|Thanks Natalie for digging this relic up.|
It's hard to believe that I was that different looking. Fine, I'll be honest. It's hard to believe that I was that fat. The sad (or happy?) thing was that I got even fatter before I turned it around.
It's also hard to believe that at my height I thought I could pull of a floor length skirt for work wear.
But I digress. To give you some context, this picture was taken in Evansville (I'm guessing you deduced that but just in case) in 1999 in my second year of interning for the local paper, The Evansville Courier & Press. It was my first real look into having a real job (well, technically my second look since I had had the internship the year before and loved it). I realized at that point whether it was working for a newspaper or just working that I needed to be in the communications field. I wanted to write, talk to people, and tell stories. Also I realized that despite it being the second round of people that I was exposed to, I liked them just as much as the first. That was the first time it dawned on me that most people drawn to the communications or media field have fairly similar and congenial personalities. There are some exceptions, but all in all it seems to be true.
You know how people are always looking at themselves younger and say "If I knew then what I know now. . . " or "I wish I could tell my younger self. . .". I'm not sure I feel either way. I mean, I've seen enough time travel movies in my day (and I believe them to be almost like documentaries in their depiction of how time travel would work) to know that telling my younger self things about the future could derail me from the track I went on. And honestly, I like my life. Plus if I told myself that I was going to live in Nashville for almost a decade and then move to LA, I would've thought that future me was severe drug addict. Because I'd only been to Nashville twice in my life at that point--once to go to Opryland and once to go to a basketball tournament-both as a child--and I had never been to LA.
The one thing I would say to me in 1999 is this: Things are going to get really shitty for while and it's going to be really sudden, but it'll be okay. You'll be okay. Just do what you do because you're instincts aren't too shabby.
Hopefully me in 13 years will look back and say the same thing to 2012 me. Minus the shitty part.