Sunday, May 08, 2011


For the last week or so I've been making an incredible transformation. I go to bed as a 32 year old and wake up as a 70 year old. It's quite amazing.

Sadly, not all of me is 70. Or should I be thankful. There are days that I would debate that. But mostly I'm thankful.

So why am I feeling so old? Because for the last week I have woken up with the world's worst neck crick. Actually, it's probably more than a neck crick. It's horrendous. It's what Chef thinks is a seized muscle. My neck (and subsequently my shoulder) are so taut and painful to move. There's a strip of muscle and tendon that run down the length of it. Chef's theory (and probably a right one) is that that muscle is refusing to move and tightens up because it's trying to immobilize my neck. It wants to prevent further damage.

Sadly there's really no medicine for that. No form of Aleve or Tylenol: Muscle Seizure that can help. I've tried warm showers to loosen it up and Chef has probably sprained a hand from massage. But still no use. And to make things more complicated, the pain is probably related to my sleeping with one arm under my head of my back.

I think this might be the one that sends me over the edge to doctordom. I've got to visit because at this point, I'm thinking muscle relaxers sound like a hell of an idea. And for the last trick, I've got to torture Chef by sleeping on my back. Hope I don't snore too loudly.

Not that, in the end, I'm looking for much. Just to wake up and feel like a 40 year old.

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