Two Years In and Still Loving It

Our nontraditional wedding

Yesterday was the second wedding anniversary for Chef and I. Of course, we've been together almost nine years in total, but two years ago today was the first time I officially woke up with his last name. (although that too took a ton of paperwork and time--and I might still have my old name on a few items so sue me).

The awesome thing about getting married so close to a federal holiday is that we get a few extra days to celebrate, which we did. We hung out together the whole long four-day weekend, went to the zoo, went shopping, stayed in, and FINALLY got him a wedding band. It's bad that we hadn't made that happen earlier, but the timing worked out well with a sale and an order and BAM! They didn't have his size on hand--so to speak--but he'll soon have a wedding band. It actually made him even cuter to me when he was trying it on, which is kind of a double edged sword, as I bet it will also make him more attractive to all females. Damn our warped laws of attraction.

Nonetheless after nine years together I am happy to say that I love Chef more today than when we were first together. I never thought that I'd marry my best friend, because frankly I have the BEST friends a girl could have when I met him. And not that I don't anymore, but it's amazing how he's become my best friend. So proud of him and to call him my husband.

Happy anniversary, Chef! Thanks for all you do for me, including scooping litter boxes. :)

Happy Anniversary, LA!

Two years ago today Chef and I made our way with the cats, a Nissan Sentra and a large Penske truck into Los Angeles where we headed to our new apartment and started to lay down roots in the city of angels. It's hard to believe that it's been two years since I left Nashville. I still miss my friends there and have yet to make as many friends here (but I have made some, which I'm proud of), but I'm happy we moved here.

Los Angeles has been an adventure and I don't think I was having enough of them before I got here. Despite anything else that has happened in my life, I'm always a little proud that I took a risk and moved across country with little knowledge of the area and only a hunch. While it was easier mentally to move to Los Angeles than Nashville because I have a partner in crime, it was way harder physically. Knowing that we're far enough away from family that I couldn't hop in car and get there in a couple of hours was a sobering experience. But thank goodness for modern technology. It's made the distance between the other ones I love seem much less expansive.

I can't believe how much I've done since I've been here. Here's a recap of some of the highlights:

• I've gotten married. :)
• Had two different jobs at two different companies. I've worked at more companies in two years in LA than my entire 9 years in Nashville. 
• Traveled the US and a small part of Canada. Non-profits don't have a ton of "business trip" kind of jobs. For-profits do. While I miss Chef while I'm away, I've liked being able to see different areas of the country. Got to see Washington DC, Philadelphia and Las Vegas a LOT more than ever before. 
• Went to the LA County Museum of Art (LACMA), the Getty Villa, the Aquarium of the Pacific, a Hollywood homes tour, the Griffith Observatory, Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum, Beverly Hills, Santa Monica, Venice Beach, the American Horror Story Season One house, Staple Center, Angels Stadium, and so many more cool places.
• I've become a redhead.
• I've learned what the word "commute" really means and that estimating the time it takes to go one mile only works if you're on foot. I've also learned the hard way how much of my daily life that I'm willing to spend in a car for a job. 
• I've found great sushi and shitty pizza.
• I've gained the confidence in knowing that I can live and make it.

Now on next year's list, I want to add that I finished my novel and made headway in getting an agent. :) It's been a hell of a two years and cheers to many more!

He's the Romantic One

My handmade "paper" gift

I always knew that my husband was the more romantic one of our couple, but he really displayed this again this weekend for our first marriage anniversary. I add "marriage" because we've been together much longer than one year and I feel like we should get back credit for our seven previous years of co-habitation.

But anyway, being that the first anniversary is paper, my husband decided to give me a book. As a book lover, this was a safe bet. However, he went above and beyond just getting me a bestseller. He researched how to make his own book--including binding it. Then he went to a special art store and to a fabric store to get supplies and learn more from the experts (For those Project Runway lovers out there--including me--he went to the LA Mood store-- Thanks, Mood!). He handmade me the book pictured that he then said we'd fill up with our story.

Our Banana Tart

I cried.

Needless to say I was overwhelmed. He truly is awesome. It even outdid the pre-order of Ruth's Chris Banana tart (it's only available at SOME outlets and not the one we go to so you have to ask for it in advance to get it). It was also delicious.

Here's to a lifetime more of wonderful anniversaries and every days with my wonderfully romantic husband.

Who's the Materialistic One in your relationship?

