Sunday, April 24, 2011

My Easter Surprise

Of the many smells that I've woken up to on Easter (slow-baking ham, the light hint of chocolate sitting in baskets, dyed eggs roasting in the early morning sun, an overwhelming aroma of sugar), none startled me quite like this morning's.

The epic saga began at about 4 a.m. when I was woken by a sour stomach. I tried to wait it out, but it didn't work and I had to purge. Not a great way to start the morning. It also took me about a half an episode of "Law & Order" to fall back to sleep.

I was just hitting my slumber stride when I felt a shove in my back. Like I'm apt to do at that time of morning, I ignored it. But then I got another shove in the back. I flipped over to say "WHAT?!" in my annoyed voice when Chef just pointed to a space of sheet about 8 inches from his face. The space had a glob of cat feces on it.

"Don't move. I'll get it up and get it," I said heading towards the bathroom to get some toilet paper to scoop up the glob. On my way back to the bedroom, I was startled by a steaming pile of cat poop sitting square in the middle of our stark white duvet.

"Don't move, honey," I said.

Chef saw my hands move to an area below the glob and looked down. "Aww! Really??" It was about that time when the stench began to turn my stomach for the second time in a few hours. It took a lot more toilet paper, some cursing and our cat specific stain and odor remover before the space was clean.

Of course, the smell lingered for a while. Chef smelled it too. It wasn't until he pointed it out that I realized that I had a giant cat poop smear on the side of my foot. Chef called it the ninja poop.

That was enough to necessitate a complete shower.

It's several hours and an additional shower later and I'm still wondering when I'll feel clean.

Happy Easter everyone!

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