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Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Wasn't only a few months ago. . .

This is the post where I get all crazy and explain to people why we never believe it when a celebrity goes on TV to deny, apologize or address rumors. It's because they lie.

Only a few months ago, Britney was telling Matt Lauer that she and Kevin were great and that she had Sean Preston on her lap while driving because she was country. We knew you were lying then and it only took a couple of months, a few breaking up text messages and an appearance on David Letterman to back it up.

However, one thing Britney did cry and cry about was the paparazzi's intrusion into her life. Look, I can't proclaim to know what it's like to have people following me around all day and asking annoying questions because I don't have kids. The paparazzi are just like an annoying daycare swarming you at all times but instead of "Why?" they ask "Are you and Kevin getting a divorce?" over and over and over again.

But isn't it convenient that now that she's single and ready to mingle, Spears ends up in front of the flashbulbs again with Paris Hilton. Britney's in between publicists right now, but even an amateur knows that a night out with Paris will totally get a lot of attention. And it did. It was even on the Today show this morning. Their friendship of convenience is getting more press than Britney's cover of "My Prerogative."

In other news of the worthless, I'm happy to hear that the Cowboys cut their losses and released Kicker Mike Vanderjagt, aka Jimmy Canada. The most accurrate kicker in football except for when it really matters was an astounding 13 for 18 this season (72 percent). Not only that, but two of his misses were against his former team. I was so happy that Chef had to get me to stop repeatedly rewinding the Tivo to hear the thunk. It's been years, but apparently Vanderjagt still hasn't learned that "an idiot kicker" is not as important as. . . well, nearly every other player on the team.

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