Sometimes its the little things. . .

Today I spent the majority of my day in my pajamas. It's not a bad way to spend the day. However, despite being in pajamas, I was working hard pretty much the whole day. I spent a good 2-3 hours uploading all the pertinent files that I had on my work computer onto my personal laptop. One of the catches is that my personal laptop doesn't have any Windows software on it. No Word. No Power Point. No Excel. None of it.

So I was forced to try out Google Docs. It's not too bad. I was able to reformat my resume, make some changes and pretty much open any of the documents that I had transferred over. It was helpful to be able to rifle through my old files to make sure I'd remembered all of my accomplishments in nine years. Sadly, I had forgotten most and I'm stuck trying to remember what things I was so proud of during my time as the marketing director. Hmmmm. . .

Aside from that, I was also able to open my file of exported contacts. The kicker is that that contacts from my old Outlook account, the contacts in my iPhone and the contacts in my Google account are all slightly different. So I had to go through all the contacts that I wanted to sync into my phone and on Google and make sure the Outlook information matched up. There's no easy way to do this when you're not quite sure which version is the most up to date. So, another 2 and half hours later I finally had my contacts down to a mere 80. Oosh.

But now I'm ready, at least computer-wise, to move on. Now to apply for some additional jobs tomorrow. Oh the little things. . .

Free Chihuly and a Wonderful Day

Today was my second official day of unemployment. Yesterday was my first and it was so packed with a lunch, grocery shopping, license tag renewals, rent paying and phone calls that it was not so much like a day off. Don't get me wrong. I'm not going to sit around lounging until its time to pack up and move to Los Angeles, but I'm also not going spend all my time obsessing so that I can't enjoy the little space in between jobs that I am afforded. I'm only afforded this because of Chef and I saving and living below our means for quite some time and my oblivious confidence that a good work ethic and great experience will land me something that will at least pay the bills in L.A.

So today Chef and I went to Community Day at Cheekwood to check out the Chihuly exhibit. Dale Chihuly is an artist, primarily a glassblower, who does these huge, beautiful installations. Cheekwood is the botanical gardens in Nashville. That should catch up those who have not heard of one or the other or both of those. Oh and Community Day means it was free to get in. We left the house around 10:15, got into the long line of cars to get into Cheekwood at 11:30 and actually walked through the museum gates at 10:55. There were that many people there. Mostly at home mothers and the eldery (it is the middle of the week, after all), but school was out because it is election day and there's nothing more creepy than exposing our children to the myriad of people who actually take part in democracy. That's just too big of a risk for the schools.

So, we got some sandwiches and sat amongst the trees and art in the beautiful weather and chuckled at the idiots who had to work today. Sure, a paycheck is nice, but so is Chihuly with a loved one. We meandered through the exhibit, found every piece and about 2 hours later were firmly planted at Sweet Cece's to get some frozen yogurt with fruity pebbles on top--because I've made Chef a believer of fruity pebbles as a topping.

Now I'm hanging out and blogging while I wait for my boot camp to start at 5 p.m. and then its home for a quick shower and heading to Patterson House for a round of drinks (handcrafted cocktails to be exact) as the perfect cap to this fine day.

I've Been Lazy

It happens. You decide to pick up dinner one night instead of cooking because you're too tired. You stop running on weekends because you deserve a few days off. You stop reading the newspaper in a timely manner because "Teen Mom" is more engrossing. You get lazy.

Okay, not it's not "you" it's me. I'm lazy. At least I was. I started running again on weekends yesterday morning because if I don't get up and do SOMETHING, then I don't get up to do anything. And once I was up, I vacuumed, paid bills, did some organizing and other household chores. It inspired me to get up again on Sunday and do a separate set of chores (and even a little work) so that I didn't feel like a complete slob all day. Frankly, I need to be honest and say that I might not have been as productive all Sunday if the Colts game hadn't been the Sunday night one.

I not only did household chores, but also some baking. A Heath Cheesecake for Chef (found the recipe in my mom's old recipe box) and some Hungry Girl Death by Chocolate cupcakes for me. I've also started REALLY watching my calories again. Not just pretending like I have the past week.

