Things I've Learned on My Summer Vacation

Not a vacation really. More like some time off. Well deserved, but it was more of a "use it or lose it" scenario than a calculated time off. But nonetheless in some non-consecutive and really nice mix of days and half days, I've learned some things.

• After my 10th viewing of "The Dark Knight" on HBO (I watch because I love it--oh, how I love it), I've come to the conclusion that if I were ever to be invited to a party thrown by Bruce Wayne, I'd say no. Mostly because every party he throws is interrupted by a villain and some innocent person always gets roped in to a hostage situation. It's a wonder that any respectable person in Gotham City still attends his cocktail parties.
• Alcohol in more than single doses makes even the best of diet and other restrictive measures non-existent, no matter how strong the original resolve.
• I can run. I mean, that I can actually run for logner than a block without someone chasing me with a knife. I ran first a mile, then 1.6 up a dementedly steep hill and then 2.5 miles. Without dying. Now I need to find a similarly slow running buddy to help me continue.
• It's fun to get into shape. The first wave of massive weight loss was more of a "take it off at all costs" kind of measure. This round is a "take it off and get toned up" bout. The weight seems to be coming off more slowly (probably because I have less of it to take off), but my body feels stronger than it has in years. Who knew?
• If Chef really tries to lose the weight and uses exercise (and not just his will power), he will probably kick my butt at our Biggest Loser contest. Last week he nearly doubled my weight loss for the week, but his previous indiscretions (see below) has left him at a disadvantage in the long haul. After 4 weeks, I'm at 3.9% and he's at 1.9%. I'm also down a total of 12 pounds in the 7 weeks of total trying (3 weeks without the contest). Not too shabby. And with our second round of boot camp starting on Tuesday, I'm sure to add some extra poundage to the total.
  

I've got more to learn with only one week of "use it or lose it" time left. I'm really looking forward to a long weekend and half days. I'm not looking forward to cramming at least 4 days of work into 2, but I think I can do it. Or lounge trying!

Chef's Birthday Binge

Chef's birthday was on Wednesday (he's still younger than me, but less so now and for the next 6 months which I prefer). He wanted cash and to binge on all the foods he loves. Both of which were fairly easy requests to accomplish. Primarily, I was happy to overcome my usual birthday giddiness and overcompensation. Maybe it's from years of being doted on by my mom, but I always try to go above and beyond for birthdays, be it my own or people that I love. Of course, the yin and yang of it is that I have to remember your birthday, which is sometimes a bigger problem than anything else.

But I digress, I listened to the sound wisdom of a long-time married friend who said "If he wants cash, just get him cash. No need for more or less." I did and then I also catered to his wants of the day when it came to our meals and snacks. Considering that we've been eating better for the last few weeks, I was looking forward to his birthday just as much as he was. Mostly to get some red meat, but more carbs and some cheese were also on my list of priorities. Here's a rundown of the items consumed during the course of a day:

• Chicken biscuits
• Hashbrowns
• Starbucks lattes
• donuts
• cupcakes
• cheeseburgers
• french fries
• Boursin-cheese laced mashed potatoes
• Filet mignon
• energy drinks
• whiskey
• Coke (full flavored, none of that diet stuff)
  

All said and done, Chef consumed more than 7,000 calories in one day. I didn't tip in at half of that, but it was still over my daily limit by quite a bit nonetheless. That's a lot of food. Especially when you're used to eating 5 mini-meals throughout the day. I was sick most of the night (never throwing up, but very full) and the next day I regretted my decision to eat steak. While it was certainly delicious, it was also like a brick of meat sitting in my stomach for boot camp the next night. I said more than once "I'm not eating red meat again any time soon." The meat hangover for boot camp was worse--like by at least a measure of 5--than my first day of boot camp that happened the morning after a really bad night of wine drinking.

By Thursday morning, I was happy to wake up to my bowl of oatmeal, fruit and start the day in a normal way. The meal plan doesn't seem so bad any more. Although, I'd totally be down for a bagel right now. I'm just saying.

What's Real Anymore?

Last night I watched bits and pieces of "I'm a Celebrity! Get me Out of Here" before wondering if everything in my life that's supposed to be real is actually fake. Not a "Matrix" freakout, but certainly something worth contemplating.

Like that show, for instance, which swears that no one knows what's going on and that it's the "celebrities" being real. I have a hard time believing that Spencer Pratt is that much of an out of touch asshole in real life. At least, I'd like to believe that there are few people who are so delusional that they think being on an MTV "reality" show grants them higher celebrity than Lou Diamond Phillips. I mean, come on.

Maybe I'm cynical. Maybe I'm just skeptical, but there are very few things that I feel are organic these days. Not like, all natural organic, but like happening on their own. One thing I did have pointed out to me twice on the same day (thank you Chef and Laura) was this great amazon.com review. I think it's probably real, but now that the company has seen it's orders for the shirt rise, I'm sure there's a marketing agency out there trying to replicate it with one of their products.

Not even the sugar I eat is real. It's splenda and therefore supposedly better for me, but it's still scary. I love Hungry Girl because she makes fattening foods less so, but most of her recipes don't use "real" ingredients.

What is real anymore?? Am I missing out on anything or just having a 21st century crisis of reality?

I've never noticed teeth so much before

Yesterday I worked an event at the local zoo and gave out health information. It was a very nice event. Well run, well attended, great weather, all the important things you'd want in an outdoor kids event.

But any time I work one of these things, I always get a different kind of crowd. Mostly it takes me out of my comfort zone and thrust into a crowd of people I didn't know existed in Nashville. And almost everything the vast majority are very nice. Of course, it's the few that aren't so nice that make me chuckle. for instance, at one event I had a lady tell me that she was from New York, and New Yorkers aren't fat, but that when we moved to the South, she was surrounded by "Fatty Families" that made her sick.

But the one thing that really stuck out for me yesterday was the poor dental hygiene or evidence there of for so many people. Not just the adults (and I saw some mouths that I'd only see on TV--no teeth or just nubs on a 20-something is not the norm), but I also saw a LOT of fillings on baby teeth. Like the front of the mouth baby teeth with silver rims.

I think about how the eating habits of today are effecting the waistlines of youth, but I'd never noticed the mouths. Some of the worst teeth were on kids that weren't overweight. So if the sugar is doing that kind of physical, visible damage to their enamel, it makes me wonder about their insides.

Or, more specifically, my insides. What have I pickled in my gullet?