Thursday, January 10, 2013
There's No Crying in Baseball...or the Boardroom
And it's not like I hate crying in general. I actually find it very cathartic. There are times that I just want to get a good cry out so I can feel better about something. And I give myself permission to do so.
I realize that sounds really cold. That I give myself permission to cry, but that's what I don't really like about crying. The timing. I don't really like to be surprised by my emotions. I don't like to suddenly be overcome. It's just not who I am. So if it happens, I like for it to happen private.
Which goes back to the whole thing about crying at work. I can only think of a handful of instances where I've cried at work ABOUT work. And typically it was because I was stressed about work and something sent me over the edge where I landed in Teartown. For example. I remember a huge breakdown in the back parking lot of the AHA when I had a shitty day dealing with a coworker and then my car finally died and refused to go forward. It would only go in reverse. Tears are pouring and I'm having a nervous breakdown, but my friend (and boss) and another supervisor got out of their car in heels on their way to an event to help push my car back into a parking spot. I was losing it at work, but my work friends came through (I would like to think they were also alarmed that I was crying because again--rarely happens at work).
Most of my work tears have been personal things that have happened to me that I have carried into the office. Luckily, I've been able to scoot around and find some privacy to make that happen.
I bring up crying not because I've spent today in tears (although yesterday morning dealing with a plumbing problem before work was a whole different matter), but because I read this article about crying at work. The article spells out that it's not all bad; that crying at work can actually be good for a group. However, my cynical eyes read it and ended up thinking "This person is really advocating using properly placed tears to sway emotional advantage and camaraderie in the work place. Really? Really?".
Because that's the thing with tears, no matter how much you may want to, you can't really control them. It just seems weird to try.