I stopped physically writing down my calories (that's what worked for me the first go-around) and started using an app for my iPhone. It's called My Fitness Pal and it's not that much different than a lot of other tracking sites. It's free and all that. But what I love about it is the number of food items that it has in its database to log. For example, it doesn't just have coconut creme yogurt, but KROGER brand coconut creme yogurt. Today I tossed in "hungry girl" as a search and it had the nutritional information for A LOT of her most used recipes including the death by chocolate cupcakes that I made. It makes logging calories and exercise take about 30 seconds. I love it.

So, now that I've recognized that I've been lazy and that I am so much happy when I'm not lazy, it's time to keep the momentum going. Maybe I should go back to running or walking twice a day. . . .

Stromboli, Banana Fritters and the Dirt Diaper

All of the above items were available to eat this past weekend at the West Side Nut Club Fall Festival (aka the Fall Festival) in Evansville. I went home this weekend to see my best friends and we met up at the Fall Fest for old time's sake. I honestly hadn't been in more than a decade. It's a big deal in Evansville. Like a huge event with about 1/2 mile of trailers all offering disgustingly named, but deliciously tasting, items of food. It would probably be fair estimate that about 75% of the food items offered are fried.

We decided to divide and conquer for the most part so that we didn't end up getting sick like so many others. It's pretty easy to go from a good time to the vomiting with just one wrong calculation of fritters. I actually ate all or some of the following items: Chicken and Dumplings, corn fritters, Stromboli, fried macaroni & cheese, lemon shake-up, and banana fritters. It sounds like a lot, but that's actually not too bad. The only huge disappointment was the weak, microwaved Stromboli by the Young Democrats booth.

While those are some of the less weird items, there were a few items that were new (or oldies but goodies) that those not from Evansville find odd. Here's a few:

• Brain Sandwich (a LONG time festival favorite)
• Fried Oreos & Fried Twinkies
• Dirty Diaper (a pumpkin turnover)
• Pigeon Poop (I have no idea, but calling things something related to excrement tends to be a festival tradition)
• Gumbo, shrimp and other seafood (it's best to avoid as Indiana is a land locked state)
• Pronto Pups (similar to a corn dog, but not corn related at all)
• Orange Shake-ups
• Homemade potato chips
• Cheeseburgers
• Kuchen
• Fudge
• Yoohoo Shakes
• And more. . . .

While the food was pretty good--actually probably better than I remember--it was more awesome to spend time with my girls. We hung out all day and then headed back home on Sunday. I was also lucky enough to squeeze a quick visit in with my dad and my mom's side of the family.

The only think that sucks about the trip was the mold. There's a mold in southern Indiana that makes me miserable if I end up spending more than 24 hours in the area. I'm now still taking Claritin D and sounding like a congested crazy person. In fact, it's been three days now, so I'm beginning to wonder if I'm actually not only fighting allergies but also sickness. I have gone to bed at about 8:30 the last two nights.

No matter what if I had to do it again, I would gladly do it to see my friends and family.

Working, Walking and Waking

This weekend was the annual Heart Walk in Nashville and it was probably the best one we've ever had. Of course, after last year's rain out, just having one this year was actually a joy. You don't realize when you're planning for an event how much actually having the event is a catharthis of sort.

But I digress. As I all really did was wake up early, walk around the field for hours on end to help and work with my volunteers. The Heart Walk team, who put in hundreds of hours and a year's worth of work, did a wonderful job. The event has really evolved in the last 9 years. From a "grab your yogurt and walk for 30 minutes" to a full fledged event with lots of interactive booths that truly display the mission of the American Heart Association.

It's also what I call the fastest three hours around. The walkers whoosh in and then the walkers leave and then the walkers come back for turkey dogs and it's done. What took a day to put up, takes minutes to take down, and then it's off for a cleebratory beer. It's a tiring day, but also a fun one. There are few times of year where you get to see nearly all of the people who you work with all year in one place. Plus you get to hear stories of survivors, people who've lost loved ones and those who are supporting survivors. It's just a fun day and if you haven't been--either in Nashville or wherever you are, I encourage you to do so. In fact, there's a walk in Rutherford County on November 7th if you want to go :) (www.rutherfordheartwalk.org).

