Last of the Birthday Celebrations

This weekend, my stepfather and his fiance visited me for my birthday. It was officially the last of the birthday celebrations and just like the others, it was wonderful and special. Jack came down and met Chef and I at our apartment. We introduced him to the cats (particularly Genghis who is the most social) and had a great time.

One special thing that happened was the passing along of my mother's engagement ring. I have the ring my father gave her. Or actually Chef has it to be utilized in the melding of many different rings that will eventually make up the engagement ring he chooses to give me.

However, for many reasons, I decided to keep my mom's engagement ring from Jack as it is. It is a gorgeous ring and one that she was very proud of for many reasons. Mostly because it symbolized the love she got from a wonderful man who made her happy. Naturally, I cried when he gave it to me. I thought of the last time I'd seen it on her hand. It was on her hand in the casket at the showing. I remember the car ride Jack and I took together on our way up to the funeral.

"That ring is yours," he said. "Your mom told me to take it back, but I wouldn't think of it. It's yours now or whenever you want it."

I didn't want it then. I was 21 and while I appreciated the ring as it had been between Jack and mom, I couldn't appreciate what it really meant. I hadn't been in a relationship and also knew that I wasn't mature enough to take care of it. So we decided that I would get it at 30. To make the birthday even more special and to give me time to experience all the things I would need to to give the ring value to me.

I knew when I opened it up and the tears flowed that I had made the right decision. I knew that it would mean something different to me than it had my mother. With her, it had meant someone who valued her so much that he would do anything for her. Even celebrate her daughter's 30th birthday when she couldn't be there to do it herself.

To me, it represents the independence she found right before she got it, the security she felt with it and that the only two women that have worn it were strong enough to realize they didn't need someone to rely on, but were open to love nonetheless.