Friday, May 31, 2013

Is this the furry face of a monster?

He looks all sweet and innocent, but deep down, this guy has a problem. An addiction or compulsion really and if he had the ability to understand me, I'd try an intervention on him. His addiction? Plastic.

I'd start with "Attila, your addiction to plastic has hurt me in the following ways:

You chew through plastic bags containing carb-laden food that I love. The holes you create then allow the others in your pack to pounce on the food inside leaving a nibbled, soggy mess.

If makes it impossible for us to leave out anything that crinkles and isn't a cat toy.

You have gone into my purse--my purse!-- and taken out plastic Ziplock baggies of tampons. Okay, I admit it. It's funny to see your furry, guilt-stricken face as you try to scamper off with the bag between your teeth."

Yesterday morning Chef said  "Honey, Attila left you a present out here." as I was getting up. Typically this means the occasional hairball or perhaps something coming out the other end, but that morning it was an actual tampon that he had nibbled through the top of the plastic wrapper of. He has a fascination with all feminine hygiene products. I know it's the plastic, but I also think they have a different smell that attracts him.

Weirdo. I guess until Jeff VanVonderan is available for cat interventions, I'll just have to be more protective of our plastic and my tampons.

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