Coming To The Jesus Phone

Chef and I had a come to jesus moment this week. Although instead of it being Christ, Jesus was in the form of the iPhone. AKA the Jesus Phone.

It all started about two weeks ago in Fort Walton Beach, FL. We were there for a brief stop as Patrick's Grammie had passed away. I have to take a moment and say how truly awesome Grammie was. She literally opened her arms to me the first time I walked through the door and was one of the best pen pals I ever had. I also know she was a fantastic mother and grandmother that is sorely missed.

Anyway, while in Florida my work cell started freaking out on me. . . again. So I was relying on my personal cell phone which was literally the smallest, cheapest flip phone Verizon had to offer. I still contend that no one was meant to text 26 letters with the use of only 9 keys. It's against nature. It also made the texting experience suck and I began to realize just how useless my personal cell was.

The trouble with the work cell continued and finally culminated in the cell phone crashing while I was in Evansville this past weekend for the annual Komen Walk. It was a great day where I got to see some of my cousins and aunts, and of course had a very memorable day with my stepdad Jack and his fiance Sara. It's always a great experience and would've been perfect except that literally all my contacts, email and other relevant information was gone from my work cell. It's super awkard when someone texts you and you don't have any contacts so you know it's from Indiana and you assume it's a family member, but really you're flying in the dark.

So after two days with a personal phone that didn't work and a work cell that was going nuts for the 5th time, I decided that I couldn't wait 6 more months to upgrade my phone. Chef did the research and it was easy enough for us to switch over to AT&T (who thankfully have dropped Luke Wilson as their spokesperson--at least for now) and get iPhones. We both really hate lining Steve Jobs's pockets, but really like being able to communicate without punching 100 keys to spell two words.

So, two weeks and we've had two trips to our hometowns--both in remembrance of someone. And iPhones. Now you're caught up.

Brown Hair, Sad Shopping and a Trip To Fort Walton Beach

It's been a roller coaster couple of days here. We found out Sunday afternoon that Chef's grandma (aka Grammie) passed away that morning. Grammie had been battling a brain tumor and various other related ailments since May. But those of you who've lost someone know that it doesn't really matter if you know for a day or 100 days that someone is going to pass away (I mean, we all are on the clock on that one so to speak), it sucks no matter when it happens. There's really no such thing as "being prepared" for someone to die. At least emotionally.

But I digress. Grammie was a wonderful, honest, insightful woman and I'm sad that I only got to know her for a short time. And I'm really sad that Chef has to go to Fort Walton Beach for that reason and not some happier occasion.

We are heading out tomorrow for funeral and showing. Of course it didn't dawn on us until after the shock set in that Chef has absolutely nothing to wear. I mean, his name is "Chef'" for now and he has things suitable for a Chef to be wearing. When he's officially "Legal Eagle" in the future, I'm positive the nice clothes won't give us a second thought, but until then. Well, let's just say that a trip to the mall was in order. He successfully purchased dress slacks (I love the word slacks in the right context--in the wrong context it just sounds very 1980s), a gray dress shirt, a tie, socks, a belt and shoes. Seriously, I felt bad that I've been ignoring his cries for clothing as it was pretty obvious which of us is neglected.

The mall trip was my second as the first trip was made a few hours earlier. I had the afternoon off to celebrate our office's success while some of my co-workers were celebrating at an official gathering in Atlanta. (I have to say that I think I may have come out ahead on this one. . . ). While sometimes it may seem like my changes are random, know that I have usually spent at least a couple of hours internalizing and researching them before I actually pull the trigger.

So yesterday I pulled the trigger and became a brunette. Really brunette. Anne Hathaway was my celebrity color trigger. Her and that girl from Twilight Ashley Greene. I actually like it. It makes me eyes stand out a little more. I probably won't keep it forever, but it's fun to do something different. Pictures will be posted when I have a picture that looks decent and not hideous.

My New Favorite Things To Watch

Clearly football is it, but not today's Colts game. It looked like they were a little rusty still from the off season. At least the defense definitely was.

But I digress. This week I found two new things that make me laugh: MacGruber and United States of Tara. Chef introduced me to MacGruber--the movie, not the crappy SNL skit. In fact, it was the skit that made me super leery to watch the movie. But honestly, it made me laugh out loud several times. One particular time that involved gobbling over a throatless body. It was way funnier than the last line indicates.

