To bitch or not to bitch

Why is it that women always seem to bitch about the ones they love most? Not their family or other girlfriends as much as their lovers, boyfriends or husbands. To our co-workers, our friends and even the occasional person on the street, we bitch.

It doesn't start out that way. We start a relationship and endlessly praise every little thing that's done right. The small things we don't like get overlooked until that magic comfort level is hit and we begin to bitch. When is that magic bitching point? When the first fart slips out?

We bitch about the little things, the big things and the strange things no one else understands. Do we need to reason our argument out loud to make it valid? Do we feel if we can defend ourselves to another, then we can surely defend our argument to our significant others?

Unfortunately, the bitching has a side effect of making our loved ones seem so much worse on paper than they are in person. We don't stop to praise the little things to our friends that happen every day. In fact, my friend's husband even says to her after he's done something that merits her voice being raised "Oh God. Your friends are going to hear about this one now." Should fear really motivate us to behave unlike ourselves?

I'm making a conscientious effort to bitch less this year. Except about work and the people that piss me off there, because unlike my friends and others in my life, I didn't choose to get to know them. I just have to put up with it. And occasionally piss them off in return to even things out.