards are set up.

Here's what pisses me off: Boards are not jobs--they are not typical positions that get hired for. They are appointed by leaders of a company and then by the board of directors themselves. Having women on boards has proven to be profitable and some countries, like Norway, have even set government quotas on how many board seats should be inhabited by a woman. So to say "Why would they just give a seat to a woman when it takes away from a more qualified man?" is bullshit. The company can set how many board members it wants and there are no set qualifications--there are rich white people that sit on boards as their job now that they're so rich they don't need to work. Does that make them more qualified than someone who holds a leadership position actively? Does wealth equal qualified? Nope.

Also the purpose of the board is to provide perspective and leadership to a company or organization. I find it hard to believe that balanced perspective can be achieved if the majority of customers and a good chunk of the work force are not represented.

But even having women on boards doesn't really solve the problem: women in leadership positions. If there aren't more women in higher positions then pickings for boards can be slim. (However, I find it hard to believe that Facebook-which could scour the earth to find board members--could not find one -ONE- woman who was qualified).  Riddle me this: I worked at a place where about 80 percent (no lie) of the staff was women, but about 75 percent of the leadership positions were filled by men. How can that happen if we're nurturing staff and growing talent within? It doesn't. But I can tell you from experience that there were few men that would "deign" to work there unless they were in a managerial position--which to me seems like horse shit.

There's also the misconception that sexism doesn't exist any more. It does. I've actually literally heard some members of the board of a company I worked for say they were happy they had just hired that female because she could be more effective "because she's hot. That's gonna open a lot of doors for her." That one statement was enough to shatter my illusions of sexism and was enough to prompt me to lose 80 lbs. I bet no one ever told Wozniak that he would be so much more effective at Apple if he lost a few pounds or was hot.

It happens every day and to ignore it only makes it worse. To think that there aren't smart, successful, powerful female leaders in the world and workplace is just stupid. We just need to open our eyes and minds to it. And by "we" I mean some big companies that are willing to step up--guess that doesn't mean Facebook.

Getting To Know Me...Because I'm Lazy and Arrogant

I got tagged on this and I'm feeling a little lazy today for the blog posting, so I'll take the bait. I'll let you know everything you didn't know you didn't want to know about me.

1. What time did you get up this morning? 6:05
2. How do you like your steak? Medium/ Medium Well
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
4. What is your favorite TV show? 30 Rock, watch it even in reruns
5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? Europe, probably an English speaking part
6. What did you have for breakfast? Lower Sugar Maple & Brown Sugar Oatmeal
7. What is your favorite cuisine? Mexican, probably
8. What foods do you dislike? tomatoes, cilantro, cucumber
9. Favorite Place to Eat? Depends on the day, but I always love PF Chang's
10. Favorite dressing? Kraft Fat-Free Zesty Italian because Zesty is Besty
11.What kind of vehicle do you drive? 1995 Toyota Camry named Cam Camry... still.
12. What are your favorite clothes? any of them that I describe as "my skinny" ____ (aka My skinny jeans)
13. Where would you visit if you had the chance? Europe, any part
14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? mostly half full
15. Where would you want to retire? California
16. Favorite time of day? the time that I'm in bed
17. Where were you born? Evansville, IN
18. What is your favorite sport to watch? NFL football
19. Who do you think will not tag you back? I don't answer questions that aren't about me.
20. Person you expect to tag you back first? see above.
21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this? see #19
22. Bird watcher? No, it's kinda lame.
23. Are you a morning person or a night person? Used to be night, but now I'd have to say morning.
24. Do you have any pets? Yes, see plethora of cat pictures
25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share? I'm 4 pounds awy from my lowest adult weight.
26. What did you want to be when you were little? a writer.
27. What is your best childhood memory? Going to kentucky lake with all my extended family for the summer
28. Are you a cat or dog person? Both, but I'm currently fully entrenched in felines.
29. Are you married? Not technially.
30. Always wear your seat belt? yes
31. Been in a car accident? Yes
32. Any pet peeves? lots. My current biggest annoyance are women who sit right next to your bathroom stall in a public bathroom when there are numerous empty stalls.
33. Favorite Pizza Topping? Pepperoni
34. Favorite Flower? Peony
35. Favorite ice cream? Cake batter ice cream at Maggie Moos
36. Favorite fast food restaurant? Wendy's burgers, McDonald's fries, so Qdoba.
37. How many times did you fail your driver's test? None
38. From whom did you get your last email? Alyssa Evans (work related)
39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Target or Macy's
40. Do anything spontaneous lately? No, I'm pretty boring.
41. Like your job? Overall, I love it.
42. Broccoli? Always and more.
43. What was your favorite vacation? Germany/ Italy trip
44. Last person you went out to dinner with? Chef.
45. What are you listening to right now? The sound of two hands typing.
46. What is your favorite color? Green right now, but it changes.
47. How many tattoos do you have? None.
48. How many are you tagging for this quiz? Who cares?
49. What time did you finish this quiz? 9:29 a.m.
50. Coffee Drinker? When the mood strikes me. But for now, I'll stick with my water.