And one a whim I asked Chef to hook us up with United States of Tara. We watched an episode and it was pretty good. Toni Collette is pretty damn talented. You forget that she's Australian because he accents are so damn good. I was a little worried that it would be too kitschy because of the dissociative identity disorder angle, but actually it's just a good family drama. I hate the idea of liking a writer who took the pen name, Diablo, but I actually like most of what Diablo Cody writes. She's helping fill the void in my heart after Amy Sherman-Palladino quit writing Gilmore Girls.

The only other show I've watched lately that gives me the same kind of "I wish I had written that" moments is "The Big C" On HBO with Laura Linney. Its about woman who finds out she has terminal cancer and then decides not to tell anybody--not her husband, not her teenage son, and not even her homeless brother. It's sadly funny. And touching. And clearly has a special place in my heart because of my mom's struggles with cancer.

Speaking of struggles and cancer, the damn disease took another wonderful person today. Chef's Grammie lost her months long battle. She was a wonderful lady who was a great pen pal to me. I'll cherish the letters we exchanged and the influence she had in molding the man that I love. We'll be heading down south to Florida to the funeral in the next day or so when we know the plan. She was well loved and taken care of by her children. She'll be missed.

No Blood, No Foul

Chef showed me this video the other day and I had two thoughts:

1) I didn't know that Amazing Race had started again this season (it hasn't).

2) There was no blood or broken bones visible, so the girl is probably fine. In fact, I immediately thought of my friend Amanda's Dad's saying that he busted out in times of injury: "Walk it off." ( for the record, my dad's saying is "One thing you know is that you never know.")

Chef said he was debating on showing me this video until he heard the girl who didn't get hit say "They don't call it the Amazing Race for nothing." That sealed the deal for him. Check it out:

Only a few more nights of crappy TV

Seriously. Is anyone else tired of this crappy TV? I mean, Sunday and Monday nights aren't too bad because we have Mad Men, Entourage, True Blood, Weeds and The Big C (which is my new favorite). There are a couple things that suck: 1) That's only two nights in a week and 2) they were all on hiatus except Mad Men because of Labor Day.

So, the launch of college football season helped to satisfy my need for new programming a little. Plus the Hoosiers won big, so YAY. And really, the NFL season kicks off on Thursday, so there's only one more night of crap-filled "Kate Plus 8" and "South Park" reruns. Unfortunately, I have a work thing so I'll miss the official Kick off of the New Orleans-Vikings game. And the crap thing is that the Titans play at the same time as the Colts, so no Indy game this week. I'm relegated to NFL.com recaps. I need the NFL Network's Red Zone channel.

And the beginning of the NFL season also brings the return of Chef and my's favorite new show: The League. It's hilarious. If you haven't seen it--even if you aren't a fantasy football fan--it's well worth it. Also, the new fall season kicks off, so the rest of my stories will begin. What should I get to replace Lost?

A Blast From My Family's Past

Today I drove to Murray, Ky. Never been there before--actually, at least in my memory. Today as I was at a cemetery,I actually did remember being there, but I digress. If there hadn't been a Murray, Ky, there wouldn't have been me. It's where my family is from. I'm actually pretty lucky in that I've been to most all the towns that my grandparents and great grandparents have come from. It's pretty cool.

But today was really neat because I met my Dad, Robin and Grandma Wrye in Murray to take the tour. My dad went to school there. I'd actually been to my mother's college (she went to an all-girls catholic university that she sent me to summer camp at when I was 8). But I got to see Murray State, a school that I had rejected before it was even proffered. In my defense, I had rejected my mother's college even before she sent me there to be locked in a room with a piano and a nun during a particularly nice summer.

I got to see the land where my great grandma had lived, the house she designed later in life, the bones of the store that my great grandpa had started, and the grave of my dad's namesake (and my great-uncle who died at 22 years old in service over seas). It was pretty cool to listen to my grandma and dad as memories washed over them. It made me wonder what landmarks in my life that I'd want to revisit and point out to my potential offspring. An even smaller part of my ego wonders which house I've lived in that they'll make a historic landmark of when I become a widely famous author that is only partly adored in my own time and by those lucky few who were avid readers of my blog--still reading?

