Let's Play A Game

When I used to cashier at various places, I used to try and guess what people were doing by their purchases. It was a fun way to spend the a work shift.

If my cashier at Target played that game today, probably only chocolate would've screamed "I'M HAVING MY PERIOD!" more than my purchases.

I remember a time when I would've been embarrassed to have to bring the box of tampons up to checkout. Now I just plunk them down like a veteran.

"Who Stole My Tailgate?" Not Me.

The other day Chef called me over to the computer to chuckle at a picture of the above that was posted on a pretty popular blog he reads. I saw it and shrugged my shoulders. 

"So, that car is parked at the Target near my office all the time. I think he works there."

It was then that I realized this car was Internet famous. So to prove that I actually meant what I said (not that Chef even remotely challenged my allegation), I took this pic today at the Target parking lot near my work. I don't know who stole his or her tailgate, but I suspect that whoever did has not yet returned it after about a year. It might be time for him or her to just buy another tailgate. Although I kinda like the board and spray paint version. Reminds me of Tennessee,

The World Has Come To An End

Today was the weirdest day in my shopping life. I went into Target and came out with NOTHING. That's right. . .nothing. It was the first time in my life that I went in with a list and left empty-handed. Mostly because the shelves were bare.

Perhaps it was my fault. Perhaps I thought too highly of Target and their ability to actually stock their shelves. The place was really missing a lot of stuff. Chef and I went in for a few things: 1) a level, 2) swiss cheese slices, 3) provolone cheese slices, 4) an iPhone arm band for jogging.

Went to the Electronics section. No armband for an iPhone. Just an iPod. Not big enough.

Went to the Hardware section. No levels. No tape measures. Just some drills and drill bits.

Went to the grocery section. No swiss or provolone cheese slices. Just cheddar cheese slices and rows and rows of Muenster. How much Muenster does a store need to stock?

Having struck out, we went to Ralph's. Ralph's is really Kroger. Chef corrects me every time I call it Kroger, and I get pissed. Kroger OWNS Ralph's and I spent more than the last decade going to Kroger, so I feel like if I want to call it Kroger between the two of us, I should be able to without remark.

Names aside, it was hard to believe and a little disappointing that the store I love didn't love me back this Sunday night.

Oh well. At least the Colts got into the play offs.

Settling In

I haven't had the chance to write an update lately. It's been a crazy couple of days. Chef and I left Vegas at noon on Sunday thinking it would be a four and half hour trip. It was not. We knew it was going to be rough within the first couple of miles when traffic on I-15 was already backed up only about 5 miles outside of town.

The movers were scheduled to come in at 6 p.m. that night, so surely a 90 minute buffer would be plenty. But clearly it was not or I wouldn't be writing about it. At 6:30 that night, we were still almost two hours away from our new apartment AND Chef isn't supposed to drive at night. He has night blindness, so the prospect of driving into LA at night was not a good one. I had to stop to get gas and there happened to be a Best Western at the exit, so Chef and I decided that was a sign to stop.

The movers were nice enough to come the next morning. There was also a fatal traffic accident on the I-10 right before our exit, so there was a 90 minute delay the next morning getting to the apartment. Luckily, I had a Garmin to help steer us around it so we didn't get delayed the full 90 minutes. In the back of my mind, I heard every single person who told me that LA wasn't all that great because of the traffic (and it's expensive was the second most popular reason to stay away).

Anyway, the movers had it done in about an hour and we were unloading soon enough. Next, we went to Target to get some essentials and then back to the new place. I feel asleep pretty easily that night. One thing that Chef said he was going to have to get used to is the traffic noise. Our apartment is next to a busy street and there is never a time that it isn't busy. It was one of the trade-offs of the great place. The bitch of it was someone honking at 4 a.m. Who honks at 4 a.m.?

Aside from the honking, I have learned a few things: 1) this place would be much better if there were more left turn signals. 2) If you do get stuck turning left at a place with no turn signal, be sure to stick your car in the middle of the intersection and know that at least two cars must be able to turn left after the red light appears. I have a feeling that I will be a more aggressive driver the longer that I'm here.

This morning we woke up and wanted a long, hot shower. No dice. When we called maintenance, we found out that the entire complex had no hot water. Ugh. So, Chef and I unpacked more and made lists of things we needed. We also waited for the cable people to come. It wasn't until a little while ago when Chef configured it, that we had some other form of entertainment than our sparkling personalities. Now we have cable and internet. We have everything.

Shopping with a Strategy

It seems as if my work life and the thoughts that go behind it are slowly seeping into my personal life (or what's left of my personal life). The two have been on a collision course for a while and it's predominantly my fault. But I digress.

I went shopping on Tuesday night because my schedule and the revolution of the earth around the sun dictating the hours in a day allowed me to have one night free for shopping and one night free for wrapping. And by night, I mean 2 hours or so of free time before my head hits the pillow before waking again a few hours later, but that's another story.

Two hours. One night. 16 people to buy gifts for.

It was at that point or realization that I knew instead of my lacksidasical meandering to find things that I got a good vibe from wasn't going to work. It was going to take a battle plan. I scoured the circulars for ideas for certain people. Then I listed out all the stores that carried the items I had in mind. Seeing that, I brainstormed places with good deals on those items to consolidate the 7 stores into 3. I selected which store to go to first based on any contingency plans of second choice gift items. After doing all this, I was ready to shop.

Except for one thing. I had to execute my battle plan without my war paint. Because I was at the gym working out and I didn't want to eat into precious time, I went from the gym to the mall. And not just any mall, but the mall in the ritzy side of town. No make up, hair back in a messy pony tail, t-shirt and capri workout pants (both oversized for comfort).

I should've been embarrassed. I don't like being seen in public (other than maybe Ghetto Kroger or a Harris Teeter trip for 5 items or less) in my workout clothes. I should've cared that I could potentially be smelled by the other patrons (a quick dash through the perfume section took care of that). But instead I was mostly irritated by the fact that it took longer to get someone to ring me up. I get it. I didn't look like a big spender. However, I had the item I needed in my hand and was waiting at a register. It's a done deal. Just sidle on over here and ring me out.

Needless to say, I had less of a problem when my second store was a Target. God bless you, Target. I will love you and your ability to welcome me with the unexplicable smell of popcorn when I enter (which is there whether you sell popcorn at the snack bar or not. Isn't that weird? Do you pipe that in?) and your welcoming beeps because I know that my workout clothes are only slightly worse than the red top and khakis mandated attire of your staff.

And with that, I'll say my strategy paid off. One night. 16 gifts. One hour and 45 minutes including travel time. Not too bad if I say so myself. Hope you had just as good as luck as I did...with a little strategy to boot.