Thursday, January 20, 2005

We're No. 2!

I've spent all morning dealing not with the press, but with people who've read the news that heart disease is the number 2 killer of those under 85--overtaken by cancer. Suddenly people want to know if the American Heart Association is mad that it's become second.

Hello? Am I the only one that read the mission statement? It says something about reducing death and disability from heart disease and stroke. Isn't this proof that the message is working? In the spirit of this news, here's a list of things that I wouldn't want to be at the top of:
  • Porn Fluffer: all that work and no action
  • Cult leader's right hand man: you know you'd be the first to die and what if no one else followed?
  • Body Odor: although I do know a few nominees...
  • Foot fetish: Feet look like big mounds of flesh with little worms coming out the end

However, despite the news, I don't feel a big threat to my job security. I doubt that our McDonald's-loving, exercise-loathing, TV-watching, nicotine-inhaling nation will become healthy overnight.

1 comment:

Precious Schultz said...

I find it somewhat disconcerting that the mouthpiece of the AHA is telling me that you don't see me getting healty overnight. I resent that. I think you should be telling me sweet little lies about how skinny I can be. I'm just sayin'.


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