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Tuesday, April 11, 2006

My Sperm Carries Bayonets They do!

There are some great things about being a writer. One of which is finding pieces you don't understand and exploiting a line of it. The above is the aforementioned stolen line. I know what bayonets are. I am vaguely familiar with sperm. The image of the sperm carrying bayonets is a little too much for me to handle. Mostly because it brings up fears of unplanned pregnancy, but I digress.

Today I went in to get my eyes checked out. I knew it had been a while since I had, but it wasn't until my opthamologist's assistant said, "Have you experienced any new pains or irritations in your eyes since 2002?" that I realized it been a LONG time. I don't konw if it was because I was all dilated and stuff, but on my way out, I almost got hosed.

I went to "check out" aka pay up for the contacts that I had ordered. (My prescription is close to a blind person's and so they always have to order it). Two boxes of dailies for $100. What?!?!? My contacts before had only cost about $60 for two boxes. I just looked at the lady and told her to get my prescription because I could order them online. I know they hate that shit, but I saved about $20 and didn't have to pay for shipping. I hate going to the doctor. Any doctor.

Congrats to Swampy and Swampette for their new house in Hickory. I can't wait to see it. I hear it's made of cheese. Hopefully not Gouda.

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