Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Tell Me Why?

I'm so conflicted right now that it hurts. I found out through an anonymous source (okay, it was Brooke) that my ex-beloved, Nick Carter, had been arrested for DUI. Not unusual since Nick has not gotten any publicity since the girlfriend-beating allegations and break-up with Paris Hilton (I don't condone hitting women. Shaking the shit out of them is fine, but in this case I might make an exception). We all know that a good DUI charge will a celebrity's face back in the news, even if it is only an ugly mugshot picture.

So, sad little Nick Carter is claiming that he didn't realize the implications from some prescription drugs would cause the reaction with the alcohol and BAM! He's back in the spotlight. I'm a little sad to find out that the new Backstreet Boys album is due out this summer. I'm more sad because it just doesn't hold the excitement for me that it did a mere 5 years ago in college. Am I actually growing up? Or does my real boyfriend finally trump the fake ones?

Okay, so I have taken and will continue to take a lot of flak for my somewhat obsessive Backstreet behavior which is rather unlike my personality. However, I do have to say in my defense that just because I liked the Backstreet Boys does not mean that I did not realize that it was bad music. I know the difference, but their jaunty harmonies and lyrics that I couldn't think about or risk ruining the illusion kept me entertained. It also allowed me a couple of minutes to think about something silly in a time when those couple of minutes kept me sane. And for that, I thank the Backstreet Boys or Max Martin or Lou Perlman or whoever else was clever enough to get them together and then swindle them out of millions.

I'm not digging his "sexuality" now. Posted by Hello


Precious Schultz said...

Oh. My. God. You did NOT just devote an entire blog entry to that band and your old obsession, did you? And I didn't just spend 1.5 minutes reading it (and even more typing this....), did I??? Dude. Get over it. None of us EVER understood your weird obsession with the backdoor boys. Aren't you over it yet?!?!?!? Ugh.

swampette said...

Awww, give her a break, Schultz. Dreams like that have to die on their own. I think we have Chef to thank for the new and improved, less cheesyrific Ashley. This is her GROWTH, and you're trying to stunt it.

One Nick Carter down, one Matt Damon to go. We'll BE HERE for you, Ashley.

Precious Schultz said...

So is the Man's blog name Chef? When I read that I automatically think of South Park and last night's episode with Mrs Garrison's new vagina. Wow. They just keep getting better. I love how the hospital they all went to was the Trinadad. hehehe.
Maybe the Chef is to Ashley like the vagina is to Mrs. Garrison. A big change on the outside, but really the same person on the inside.
If you didn't see S.P. last night you are probably confused and slightly offended. Gotta keep up on the South Park!

Anonymous said...

Cher was already taken, so I just changed the last letter. I will no longer have a first and last name; just "Chef".

Although "The One Who Must Not Be Named" does have a nice ring to it, it's just to hard to say in a hurry.

Precious Schultz said...

Ho. ly. Shit. Did Ashley's man really just respond to me? Does this mean that he/you does/do really exist?
I mean, Shera said that she saw him with her own two asian eyes, but I still wasn't sure what I believed.
It's like the Lochness Monster just jumped out of the water to ask for "tree fitty." I feel.... lost.

Ashley said...

Yes, Schultz, there is a Chef. And he personally responded to your smartass comment. Aren't you happy? And aren't you glad that I TiVoed South Park so that I haven't seen it yet?

Anonymous said...

Yes I do exist! Straight from the Paleozoic era. Seriously though; would you like some chocolate salty balls?

As for what the chink saw; that was my body double.

Chinkie said...

The Chink sees all. The Chink knows all.


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