I don't really know the answer to that question. I'd have to say that both Chef and I probably fall into the moderate category. We admire the expensive stuff and, depending on the item, will buy it if possible, but on the by and by, we also like to save money. It's such a situational decision.

I bring this up because I saw a new study out today (although not published by my company which is odd because we tend to do a lot of these things) that said that materialistic couples have more problems--even if they actually have money. And if BOTH parties were materialistic, then the number of problems rose even more than if just one party was materialistic.

Weird. So, who's the materialistic one in your relationship?

Sidenote: Why is it that when you look for an image that describes marriage, all that comes up are wedding pictures? That's only one day. The marriage itself can be much, much longer. Or sometimes not, I guess.

Longer than Dennis Rodman and Carmen Electra

Suck it, Carmen Electra and Dennis Rodman! Chef and I have been married longer than you were. I thought it would be fun to benchmark our marriage on the marriages of celebrities. Of course, it's probably only fun to do that when you're doing well. If there's a long span in similar postings it means I either lost interest in the topic or I'm nervous about bench marking.

Of course, the next question is whether to benchmark our actual marriage or the time we've been together. Because I didn't think of this topic nearly seven years ago and wasn't confident enough to realize that it was going to last this long, I'm choosing to say marriage. (Although I know that in my head I'll be adding nearly seven years on).

Of course, this also gives me the opportunity to make snarky comments about other couples that could clearly come back to haunt me some day, but I'm living for today. Dennis Rodman and Carmen Electra were technically married for six months but began divorce plans a mere 10 days after the Vegas wedding. The bride wore a tux. The groom wore a gown. Just how we always dreamed it would be, right girls? So, we've not filed or begun divorce proceedings after more than a month of marriage. We officially beat out Dennis and Carmen. If you want to get technical, I can bust out Britney Spears and Jason Alexander (no, not Costanza) wedding that lasted 55 hours.

Anyway, I love any picture that features jazz hands, so while Carmen and Dennis didn't last, I'm happy they at least had publicity photos taken that can last forever. And isn't that the sign of any good marriage? Having joint publicity photos is a commitment for Hollywood. Maybe Chef and Is should head down to the Sears Portrait Studio. . .

The Odd Thing About the Social Security Office

Today I had the best commute: 30 seconds. From the bedroom to my couch. I worked from home. I have a great job that allows me to do that every once in a while when I have appointments in LA. Today's appointment was at the social security office. It's the first step in officially changing my name to Loar. Hooray!

It wasn't that bad. I love the number system that's automated, and it only took about 30 minutes for my number to be called. It also only took another 10 for the process to be complete. I get my new card in 2 weeks. At which point, I can go wait in line at the DMV to get a new license. Ugh. All kinds of lines.

After the social security office, we were feeling indulgent so we broke our diet for the first time in a while and went to McDonald's. It was in the middle of McDonald's that I realized that for the last two hours, Chef and I had been the minority every where we went. Now that's not something you feel everyday. Wait. Scratch that. That's not something white people do every day. Clearly someone is always in the minority. It was just odd that it was me. I probably wouldn't have noticed it if the workers at the SS office hadn't been fluent in Korean and Spanish.

What a Great Week

So this entire week has pretty much been heavenly. The July 4th holiday which included a nicely cooked slab of red meat, a short work "week" of a day, then Wednesday. My dad flew in for our nuptials on Tuesday and we planned to meet up on Wednesday. While most fathers and daughters have a dance (which I'm sure we'll still have at our reception next year), my dad and I got a father-daughter baseball game. Frankly, the baseball game seemed more "us."

We watched the Angels and the Tigers at an afternoon game that was only about 1/2 full. I was a little hesitant of the seats that I'd bought on stub hub, but as it turned out, we were in the row closest to the field that had shade. It was a highly sought after row. Plus it meant that neither of us roasted to death. It was a close game with a few homers and some good defense. And it was a great day to spend with my dad. After the game, we met up later with Chef too and headed to Lawry's for some prime rib. We had a nice, leisurely meal and then went our separate ways to get a good night's sleep for the wedding weekend.

I've already detailed out some of the wedding ceremony and honeymoon, so I won't rehash. I will say that the hotel was spectacular. The only bummer was that Chef and I both fell ill on Friday. It was too much of a stomach thing to not be a little bug or even some minor food poisoning. Both of us had heavy stomachs and no desire to eat which is unlike us. At one point as we were in a grocery store buying some soft drinks to take back to the room, I felt so nauseous that I had to walk super slow and not move a lot. Chef got waves of that later.

