People I'm Scared of and People I'm beginning to Talk Like

What do you do after the trip of a lifetime? Get your pictures back from snapfish, wade through the stack of papers and mementos, and decide to start a scrapbook. The word scrapbook conjures up images of suburban mothers posing their children at sporting events so that they have the right vertical image to finish a certain sports-themed page. It kind of creeps me out.

I was no less creeped out when I went to the local Michael's on a Saturday afternoon. She-Ra, I don't know how you managed not to use your powers in Greyskull when you worked at the Michael's, but DAMN it was scary. Old ladies were muttering to themselves and shaking their head at the sale items. One lady was chanting to herself "Yeah, it would look good, but it would be worth the hours of taking all the leaves off?" I think she was waiting for someone to come up, put a hand on her shoulder and say "It would SO be worth it."

Then there was the scrapbooking section of the store. It was three aisles of crap I can't believe people buy. There was a package of miniature Euros that actually cost more to buy than the Euros inside of it. People are insane. Craft people have now officially taken over the top spot as the scariest people I know. They narrowly bumped off rednecks, but we'll see how soon it will take the necks to reclaim their spot.

Speaking of reclaiming things, I need to reclaim my real voice. I started talking like a co-worker in mocking fashion last week and it has since escalated. Not only do I mock the person to his or her face, but I can't help doing it. I call it my Southern Fried Oprah voice. It escalates to orgasmic levels at the the end of the sentence (ala "John Trav-OLTA!") and has a major accent added on. It's starting to take over like the "La la la" voice on Seinfeld. I need to just let it go.

I'm an alcoholic because I eat too much

There are always weird people out there, but when you actually get one talking to you its like seeing a celebrity. You didn't know they really existed this close up.

Today a lady complained because she'd eaten something with a Kentucky Bourbon Sauce on it and her doctor told her not to have alcohol in her diet. There was no amount of explanation (the alcohol cooks off) or rationalization (she even talked with several nutritionists) that could make this woman believe that she hadn't eaten something that would kill her.

I have another theory. My theory is that the lady is strictly religious and doesn't want bourbon mentioned on mainstream items. She thinks that if she bitches enough to the organization, they'll do something about it. However, in this case, she's wrong.

People are crazy.

So close to 5,000 I can taste it

I'm almost at 5,000 visitors to my blog. I was a little scared this morning when I logged on because I knew I was close and didn't want to be my own 5,000th visitor to my blog. It's a little pathetic.

I didn't realize how many people were actually paying attention until I was at a "Texas or Bust" party for my brother and his family yesterday. A few people there actually mentioned how close I was getting and one lovely aunt talked about wanting to be the 5,000th.

Nonetheless, I'm excited to be there. If it's you, please let me know. If you're 5,001 and no one has commented, then do me a favor and humor me. I like to be humored.

Disappointing Ending

I turned down a job offer today and its the second one that I had to turn down in the last four months. It seemed like a nice enough job: good hours, could walk to work, easy tasks. However, it was lacking in two things: 1) salary--about what I make now and 2) domestic partnership insurance. You might recall that Chef and I take advantage of this offering at my current job (Dec 7, 2005) and to not have the option would set us back some major bucks.

So I wait and search out again. If anyone has any ideas, let me know. I'm not desperate. Just seeking a direction at this point. Except for education. I don't think I could handle teaching kids and bless those that can.

On another note, I'm in Eville on Oct. 7th. Anyone wanna grab some corn fritters with me?

And they said it wouldn't last...

On Saturday, Chef and I celebrated our two year anniversary. I know, it's hard to believe that we've already been together two years. What's even more sad is that we're getting to be an old, busy couple. The kind that can't celebrate their anniversary ON their anniversary but instead has to plan a separate date to celebrate on. Yes, we're that sad. We're celebrating officially on Thursday.

Other than that, things are busy. I went back to my roots yesterday for the annual Komen walk. My stepdad and I walk it out in mom's memory. It's always a nice time and after the first year, we learned to just show up right before the race. If you get there while they're doing the survivor ceremony, it can make you really bitter.