Anyway, it was a great day and I had a great time learning about those who came before me. Now to spend the evening in the loving company of Chef and the awesome Chili he's been working on for quite a few hours now.

It's On. . .Again

I feel like I do this every few months or even days, but it's back on again. What's "it"? The diet. Lifestyle change. Eating Better. Whatever euphemism you want to use for counting calories is what "it" is.

For me, I haven't done "it" in several months. Maybe truly a whole year. The good news is that I've continued exercising. So I haven't gained all the weight back. I'm just starting to look crappy in my clothes. Or even if I don't look crappy, I feel like I look crappy and that makes all the difference. Plus my closet is only half relevant because the other half of my clothes are too tight for me to be comfortable in.

And here's the thing. Or two things rather. 1) When you've been really overweight, okay, obese, and you lose a lot of weight, people think that as long as you haven't gained all the weight back, you're coming out ahead. While it's nice to have that cushion, I know that not going all the way back to that weight (well over 200 pounds) is not an option. 2) People are very polite when it comes to weight. At least to your face. It's the like the last taboo of society so it's not common to talk negatively about someone else's weight. Let me give you an example: "I've gained 10 pounds. I feel gross."

"I haven't even noticed. You shouldn't worry about it."

That's the conversation that millions of people have every day because we know if we were the one that says we've gained weight, we're really hoping no one else has noticed. And if they have, we hope they are polite enough not to say anything.

So, it's back to portion control, striving for five fruits and vegetables, and making better choices. Wish me luck again.

An Anniversary of Sorts

I'm not ashamed to admit it. I'm 31 years old and I want my mom. I think the older we get, the more likely we are to admit that out loud. One of the differences is, and most of you know this, that my mother passed away. In fact, it was 10 years ago today that she died.

The weird thing was that this week, I was bopping through my life thinking "Wow! It hurts so much less now. I miss her, but this is going to be an easy one." And then BAM! Not so much. Ten years is a long time. In fact, it's a third of my life. It's weird to think that 10 years is about half of the time that mom and I had together. Even weirder to think of being only 42 and I will have lived as long with her as without.

And clearly it's hard not to think of the things that she didn't get to see. Her grandchildren, Chef, me actually losing the weight she had so begged me to shed. I also think of the things that would be different if she were still around. I probably wouldn't have moved to Nashville. I might not have met Chef. There wouldn't be cats in my house, as she was very allergic.

It's easy to be sad about it. Mostly I miss her and the things she brought to my life. You don't realize how much someone motivates you by their presence until its not there. Or how much you appreciate getting a package or card in the mail until they start coming less frequently. It makes me realize the things that were really important. And on most days I try to remember those things and not the others that seem to take up so much of my time.

But despite everything--and I know I'm not alone in this--, I have no shame in saying that I want my mom.

At Least It was A Straight Love Scene This Time

Clearly, I'm not the only one who has taken a shine to Eric Northman. What? You don't know who Eric Northman is? You must not watch True Blood. Because if you did, you'd know Eric Northman. That's not the actor's name--he's Alexander Skarsgard. Eric is the "bad" vampire (yes, a little redundant). As I was explaining to another fan and co-worker today, I really feel like Eric does the right things the wrong ways and gets a bad wrap for it.

Nonetheless, Eric mania has taken over America. He was the only one besides Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer that appeared naked on the cover of Rolling Stone. He's not listed on imdb's initial page of main characters. But I'm still digressing. The biggest problem I have with Eric's role in True Blood is that the first scene with him shirtless in a LONG time was a gay love scene. I'm not opposed to being gay (not that there's anything wrong with that--my Seinfeld homage), but it's a little disheartening when you've been waiting to see someone semi-naked and they are--just behind another man.

Chef is supportive of this infatuation in a way only he can be (a good way!). His take was "If Eric's gonna be naked, can he at least be naked with someone hotter than Anna Paquin so we both win?". It's a fair question and one that I'm hoping provides us both with a win-win situation.

On a separate less lustful note, has anyone else wondered what's become of Emilio Estevez? No? Just me? I guess that's why he hasn't really been heard from lately. Young Guns was on the dial tonight and it just got me thinking. I looked up his imdb entry and one of the trivia made me go "Huh? Really?". Apparently he was engaged to Demi Moore at one time. I wonder if she thinks of Emilio during sex with Ashton?

