We Know the Answer: It was the Chick

The question: Which died first? The chick or the pope? I think everyone's heart goes out to the family because Terry Schiavo died, but they lost her 15 years ago. If removing the feeding tube is so cruel because she can feel the starvation then how is keeping her alive to continue having the heart attacks and strokes she's been having not cruel? If she can feel one thing, she can feel it all. That's all I'm saying.

It's hard to lose someone. We all know that. But I have to think that no matter how important I may consider myself in my egotistical mind, I would never want my family making national news on a nightly basis for nearly three weeks because they didn't want to mourn.

However, now feeding tubes are becoming all the rage. The pope has one and Terry's family wanted one. Soon all models everywhere will be receiving their nutrition and champagne supplies through the thin tube going up their noses. Is that an iPod headphone wire on your face? No, it's my lunch.

Speaking of eating, I now come to Britney Spears. One would think that the lack of music, paraphernalia, acting gigs, TV appearances and all that would have curtailed her publicity. But when all else fails, send a letter to the media. Good God. Britney leave the writing to the professionals. The tabloids might be telling lies, but at least they can turn a phrase and do it entertainingly.

One thing that's not so cool was the headline that one major international news service used for the story. "Britney not pregnant, just fat." Ouch. That's what happens when you try and get publicity without the help of professionals.