Things That Keep Me Up At Night

Random thoughts that go through my head as I'm trying desperately to push them out and go to sleep:

• Does Tom Brady think he out kicked his coverage by marrying Gisele Bundchen?
• Where do companies that SPAM come up with the weird ass names they put in the "from" line?
• Why don't I have an undying urge to have children? Or even any urge?
• Why doesn't ProActiv asked Peyton Manning to be their newest spokesperson? He gets some raging Chin strap acne during season.
• How would my 10 year old self respond if I told her what I'm doing as an adult?
• Is there still hope for me and Matt Damon to get together. . .even if it's as some kickin' senior citizens?
• If we died, how long would it take before Genghis and the cats ate us?
• Why does my fantasy football team seem to suck so much more this year than last?
• Is there a way to make Cake Batter ice cream at home?
• How much do stand up comedians make per year? Could I get just as much emjoyment just being friends with a comedian?
• Will midgets (aka Little People) ever be able to ride roller coasters? (Yes, even 10 years later, this one still crosses my mind).
• Why can't I ever find figs at my grocery store when I want some bacon-wrapped figs?
• Will I ever be able to afford Manolo Blahniks? If I am, will I ever be able to overcome the Midwestern sensibility instilled me in to actually pull the trigger and buy them?
• What happened to the characters of "Gilmore Girls" after the series finale? (Sometimes I make up happy endings for them all in little vingiettes in my head. Sometimes the whole town of Stars Hollow goes up in smoke. )
• At what age did I officially become old enough to hear the worries and problems of my elders? Can I go back before that time so I can live in oblivion again?
• Whatever happened to . . . (fill in the blank with an old product like 'Get in Shape Girl' toys or an old acquaintance that resists facebook)?

So, that's a tiny peek into my world of crazy. Hope you enjoyed your time here. Come back again tomorrow night as I lay in bed and try to play out the entire Colts-Jaguars game before it happens.