Things I Wouldn't Have Tried 5 Years Ago

I remember my mother telling me that my tastes would change and expand the older that I got. As a know-it-all kid, I didn't think they would. Of course, as it is with most things that I challenged my parents on, I'm wrong again. I do have to say that Chef has been the one who has expanded my horizons the most. Or myself. I mean, I will give myself some credit for making a concerted effort to try new things, live a healthier lifestyle and not just be the giant, shapeless bump that I could've easily been.

So, here are a few things that I've "discovered" (no, I'm not Magellan --or gelin'--nor do I think that I am discovering anything other than new-to-me things):

• Brussels Sprouts: Toss 'em in olive oil, salt and pepper and roast those bad boys until slightly crispy. Delish.
• Water: clearly didn't discover this, but actually start drinking it. Not until after a nurse was taking my blood on a finger prick and said "I can tell you don't drink a lot of water because it's taking forever to get a dot of blood." I don't know if that's true or not, but it did make me imagine that my blood was made up of Diet Coke.
• Sushi: I was just too chicken and a little too country to have tried this without Chef there to navigate the menu.
• Jogging: Who knew? I could jog for about two miles a day and actually enjoy it. And still do it more than two years later.
• Bellini's: I'm not much on peach, but add some champagne and you've got a winner. Although Chef made this, it's not too big of a stretch to make me like an alcoholic drink.
• Yoga: Okay, I tried it more than 5 years ago, but that experience did not make me want to try again. Mostly because I apparently got a little too relaxed during my first time. Now, I enjoy the lengthy stretching without self-consciousness.
• Fried Green Tomatoes: I normally hate tomatoes, but this just goes to show that you can fry anything and I'll eat it.
• Cats: Three years ago it took Chef about 6 months of leaving pictures of tiny little kittens on our computer desktop before I finally caved and said we could get one. I was determined to be a dog person. Turns out I'm a pet person. Obviously.
  

I'm sure I'll think of many more, but that's it for now. Anyone else got something they've added to their lives as an adult that I should try?

Why I Hate My Apartment Complex

It started with a call around noon. My apartment complext called my personal cell phone and it went a little something like this:

"Hello, Ashley? This is Chastity from Westmont apartments. I'm calling to see why you haven't paid your rent this month."

Me: We paid our rent this month.

C: I'm showing that your rent was due on the first and you haven't paid it.

Me (scrambling to my computer to fervishly sign in to my online banking): Hold on for a second. Actually, I did pay. My bank account shows that you all cashed my check on August 4th for the amount of XXX. The account number on the back of the check that you endorsed is XXXXXX.

C: Oh, it's not showing up in our system. There must be a computer error that shows your rent being due twice in a month. I'll call IT and have them fix it.

End of phone call.

As I was sitting there with my hear pounding, I started to get fired up. We have never been late in paying our rent in the 6 years that Chef and I have lived together. Six years in one place. Never late. But the company calls us 16 days past the rent day and 12 days after the late fee day to accuse us of not paying. And there's no "I'm so sorry for this" or any kind of apology. Nothing. So now I'm fired up and I can't let it go. So I wait two hours and then call her back to express how disappointed I was in how the situation was handled and it just made it worse. Here's how that conversation went:

C:Westmont Properties, this is Chastity.

Me: Chastity, this is Ashley LAST NAME calling in regards to my rent payment.

C: Now which apartment are you in again? I've made a lot of calls today.

Me: Apartment XXX in XXXX complex.

C: Oh, right with the computer error.

Me: Yes, that was me. I was just calling to let you know that I'm disappointed in how the situation was handled.

C: Excuse me?

Me: I know that you are probably making a lot of calls concerning late rent but I am hurt that we've been tenants for more than 6 years, hadn't missed a payment and weren't treated better.

C: I don't know what to say. I mean, I said I was sorry. It was a computer error. And, you say that I make a lot of late rent calls, but I really don't. So I don't know what you want me to say.

Me: Actually, you didn't say you were sorry. That's why I was calling you back.

C: Well, I am sorry and now I've said it three times in this call.

