When The Insides and the Outsides Don't Match

I've said some really horrible shit in my life. Sometimes on accident (the incident where I was yelling "Gays Bad! Hitler Good!" outside the IU student union during a conversation to my friends comes to mind. The context makes it all right, but it's not nearly as interesting to write about.), and sometimes on purpose, most of which I am not proud of no matter how right it seemed in the moment. But you can't take it back.

That's also true for social media. And a lesson that Dani Mathers is learning a little late in life. 

She's 25. Absolutely beautiful. And did something stupid. . . .and illegal. 

For some backstory, Dani Mathers was the 2015 Playmate of the Year for Playboy. She lives in LA and does LA things. One of those things includes working out at LA Fitness, which unlike Palm Beach Tan is actually in the geography where it's named. She worked out, took a picture of another gym patron getting into the shower naked, posted it to Snapchat and wrote "If  can't unsee this, then you can't either" on the photo. 

There's a lot that's wrong with this scenario. Mathers claims that she thought the Snap was private because she's new to Snapchat, She also said in a video statement on social media: "I have chosen to do what I do for a living because I love the female body and I know that body shaming is wrong and that's not what I'm about, that's not the type of person that I am."

I'm gonna start first with the big issue of this: While Mathers is certainly welcome to pose for all the naked pics that she wants to and get paid handsomely or moderately or not at all to do so, she has chosen to do that. The woman in the photo has not. You can't take photos of someone naked without their consent, especially on private property. It's not legal, and frankly I think Mathers should face the consequences of that. It she were a man taking photos of a woman in a steam room or something similar, the outrage would and should be the same. And so should the consequences. 

I'm not going to delve into the backlash about a pretty person making fun of what she deems to be a not pretty person because that's too easy. It's too easy to tap into the fervor of that and frankly everyone else is doing a good enough job at their righteous indignation on that front.

However, here's the lesson: Social media (and inherently the Internet) allows people to be who they are. It provides a window to be real or to perfectly stage your life for others. You can share for the world your struggle with anxiety and depression or your smoothie recipe that includes moondust. What you put out there is the YOU that others see. It's not the YOU that you might actually be. ("Perception is reality"--which is both true and bullshit at the same time because my perception is my reality but not necessarily reality as a whole, but that's a debate for another day.) 

It's frankly your choice. Even when you "accidentally post" something, you are revealing who you are. To claim that you're not the type of person to body shame as an explanation for your body shaming social media post is a lie. As hard as it is to admit sometimes when you think people have you all wrong, it's also a wake up call. It has been for me at times. And it's confusing and it sucks, but it's also necessary. 

Sometimes the insides and the outsides don't match. 

One Word: Snarky

I saw this video a few days ago and it continues to make me laugh so I am sharing it. This is for all those social media managers and PR people who WISH we could respond like this. And kudos to Bodyform for having the guts as a brand to do it. It's hilarious! And for the agency who executed I'm sure it was the one time their client said "make us a viral video" and they did.

I especially love the blue water she drinks from. It's a snarky and awesome video. You're welcome.

For the background on what prompted the video, here you go.

Should I Google+?

All week I've been getting invites to Google+ and seeing other people on it, but I'm not quite convinced I should do it. I know they just hit 43 million users and all, but is anyone out there on Google+? What's good about it? I'm thinking I'm about at my social media limits right now, but as a marketer and PR person, I'm curious. 


Anyway, on to what I've done for the week!

• Pages of fiction read: 59% of a 384 page book. So, that's technically 226 pages. That's one thing you lose with a Kindle. The actual page count. 
• Fiction read: The Hunger Games. I'm an idiot. I should've listened to my friends months or years ago when they told me to read these. Very entertaining.
• Fiction listened to via audiobook: None. Still enchanted by Pandora. 
• Five pages written: Yes!!! I revised a section of the novel that went from 6 pages to 12. Which is good because I tend to write at too quick a pace.
• Calorie tracking: Check. But I ate horribly. I really and truly am back on it this week. And the whole week. Not just Monday through Thursday as I have been. (She writes after having half a bagel today.)
• Exercise: 290 minutes of exercise in the last week. But I missed two work outs because I was sick.
• Friends and family: Done. Komen walk time brings us all closer. Or at least me more nostalgic.
• Weight Loss: Zero. But this week will be different!
• Story submission:I did it. I submitted an edited version of my short story for the NPR Three Minute Fiction contest. I'm already a winner because I actually accomplished something. 
• One revised section of novel per week:  Check! Now I'm reworking the beginning of the novel. I've read beginnings of six of my favorite books to see what it is about them that cpatures me. Now I'm trying to do it. 
• Anyone have any examples of good fiction beginnings they'd like to share? (Other than "It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.")