It kind of knocked us on our butt so much that we ended up taking long naps and then sleeping on and off all night. But it was nice to have the luxury to be lazy too. And if you're gonna be sick, it's not too shabby to be sick with a beautiful ocean view.

We woke up this morning both feeling better, but sad that we were going to have to pack up and leave. We took advantage of another morning of room service (there's always something luxurious about having someone bring food to your room and eating in a bathrobe with an ocean view, right?). I think we've already decided that we're heading back to the Fairmont next year for our first anniversary celebration. It was just too damn nice! So even with late check out, we are now home and back to reality. A little sad to be out of the lap of luxury ("This has ruined me for other hotels," Chef commented), but happy to be newlyweds. At least for a little while longer.

And then we were married. . .

I have to say that as I look back, the smartest thing Chef and I did (which was mostly his doing) was getting married at the courthouse. While I've never been exceptionally afraid of being the center of attention, I have to admit that I was mighty nervous going to the courthouse yesterday morning. And getting ready was shaky too. And I only really calmed down once I was at the courthouse window checking in. I was calm then because there was a really anxious bride behind me tapping her foot and making so many comments about how her wedding was so important and didn't the ladies at the window know she had an appointment!! (For the record, her wedding was the one scheduled after ours and she had so many people in the courthouse that the people almost blocked our way into the chapel).

Anyway, once we checked in and started chatting with my dad who was awesome enough to come out to California to witness for us (more in a later blog post about our baseball game adventure), it was smooth sailing for Chef and I from there. The lady who officiated our wedding was spectacular. She was realistic, funny, and to the point. She made the occasion absolutely perfect and you could tell she loved doing it. Dad stood in the corner and took pictures on my phone for us (most of which we almost instantly posted on Facebook). It was over quickly and with a few tears, which was nice. I like being sentimental but not over the top.

And when it was done, we left the courthouse. Hugged Dad and I showed him the little packet I was carrying. It was a necklace that he had given my mom on their wedding day with a note from her to me explaining all that and hoping that I'd one day wear it. I wasn't able to wear it because the chain was so messed up, but I got to hold it and the note with me while I said my vows which made it more special. Plus I stowed in it the quarter that I borrowed from dad. Blue shoes with my sixpence and the new earrings from some Nashville friends and that old saying was checked off my list.

After the ceremony we ran some errands, had some carnitas tacos, picked up some cupcakes, and went home to pack. We checked in at the Fairmont Miramar in Santa Monica (thank you, Jack) and was instantly upgraded to an ocean view with two balconies suite. It's super nice and where I'm typing right now in a plush white bathrobe as I wait for breakfast. We were greeted with champagne in our room, cocktails while we waited for our room to be inspected, and drinks at dinner. For dinner, we went to the highly acclaimed restaurant on the first floor called FIG.

As we sat down, I hear someone call my name and look up to see one of the few people I know in LA and one of the even fewer people that I know in LA that's from Evansville staring back at me. Turns out that a friend from high school, Gaby, had just started at FIG the week before. She was so nice and hooked Chef and I up with some champagne at our table. The food was wonderful. I mean, they had bacon wrapped bacon as an appetizer (it was as delicious as it sounds--thinkbacon around large pancetta) and chicken and prosciutto brochettes. I had a fancy meatloaf and mashed potatoes with brussel sprouts and Chef had a pasta dish with rabbit. We were stuffed by the time we left. So much so that I not only bypassed dessert but didn't even get to eat my cupcake last night. Oh well. More for today.

Think we're going to be lazy, lounge around, eat some breakfast and maybe hit the beach. Not too shabby of a honeymoon!

Getting our Marriage License- and my soon to be new middle name

On this Good Friday, I made it a great Friday and went with Chef to get our marriage license. After our ordeal at the DMV, I was not expecting this to be an easy process. In fact, because we were getting our license in LA, I asked my boss if I could work from home (in anticipation that it would take a long time and it sucks to drive to work to drive back and forth).

Oddly enough, it wasn't that bad of a process. We had filled out the paperwork before coming (although I literally made the middle name decision at the window) and just had to hand over our $90. The only tricky thing was that they didn't take Visa, which was our debit card backer. Chef and I thought this was a little weird, right? So, we wrote a check. No big whoop.

