More What? Mashed Potatoes?

So I'm old enough now where I don't mark on a calendar when the Video Music Awards are. Actually I never marked them on a calendar, but I did use to watch MTV and thereby knew the air date by osmosis.

However, being that football season kicked off this weekend, I have better things to watch than an awards show. I did, however, log on the next day to see Britney's first post-baby, non-night club performance. Look, we all know that Britney's songs aren't musicall good, but they are usually musically entertaining. Meaning they might not remind us of Beethoven, but they do put a nice little jaunt in our step. And she's had some real shitty songs that have just plain sucked. But the one thing that made Britney Britney was that she could take a shitty ass song, add some glitter thongs, dancing midgets, albino snakes and a dash of lesbianism to come up with a truly entertaining performance.

This year was the exception. Girls want to be Britney because she's got a hot body and some great stripper dance moves. Her performace to "Gimme More" (which unlike it's title does not really invite anyone to want more of anything except choices on the radio) was slow, boring and so uninspired that even my lazy ass could've performed the dance routine. When an overweight nearing 30 year says with confidence that she could've out-gyrated Britney Spears, it's time to get a new choreographer.

Look, I applaud any woman that's had two kids in two years and dares to put on a bikini or lingerie for her husband, but doing so for the whole world to see is a little different. Britney wasn't fat by any stretch of the imagination, but her stomach was considerably more rounded than the last time we'd seen it without a child growing inside. Wearing an outfit like that is setting people up with high expectations and then having them come crashing back at you in the tabloids you already loathe and use umbrella's against. Some stylist needs to have the balls to tell that girl that she can be sexy in something that doesn't create the negative publicity.

Does anyone else wonder how long Britney's hair has gotten since she shaved it off and what her natural shade is?