Is 33 too young to start thinking of your mortality?

Lately I've been obsessed with time and I'm not sure why. I feel like 33 is pretty young and therefore I should be LESS worried about time, but then I think of all I want to do with my life and the spiral starts again.

Maybe this is the consequence of having a parent who died relatively young. Or maybe I'm just slowly going insane. Or maybe I'm too ambitious. I really have no idea.

It was kicked back up lately because of a news story about how freezing eggs is now considered common practice and is covered by some insurance companies. They featured a woman on there who was 38 years old. Only five years older than I am. This freaked me out.

While the whole "should I have a kid?" debate is really for a completely different blog post (if at all.) To be honest, the kid thing has been a feeling that has been a pretty steady "no" for the majority of my life. And while I'm not sure it will change, I abhor the thought that my indecision would make a decision for me. Not just for this decision, but really for any decision. I want to be the person creating my life and not letting it just spring up around me.

But I digress. This is about time. And all the things I'm scared that I won't get finished. First of all, I am afraid this damn novel will never get done. Then I'm afraid I'll never get to the point of owning a home. Or eventually having a job where I work for myself (that's less about time and more about fear). But honestly, isn't it all really about fear? I always thought I was fairly fearless, but come to find out that's not so much case. So now fear of dying before things get done is becoming my mantra.

I guess I have two choices: 1) keep thinking these morbid thoughts and do nothing or 2) use this to do something. I'm probably more of a choice #2 person. Any advice?

A Thin Line Between Normal and Serial Killer

If I took Attila to the movies,
chance are he would just crawl
up next to me and sleep.
 Just sayin'

Yesterday, Chef and I went to see The Avengers, because we're American. And apparently all of America went to see it this weekend. Even in our beloved sinner showing, there was a fairly full house--and we chose to see it without 3D. Partly because I think that 3D is just a way for movie executives to test how stupid moviegoers will be to see a movie. I think the fact that they've made five versions of The Fast and The Furious should be enough of a case study, but I guess they want to fuck with us more because those glasses keep getting more and more hideous.

Hideous glasses aside, I also fear that 3D will end up corrupting versions of the movie and we'll look back in 20 years and laugh at what we thought was so advanced. Don't believe me? Catch Jaws 3 next time its on TV and see how stupid that shark looks coming at you. And how short shorts could be and still be considered acceptable. Dennis Quaid, I'm talking to you.

So we're sitting there in a relatively packed theater and a family comes to sit down after the previews have started. I actually like seeing the previews, but since Youtube means that I can watch the ones I'm interested in at home, I get a little less pissed off about people talking during them. What does piss me off, though, was the little shit behind me that felt the need to kick my chair for 20 minutes.

I know a lot of you have kids where I have cats, but I have no sympathy for a parent who is so engaged in a movie that you don't seem to notice the toddler (who shouldn't have been in that movie at all -completely inappropriate for that young of a kid) that was standing --not sitting in their seat--and kicking the back of a chair in front of them. An area that just happens to be my HEAD. At first I tried to pretend it was like a massage chair when I get my pedicures that had some how gone on the fritz, but it didn't work for long. I gave a few pointed looks to the mother behind me, but it didn't work. She never did do anything to control her child. I wondered why the kicking stopped but when I went to the bathroom I saw that the kid had fallen asleep in his chair. Mystery solved.