After a mere 10 minute wait, we were back at the window holding up our right hands and swearing that everything we'd written on the application was true. Then we scheduled our courthouse ceremony and were out the door in less than 30 minutes. Considerably less than the "at least 60 minute" wait the web site had told us to expect.

So, what did we do in the 10 minute wait? Two things:

1. Debate my middle name
2. Debate which day to get married

I chose "Clark Wrye" (no hyphen) as my "new" middle name. I just couldn't give up either name so I'll be the girl with three last names. Chef wanted me to change it to "Gray" so that I could pay homage to my dad (it's his middle name) and his Grammie (her last name) at the same time. I liked the idea, but in the end, I'm a sentimental who couldn't let go.

So, the second debate was on when we would actually get married. Well, that was a little more challenging. The Beverly Hills Registrar (yup, we're getting married in the 90210) only performs weddings every 15 minutes on Thursdays. So, it had to be a Thursday. And I wanted it to be a Thursday where I could take the Friday off too because what fun is getting married and then going back to work the next day?

We also had to take in consideration Chef's birthday. Because honestly, there has to be some space in between so we can celebrate twice. He deserves his own day and I mine. Then ours together.

So, space. That meant either we get married in 3 weeks (and I wouldn't get a Friday) or at the beginning of July. The next thing was that I'm travelling to Canada at the end of May and my passport clearly has my current name on it. I don't really want to worry about travel (even just to Canada) with all these names.

And with that in mind, we found a date at the beginning of July. Yay!

What's in a Name, anyway?

Chef and I are going to get our marriage license on Friday. We have 90 days from that point to get hitched or we have to go through the process again and pay the $90 yet again. I am currently at lunch and decided to hop on the LA County Registrar's site to see about filling out the online application for the license.

I got stumped on the first section. Not the questions about Chef, but about me. I'm changing my last name to match his. Not that hard of a decision and one I'm happy to do. Not that I don't love my identity and my last name (it's served me well for 32 years so far), but I'm tired of my poor four letters being mangled in the pronunciation. Now my new four letter last name will be mangled in an entirely different way.

That wasn't the stumper. Here's the stumper: what to make my new middle name?

I'm seriously at a loss. My current middle name is my mother's maiden name and my last name is clearly my father's name. it's like playing Sophie's Choice in reverse. Logically, I know that if I do the traditional thing and make my former last name my new middle name, it doesn't hurt my mom or her family. But still.

It doesn't feel right to keep my current middle name and toss aside my last name. Nor does it feel like "me" to go behind door number three and hyphenate them both to make a combined middle name. That just seems like more trouble than it's worth. I'm not a hyphenate-kind of girl.

So instead of filling out the form, I closed the window and started this blog post. It's not a bad thing to love so many families so much that you want to make sure you're always instantly linked as being a part of them. But hey, I've got three days to make a decision and a lifetime to second-guess it, so why am I stressing now?

Conclusions I've Come to This Week (so far)

I've been doing some thinking and chatting and various things are flitting in and out of my head. So, here are some conclusions that I've come to this week:

• I want to be married but don't really want the hassle of planning a wedding (or reception). When all is said and I done, Chef and I will be getting married here pretty quickly but won't be having a wedding reception to publicly celebrate until about our first anniversary.
• There are few embarrassing things or situations that you can't laugh your way out of. I should know. I was in one this week that is not for public consumption, but Chef got a chuckle out of it, anyhow.
• My weight loss is paying off (again). I got my license and the bloated face on it is larger than the face that stares back at me today. I guess 14 pounds will do that to a person.
• Being from a smaller state doesn't necessarily mean things are run backwards. Both Tennessee and Indiana had WAY better DMV procedures than California. It's fairly sad when Chef and I went to the DMV on the same day and he got his license 5 weeks later and I got my license 5 weeks after him.
• My office is really sad. I need to bring that box of packed items from my old office so I at least have a bobblehead and a certain onion cooker to brighten my work area.
• More choices doesn't necessarily mean BETTER choices. Case in point: our continuing restaurant saga. We've tried a pretty good gamut of area restaurants and still cannot be completely satisfied. All are really well reviewed, but don't really deliver consistent and delicious results. Chef says part of that is that we're discerning customers.
• There are some weird movies out there. Chef and I watched "Little Boy Blue" last night and were intrigued. This one's got perceived incest, maniacal military impostors and lots of Ryan Phillipe's bare ass. A weird combo and not necessarily a winning combo, but I didn't feel cheated out of valuable time in my life.

So that's what I've learned up until Wednesday. Word.