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Monday, July 11, 2005

I remember when I didn't have a couch

I remember clearly in the not so distant past when all of my belongings fit neatly in a 1985 Cutlass Supreme. It's true that the Cutlass is not known for it's lack of space, but still it's a principle of the thing.

Apparently now my belongings need a 17' Uhaul truck. Where did I get all this stuff?

I lived in the same apartment for the 4 years that I've been here. People were constantly asking me why I didn't move to a more central or fashionable location. My reply was the same: "My furniture is heavy and I'm not moving it." People usually chuckled, not realizing how serious I was.

Chef and Chef's friend found out yesterday just how heavy it was. They also got a new appreciation for my stepdad who moved me in with only the help of me and another girl. After all was said and done, everything made it to the new place, but Chef definitively said: "I'm not moving that furniture again."

So, for a while when people ask us why we don't move, Chef and I will BOTH be able to answer: "Because our furniture is heavy."

The next time that stuff makes its way to truck, some very well compensated men will be taking it to its new destination. Moving sucks and for those of you who do it often, you must be out of your mind.

4 comments:

Swampy said...

The only thing worse than moving heavy furniture is moving heavy furniture into a house that seems to be designed for the specific purpose of NOT moving heavy furniture into it.
We've got the bashed-up walls and scuffed floors to prove that we are proud renters of one of these fantastic homes.
Now we just move shit through the windows.

Hoosier Chick said...

Sadly, Schultz, I think you're right. That furniture is beautiful and I love it deeply. And I think Chef is getting used to it too.

Anonymous said...

Ms. Precious Schultz,
Due to your defamatory statement two (2) posts ago about our holding, Sauder Furniture Inc. (heretofore referred to as "The Shitty Particleboard Furniture Manufacturer" or "SPFM"), Wal Mart Holdings LLC has filed a request in federal court to apply a gag order applying to any future statements you or your firstborn may make about our asset SPFM.
Any attempts to breach this order will be met with swift retribution by the Wal Mart-owned federal government of The United Wal-States of Walmerica.
Thank you, and this letter is good for 10% off any home perm kit at Wal-Mart. Expires 8/12/05. Not valid at Sam's Club.
Sincerely,
Walter Walman, Esq.

Hoosier Chick said...

I just laughed so hard I almost farted. Damn you Wal-mart! I hear when you die that you shit your pants. I'm just saying.

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