25 Random Things

I was tagged--many many times, so I am contributing.

Rules:Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, you are supposed to choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because you already tagged me or I want to know more about you. I chose not to inflict this painful but somewhat fun self-reflective exercise on 25 "friends." It's like a virus. (To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag people, then click publish.)

1. I am scared of being impaled through a car window with deer antlers. It has to do with summer driving in Indiana and our family nailing a deer one night in the Oldsmobile.

2. My dad got me Backstreet Boys tickets for my 21st birthday because I asked for them.

3. I went to see them two times. The biggest plus was that the beer lines were super short.

4. I've had to pretend to like women's basketball to avoid confrontation and I'm ashamed.

5. In high school while working in a sporting goods store, my butt was stuck to a toilet seat.

6. I wrote about the experience and overcoming obstacles to win a partial college scholarship.

7. In high school, I used to wear white t-shirts, and stick glow sticks in my cleavage at parties.

8. At the Eagle's Nest in Germany, I was able to get a private tour because one of our hosts was pushy. It was awesome.

9. My first car was named Carlos and was a 1984 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme. Even without air conditioning and a CD player, it was awesome.

10. In 6th rgade, I was a member of the city's 2nd place African-American Academic Olympic team and didn't realize I was the only white team member until years later looking back on the pictures.

11. In high school, I was on the softball and volleyball teams, cheerleading squad, school newspaper, yearbook staff, and National Honor Society, but all I really wanted to do was write and drink like Ernest Hemingway. But I hadn't read any of his books yet.

12. My family owns a restaurant that's been around for 60 years and still serves the best spaghetti I've ever eaten.

13. While working as a waitress at the above restaurant, I would change my outfits, cleavage, accent and hairstyles to see how it affected my tips. However, nothing affected my tips like someone telling the customer I was the owner's niece.

14. I have a picture of my mom standing on top of the Twin Towers in New York and it freaks me out. Both aren't with us any longer.

15. I've seen David Sedaris read three times and still can't get enough of him.

16. I thought I hated cats until I got one. Then two more.

17. I once had a "love spell" pouch that I wore to a bar and lost while playing air hockey with the guy I was trying to "put under my spell." It didn't work.


18. I've tried many, many many times to read non-contemporary books, but I can't seem to really enjoy them.

19. My mom once hit me in the eye with Tabasco and told me to wash it out in a pool. I was supposed to get Tabasco in my mouth for cussing at my brother.

20. Chef and I met on the Internet. I used to think it was weird. Now it's mundane.

21. As a sophomore in high school, I read every book I could get my hands on about basketball in Indiana.

22. I can still remember all the lyrics to the "U Can't Touch This" parody cheer my old softball team had. Lachelle, Jamie and Sarah were good at making our cheers the best.

23. I ran into a girl during a softball game and accidentally broke her leg. The bone was sticking through the skin and required many surgeries. She was my teammate.

24. My dream job is to be a sports radio talk show host for ESPN. No make-up, sports and I get to talk for 4 hours. Bliss.

25. I am hopelessly addicted to carbs. Mostly in the form of loafs.