Me: I'm disappointed in the manner and tone with which you made the call.

C: I am honestly shocked because I didn't have any tone with your call. It was a computer error and we fixed it. I'm sorry. What more do you want? I didn't yell or scream or anything.

Me: I'm hoping you wouldn't ever yell or scream at a tenant. I guess I wanted a little courtesy for having paid consistently on time and for an apology.

C: I've said I'm sorry.

Me: Fine. Goodbye.

C: Goodbye.

The above is why we will not be renewing our lease at this place. And why if you rent in Nashville, I would NOT recommend any place managed by Westmont Properties.

I Never Thought I was THAT Girl

But apparently I am. Last night my cruelty reached an all-time peak with Chef. He was actually a good sport about it, but I'm still feeling incredibly guilty. I turned into THAT girl. The one who made her boyfriend watch Lifetime Television for Women. And not just for Project Runway. I don't feel the least bit guilty about that pleasure as everyone should watch and adore Tim Gunn.

It was a Lifetime Made for TV movie. One that I'm a sucker for. Mostly because it was about a chunky girl who's a writer who lost weight and what happened after that. Not that that's a whole lot like my life as I didn't make up a fake personality, write a book, or get to wear a fabulous pair of Christian Louboutins. Nor did I meet a man who loved me only after I lost weight. I met one who loved me either way. And he also loved me while watching the end of a Lifetime Made for TV movie. God bless him.

In my defense, I do watch ESPN WAY more than Lifetime. At least an 8 to one ratio. If I'm being conservative. More like 10 to one during football season. I'm just saying. . .

And He Took a Turn Towards the Ben Seaver

When I first pondered this the other day, I didn't realize that the actor in question was from Indiana. It almost seems sacreligious to poke fun, but at the same point, I can't pull my punches just because someone was born in the same geographic area that I was.

So, here goes. I wondered what the hell happened to the kid from Star Wars: Phantom Menace. The one who had to play Darth Vader as a kid. The second most hated character after Jar Jar Binks. It has less to do with Star Wars and more to do with the. . .did that kid die or what?

Well, he's still alive. Not working so much, but it seems like he pulled a Ben Seaver. It happens. You're a cute kid, but that doesn't necessarily translate into an attractive adult. I mean, the jury's still out on Dakota Fanning, but I'm leaning towards her making it. Jake Lloyd (aka Darth Vader) seems like he's more on the Ben Seaver end of the scale than Justin Timberlake.

Am I wrong?

It's 10 Seconds and It Makes Me Laugh for WAY longer

Tosh.0 aired their usual viewer video and it cracked me up. And just thinking about it continues to crack me up. So I thought I'd share the simplistic genius of Invisible Engine and the 10 seconds that split my sides. Enjoy! My gift to you.

Attack of the Tacky

I have never been a girly girl. I have never considered myself exceptionally high maintenance. But nothing will change that perception faster than a trip to Gatlinburg.

I had never been to Pigeon Forge, Gatlinburg, Dollywood or anything in that area. Not that I hadn't wondered about it, but Tennessee wasn't the normal destination for vacations in Indiana. I had a few trips to Nashville, but other than that, it was mostly Indianapolis, Florida or the grandparents houses. We had the extra special trip to the Cayman Islands too, and a trip to Myrtle Beach, but I digress.

So I didn't know exactly what to expect. And Gatlinburg was beyond my expectations. I went with two of my chicks for a quick girls' trip. Had we gone for a mountain retreat, the experience might've been different. But probably not better. I love the tacky. It gave me fuel for the snarky comments for the entire time I was there PLUS a blog entry and some good stories.

So we had a great hotel (thanks, Jules!) and after the 6 hour trip (normally 4, but the traffic made it like Spring Break '94), we got dolled up for a night on the town. The recommended watering holes were a brewery that was owned by Calhoun's and the TGIFriday's. Not a great sign.

My favorite points of the trip were the crowded streets with families where at least one teenager looked mortified and parents were determined to make some memories, dammit. There was a plethora of options for miniature golf, ziplines and dinner shows. But places that stayed open past 1 a.m.--not so much.

The best part of the trip was the time with the girls. But that's often the case, isn't it? The company makes the trip.