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Monday, August 08, 2005

The Elephant was Tried for Murder

Chef was reading off a bunch of odd facts to me this morning as I was getting ready for work and of course, that one stuck with me: Tennessee is the only state to ever try an elephant for murder.

The only thing I can think of is that I'd hate to be the prosecutor on that trial. You already know that you won't be cross-examining the defendant. Besides, if you do win, what do you do? Send the elephant to jail? Forced imprisonment for an elephant... isn't that called a zoo?

And if the elephant gets the death penalty, PETA will be all over your ass before the gavel hits the bench. An elephant trial is totally a lose-lose situation.

Speaking of lose-lose situations, I chose to stay out of one this week when the ubiquitous collection envelope came around the office. Another wedding, another donation. Except this time I took some good advice. I just signed the card.

It's not that I don't like the bride-to-be. However, we have had two other weddings and a new baby that have gone completely unrecognized in the office in the last couple of months. It's hard to donate to someone's wedding when you know that if it was your wedding, there'd be nothing but a hand shake involved.

Office politics suck.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I'm so sick of the donation envelope and pot luch lunches. I have given so much money and time to things in the past several years, and not once has anyone done anything for me. And my last day at this job is in 2 weeks- which I'm sure will go unnoticed. Heaven forbid I actually recoup what I have put into this damned office.

Anonymous said...

woah, I didn't mean pot lunches, I mean POT LUCK LUNCHES.

Hoosier Chick said...

That's good because I was thinking you either brought brownies to everything or mixed jello in a toilet.

Swampy said...

Ashley, jello in a toilet is actually referred to as a "Stool Shot."

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