Today I sit silently in my office and say a little prayer each time someone walks by. I start chanting "Please don't walk in here. Please don't walk in here." Mostly because I've been dropping some bombs in my chair all morning and the rotten egg and hot molten ass smell is starting to overtake my perfume. The breast cancer candle that I've mockingly kept on my bookshelf is no match for my ass today. I sit here and wonder who will inherit this chair if and when I ever leave and I begin to feel sorry for them. They will also inherit the ingrained smell of ass that comes with it. That rare blend of hot, musky gaseous petulance that has seeped through to the cushion.
Oh, crap. I think Nelly-o is coming in. This can't be good.