Thursday, March 03, 2005

Boob for Sale (Updated 3/7)

Tawny Peaks apparently has a big heart under those bigger boobs. A portion of the proceeds from the sale of her implants are going to charity. Because of this, I have to be prepared to field any boob-related calls. I always have to be the one that gives directions to the Planned Parenthood office that's across the street too, but that's beside the point.

There are always a lot of weird things on eBay, but today my new favorite was brought to my attention by Patrick. Tawny Peaks, former exotic dancer, is selling her 39 HH implants. Not just any implants, but famous implants.

Back in 1998, Tawny was involved in a lawsuit brought to the public's attention when she swung her mommy's milk bags at a client and proceeded to thump him a couple of times on the head with said boobies.

The man sued and thus opened himself up to becoming the butt of many late night monologues. However, the best part of this story was the decision to take the case before binding arbitration in The People's Court. (Hosted then by former New York Mayor, Ed Koch). To make his decision, the Honorable Ed Koch had his female bailiff grab a boob to see if they were lethal weapons.

The man lost and then Tawny went on to move out of Florida to Detroit to 'begin a new life' a la Pretty Woman. She also took out the implants to "keep it real." Real saggy.

Now to raise some cash for her three kids and her husband, she is selling her boobie on eBay for a mere $999.00. Now you can check them out here.

I'm thinking of selling my boobs to the highest bidder. Maybe advertise on them with temporary tattoos to raise some cash of my own. It's plenty of good real estate in a high traffic area. I think I could get a lot for them.

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