Wednesday, March 28, 2012

The Friend Dilemma: I Need Your Noggin

I'm reading a book called MWF seeking BFF because it jumped out at me. I can relate. I'm married, in a new city and have friends--just not many that live within five states of me.

I've enjoyed the book and was really considering doing the whole "friend quest" exhibition in my own way. When I really started putting myself out there in Nashville, I met my writer friends, found friends outside of work, hell--I met my husband. All because I made a new year's resolution to not turn down any offer to do anything socially (unless I was already booked or felt like I could be in danger). A year of saying "yes" meant some awkward hang outs, but also some new memories and people that I really love.

I thought it might be that simple here. Just say YES to every invitation. But it's not. For one, there aren't many invitations. I don't know if it's a difference of not being in the South or being older now or what, but the invites to hang out haven't exactly flowed in LA. And then there's the husband factor. I already know a night with him will end up in a good time about 99% of the time, so that seems like a safer bet. But even with these factors, I know that I need to have more friends here. I'm just a social person. It's how I roll.

So here's the friend dilemma: I work 45 miles away from where I live. It's causing some unforeseen consequences that could be affecting my social life --or maybe I'm just not looking at things the right way. But to lay it out for you, typical first friend meetings happen over drinks or the like on weeknights. And herein lies the problem.  Here's how I currently see scenarios happening when I do get invites and want to meet new people:

  1.  I can't meet people who live/ work in LA at a specified time after work unless that time is like 8 or 9 p.m. Traffic here is everything everyone says it is and more so I could get home at 6 or 9 p.m. depending on the day.
  2. I have a hard time hanging out with work friends because if I choose to stay around here, I can't have a cocktail because I have to drive an hour home. 
  3. If I don't have a cocktail, I don't want to stay past 8 because it takes me an hour to get home.
  4. I get up at 5 a.m. every weekday morning because it takes me an hour to get to work (if I'm lucky) and I have to workout in the mornings or it doesn't happen. So this means I get sleepy by 10 each night.

Okay, people. You're smart. Help me with my friend dilemma please. Am I just being ridiculous or can you see my point? Either answer is acceptable-- with some explanation.


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