How to Die a Little Every Day in Birmingham without even trying

There's something to be said about going to a work function and wanting nothing more than to have a different job. There's also the realization that three days of your life are being sucked away on what could essentially be accomplished on a conference call. Here are some notable highlights:

• Being told by boss's boss that I need to doctor a picture being sent to the press during a break from ethics training. Nothing like defrauding the media to make you feel ethical.
• Learning about Diversity in a town not especially known for its tolerance. I'm sitting with a group that refers to people as "the gays" and thinking about nothing other than church bombing, race riots and segregation. Perhaps a day trip to the Civil Rights Museum would have been more effective.
• Listening to a motivational speaker who only motivates you to brainstorm other places that you could work that don't bring in motivational speakers.
  
• Being lectured on healthcare and the lack of insurance coverage of certain medical tests by a co-worker and realizing that your own company's insurance wouldn't cover those tests either.

Oh the joys of the business trip, where the place you stay is determined by the free breakfast offerings and the days stretch deep into the night with free dinners that aren't actually free, because they steal your soul.

It's nice to be back.