Besides that and our anniversary, work is busy but not all that important. It's an income and I'm doing well enough on the job. That's all that a job is really for. I'm not looking for earth shattering moments.

However, family is important and one piece of mine is moving to the only other state that loves orange as much as the one I live in. My brother, his wife, my niece and my nephew are heading to Tyler, Tx. Kind of funny because my nephew's name is also Tyler. Anyway, Matt got a really great job offer and its a great opportunity. I just hope my niece and nephew can resist adding the Texas drawl to their language skills.

And because demand was so high (okay, one person requested it, but I'm doing it anyway). Here are a few more pics from my Europe Trip:


This is a view of Wasserburg, Germany, where we spent the majority of our time.

I can only put up on picture right now because it took twenty minutes to upload this one and I want to go home.

The good, the bad and the transvestite

I'm back home and in Chef's loving embrace again. Although I took today off of work because the jet lag kicked my ass. That and the fact that I was awake and travelling for about 30 hours.

My last night in Europe was in Milan, where I was leaving from. It wasn't anything like I expected it. You hear Milan and think "Fashion capital, beautiful, metropolitan." It was mostly dirty and grafitti-covered. Dad showed me all the pretty parts and still I liken it to going to Europe to visit Pittsburgh. We stayed one night in a hotel that wasn't too bad but not in a picturesque neighborhood. All night as we tried to sleep (we had to get up at 4 to get me to the airport in time), I kept hearing horns honking and people going in and out of the hotel.

It wasn't until we went outside to wait for the cab that we finally put everything together. We were staying on the Hooker Highway. Prancing across the street was a topless, thong-wearing transvestite with her friends. Everytime a car passed, more honking. Europe was interesting even up until the end.

I'm posting a couple of pictures from my adventure with probably more to come in the future. Here are just a few:

The beers were much bigger in Germany and tasted better too. Here I am having one at noon in the English Gardens in Munich.











The beers are bigger, but the cars are smaller. This is a two-seater Smart Car. It runs 80 mpg and is supposed to be coming to the states in a few years. Chef says they're really safe, but I'd still hate to be hit by an Escalade in one of these.









Breakfast at the Burgers, our German hosts. From left to right, Elizabeth Burger, Heine Burger, Michael Sturmlinger, Edith Sturmlinger, Robin, me, and Hansi Burger. Germany was so beautiful.











This is the side street that our apartment in Bellagio, Italy was on. It's obviously beautiful, but loses its immediate appeal when you're lugging up a 40 lb. suitcase after the two train rides, taxi ride and rough trip on a hydro-foil boat that it took to get there.






These are only four of the pictures that I took while there. I've got another 185 to share. It was the best trip of my life. The only thing that could've made it better was if Chef was there too. Next time, he will be.

Why do Italian trains NOT have air conditioning when so many people opt out of deoderant?

Today I was in a car, on two trains, in a taxi, on a hydroplane boat and walked up about 100 steps. You can only imagine how good I smelled this afternoon. Plus the train from Verona, Italy to Lake Como had no air conditioning-- good times and it seemed like the longest part of course.

Germany was wonderful. The families we stayed with were so much fun and Tini's wedding was the most fun bridal event that I've ever been to. It was literally 14 hours and I'm thinking that Chef and I need to incorporate some Bavarian wedding traditions into our wedding, if we ever take the plunge.

I got to see the Konigsee and had a nearly private tour of Hitler's Eagle's Nest. I got to walk the river Inn and eat so much good food. I REALLY loved Germany, so Italy has a lot of ground to cover in a short amount of time. I'm heading back to Milan to flight out early Saturday morning (Italy time) and will be back in Evansville on Saturday afternoon. I hope to be back at the pad by Saturday night.

I've taken more than 160 pictures with two days to go, so I bet that I'll end up posting one or two when I get back. I even have make up on in one of them.